Aidan

Aidan Sep 9

We are part of a fraction in the world
All trying to find our place
Floating like the air around us
But the only difference is visibility and how we make used of it.
What is our piece of the world
What are we carving out for ourselves to live in
The journey there is not easy
The journey there is not always found
But if it ever is,
Then grab hold and never let go
No matter how hopeless it feels in the moment
Now isn't that easier said than done
I myself cannot count on one hand the amount of things I stopped
All for reasons of lacking motivation or feeling insecure
Have not felt that what I am doing is enough to mean something

We are part of a fraction of the world
One that is made up of many types of people
Some we can understand
Some we cannot
But we are on the same planet
All trying to pave a way in the world
All finding the stepping stones to it
Even if it means losing things along the way
Even if it means losing ourselves for a brief moment
But there is a time
When we are all alone
Left with our thoughts
Left with the memories
Where we reflect
Where we are reminded
Where we are haunted
Where we see what we had
Where we see what we should hold onto

Words I try to keep in mind despite everything

#hope #reminder #searching #reflection

Aidan Mar 4

Relieved

It’s something that you smell
It’s something that makes you feel at home
It’s something that brings comfort
What is that for you?

What brings you the feeling of a tight hug?
What brings you the feeling of protection?
Is it a thing or a who?
Do you have a someone to lean on?
Do you have someone to make everything fade?

That’s the goal isn’t it?
It find a solace in life
A place of absolute comfort and trust
To find somewhere you feel at home
Is it your home or a different place?
Is it a person, place, or thing?
What makes you feel like you’re safe?
Where is your safety blanket?
Who is your safety blanket?

It’s a feeling of warmth wrapped all around
It’s a feeling of strength and assurance
It’s a feeling that cannot be mimicked
You’ll know what this feeling is when you have it
In that moment
You’ll feel at peace
The weight of a thousand sand bags will lift
The weight of all your worries
Gone with the wind
Turned into a feather to be blown away

Have you felt this?

Recent thoughts floating about

#comfort #protection #safety #wishes #solace #grounded

Aidan Feb 9

Try Again

What happens
When someone has no one
When there is no one to lend an ear
When a your mind comes crashing in at once
What happens then
Do we go through the motions as usual
Do we waste away and drown in thoughts
Do we question what’s being said
Do we finally choose to open up
What happens next
Beats me
If only the answer was clear
Because if the answer was clear
There would be a shining arrow
Pointing the way
Lighting the path
If all of that was true then we’d have bliss
We would have peace
But then what
The next wave rolls in
Crashing into the tranquil shores
Crashing through the walls just rebuilt
Crashing any bond with once formed
Now it’s back to square one
Back to the drawing board
Where will the dart land next
But when it lands
Will you take action
Or
Will you continue into the same path

#questions #searching #answers #reliance #alone

Aidan Feb 9

Riddle Me This

It’s amazing, it is
How people can go about life without a care
How people can say one thing then the next
It’s amazing, it is
You think that you know someone
And then they turn around
Saying the opposite of what they told you
Why does it happen you think?
Why does this confusion happen?
Why does anything happen?
It’s amazing, it is
How can someone hold so much inside?
How can someone be so bottled up?
Bottled to the point where they may burst
Bottled to where they may blow any time
How can someone be so isolated?
Maybe it’s by choice
Maybe it’s because they feel it’s the only way
Maybe because they haven’t found someone
Someone to confide to
Someone to trust whole heartedly
Someone they know will be there
Someone they know will support anything
It’s amazing, it is
How some people find it so easily
How some people can be a group
And then be so close with a few
It’s amazing, it is
How someone can feel so alone
When they have people around them
When they have ears willing to listen
But the only ear they want
Is someone pushed away long ago
Someone that offered but the way panicked
It’s amazing, it is
How an opportunity can go by so fast
How an opportunity may not come again
How small the time limit is
But you know what’s really amazing?
How we can contemplate this in our heads
But never verbally
Because of this is ever put into words
Then something has become real
Something has been put into the world
Something that one may regret in the future
Now that’s amazing

#questions #curiosity #sanity #trust #partner #mental #puzzled #wishful

Aidan Jun 2023

Company

Everyone has someone to depend on
Everyone has someone that will listen and understand
Must that be nice

How long did that take?
To let someone in.
To let someone see everything with the trust they won't judge.
How long did it take to muster the courage?
To let someone see the scars of my mentality.

It seems too much,
It seems like a hefty ask.
Yet
It sounds so refreshing.
To have someone to completely vent to,
that can be relied on to listen and not go away,
whose a permanent fixture rather than a temporary presence.

How long did it take to realize a physical being was needed?
How long did it take to allow light into the darkness?

I must sound insane if anyone could listen to my thoughts.
I am haunted by past words,
Haunted by the possible future,
Haunted by people I have let go of in fear.
What happens if I finally find someone I think I can trust,
But then push away just as quickly.

In times like these, it may be better to just stay in the dungeon
Stay hidden
Bottle it all up
Not a good choice but it is the default settings I am programmed to
Can I be re-programmed soon?
It gets kinda lonely in this dungeon of thoughts

First time I think I have put these thoughts into words...

#trust #reliance #fear

Aidan Jun 2023

Long Time No See

Boy it has been a while
My has time flown
Long time no see
How have you been?

Words of pleasantries
Often heard too many times
Often the source of stress
What to say
Should it be the truth
or
Should it be mixed in with lies

Do these pleasantries really wish to hear an answer
or
Are they said just for something to be said
Are they said as a form of greeting?
How does one know when there is someone they can open up to?

Pleasantries,
Words that can take the joy out of socializing.
Every social function,
Every reunion,
Long time no see
How have you been
Anything new?

Boy has it been a while
Since I have walked into a room where greetings aren't needed.

Have not been on in a while. Here are my thoughts on these words of pleasantries.

#pleasantries #greetings #socializing

Aidan Apr 2022

And Who Are You?

Wonderland
The place for those who are mad.
But how mad is mad?
How mad can you be in a stressful day?
How mad can you be with something out of your control?
March Hare says he’s late for an important date.
Cheshire leads in the direction unwanted but needed.
So tell me,
How mad can wonderland be?
Loose screws
Lost ideas
Clueless identities
Tell me Alice,
So just how mad would you like to be?
As you know,
Only the best people have gone mad:

A brief trip down the rabbit hole.

#questions #wonderland #madness