Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Aidan Jun 2023
Everyone has someone to depend on
Everyone has someone that will listen and understand
Must that be nice

How long did that take?
To let someone in.
To let someone see everything with the trust they won't judge.
How long did it take to muster the courage?
To let someone see the scars of my mentality.

It seems too much,
It seems like a hefty ask.
Yet
It sounds so refreshing.
To have someone to completely vent to,
that can be relied on to listen and not go away,
whose a permanent fixture rather than a temporary presence.

How long did it take to realize a physical being was needed?
How long did it take to allow light into the darkness?

I must sound insane if anyone could listen to my thoughts.
I am haunted by past words,
Haunted by the possible future,
Haunted by people I have let go of in fear.
What happens if I finally find someone I think I can trust,
But then push away just as quickly.

In times like these, it may be better to just stay in the dungeon
Stay hidden
Bottle it all up
Not a good choice but it is the default settings I am programmed to
Can I be re-programmed soon?
It gets kinda lonely in this dungeon of thoughts
First time I think I have put these thoughts into words...
Aidan Jun 2023
Boy it has been a while
My has time flown
Long time no see
How have you been?

Words of pleasantries
Often heard too many times
Often the source of stress
What to say
Should it be the truth
or
Should it be mixed in with lies

Do these pleasantries really wish to hear an answer
or
Are they said just for something to be said
Are they said as a form of greeting?
How does one know when there is someone they can open up to?

Pleasantries,
Words that can take the joy out of socializing.
Every social function,
Every reunion,
Long time no see
How have you been
Anything new?

Boy has it been a while
Since I have walked into a room where greetings aren't needed.
Have not been on in a while. Here are my thoughts on these words of pleasantries.
Aidan Apr 2022
Wonderland
The place for those who are mad.
But how mad is mad?
How mad can you be in a stressful day?
How mad can you be with something out of your control?
March Hare says he’s late for an important date.
Cheshire leads in the direction unwanted but needed.
So tell me,
How mad can wonderland be?
Loose screws
Lost ideas
Clueless identities
Tell me Alice,
So just how mad would you like to be?
As you know,
Only the best people have gone mad:
A brief trip down the rabbit hole.
Aidan Jul 2021
Always on my mind
Always lingering in the shadows
Always appearing in the quietest of moments
Always on my mind
You're always on my mind

I don't know when this has started
I don't know when this will end
I met you once after 5 years of separation
Full acknowledgement of it being one time thing
And yet
You're always on my mind

No contact in months
Yet always on my mind
Always to where I need to look at previous words or profile
Just to get you back into a dark confined corner

What had changed that one time we met?
What switch was flipped?
Afraid I cannot say
For I do not even know myself

I saw some lyrics in a video
"Always on my mind 24/7  365"
The relation to you seems uncanny at this point

Always on my mind
Always haunting me
Always planting seeds
The end?
Who knows...
Simply getting words off of my chest that have been weighing on me
Aidan Jul 2021
Like most things there is a time to leave,
a time to leave the nest one was raised in.
But the question is if the flight out will be smooth.

Will you glide on ice or end up hitting rock bottom?
Either way this is learning of the survival.

Unlike previous species,
we are taken care of until a number deemed "adult."
Other than some exceptions that is when we take off
when the wings are spread out to engulf the air of what is new.

Sticks and stones break our bones,
but they will forever leave a scar of a lesson learned
good or bad.
It is these scars that show the growth longed for
problem is that the path for this growth seems to be an outline.
It has been a marked trail for most in their lives
so traveling off the beaten path holds a sense of uncertainty.
It is either embraced, ran from or lived on the cusp.

Learning is done by experiencing by doing or watching
but how can their be learning with only
one teacher
one voice
one person
speaking to you
giving the answers and guidance.
There needs to be an abundance of people involved.

One's skin thickness does not grow overnight
but over a period of independence
where you understand how to do something
who you are
who to let into life
who to cut out
and mix in some wishful thinking here and there.

We want to plant our roots
let them expand
let them tell their story
but that is just a wish masking the underlined work.
Knowing the time to leave is the start of this growth.
Unlike other species,
we have deemed a certain number to dictate when growth starts.
Along with the exceptions,
we grow
we get cut down.
It is all endured because of a base, a wish, a dream.
Just taking into account some of the stresses and thoughts I have had this past year.
Aidan Jul 2020
I wish for time to simply stop
for everything to take a pause
it feels as if we are going at lightning speed
do we ever stop to reflect?
do we ever stop to see who has stayed by our sides?

I wish for the ability to tell the future
that way I can know what to prepare for
what to be embarrassed of
who I can trust
who I should not even try with

I wish to understand others
what they feel
why they act
why they betray
why they fade away

I wish to ask questions and get answers
why is the way to success through education?
why does our future depend on education that puts us in debt?
why do we trust when there are many knives?
why do we love when we do not know who it should be for?
why do we feel the need to deceive?

I wish to ask these and more
I wish to have the life I want and not feel regret
I wish to act but not fear the consequences afterwards
I wish to express myself how I want to
I wish to not feel the need to conform
I wish to find that one person I can trust no matter what
I wish to find that person to be with be through it all
I wish to understand people's lies
I wish to see the truth even when blind

I wish I could understand
Late night thoughts that have run through my head for years now. Some wishes are mean to be said for the chance of maybe someone hearing its call.
Aidan Jul 2020
tick tock
your time is up
tick tock
you're almost done
tick tock
time to give up
tick tock
you've been caught
tick tock
time to confess
tick tock
any year now
tick tock
the clock has struck
tick tock
liars begone

you thought you could succeed
think again
the clock has struck
and now you're done
all will know
all will see
what you have done
justice comes to all
when and where
are the factors that wait
for the perfect time
the time when it will matter most

tick tock
i've let you in
tick tock
and now we will see
late night thoughts on breaking trust
Next page