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We used to be so close
But I played with your heart
I let pride get in the way
And break us apart

I wish I could change the past
But that doesn't matter
Because I can't bring you back
And that makes my soul shatter  

We didn't speak for awhile
But I used to be yours  
Now I understand when they say:
**When it rains, it pours
You will always have a special place in my heart, Kevin. Rest easy Mook, you'll forever be missed.
Yet another tribute to all of you who write. You are the true Rock Stars of the Universe.
~
Fiddling on the Roof, as if
Throwing our common soul out
To downpour over the
Houses and streets of Anatevka, now

Abandoned. Seized by
The Tsar.
History.
Such is the soul that writes.

Tells. Thinks. Whispers of.
Records and absorbs.
Carves from Creation.
Dispenses.

Such is the soul that writes; waits
Another hour in bed in the
Morning, knowing
The Early Worm

Gets the beak first.
The Soul that writes is
The quill of the gods; angel
Feathered, timeless and part of

Everything. Say to yourselves
I will write until the only ink
I have is the black in my eye.
I'll learn to write blind from there.*

You would.

You wrote all that has
Ever been
Written.
I can't believe how amazing you are. You're the only person who's made me feel this special in a long time [delete]

are you sure you just want to be 'friends', I think I'm in love with you [delete]

can I have a goodbye kiss? I love your kisses, they taste like summer [delete]

I wish you would just say "Hi" to me in the hallways [delete]

that girl you always walk with is beautiful, I can understand why you didn't want me [delete]

when you told me I was beautiful and **** and all you would ever want, was that all a lie too? [delete]

I got a mosquito bite today and it reminded me of when we slept outside and were attacked by them [delete]

it smells like the nights we spent together [delete]

one, two, three...I've lost count of how many drinks are for you [delete]

I wish you thought about me as much as I think of you [delete]

why are your words stuck in my head [delete]

I was naive and young, I'm sorry I actually thought you loved me [delete]

it's been months since the summer nights we spent together. please tell me you miss me. [delete]

my chest hurts. my heart aches. everything about you from the way your lips tasted to how I got chills down my spine from just one touch makes me want to explode [delete]

the blood running down my wrist contains the words you said but never meant [delete]
feeling broken is
looking at everything

you wish you could want
to do and realizing

you are not good
enough
My bones ache at 3am.
I glance at my phone,
Silently waiting for
The screen to illuminate.

I miss you,
But you'll never know.
I am at battle with myself.
Should I tell you or not?

You see,
To you, I'm just another
Friend.
But I say more.

Any sign from you
And I will crawl back
Into your gaze.
God, how I miss you.
I shouldn't drink this much

and I was so certain
I felt so sure

I thought you could see me
I thought you could actually understand

I felt you
I really did

You looked into my eyes and I looked
into
Y O U

I felt your heart

I saw your dreams

your aspirations

And there is nothing

not a thing

I want more,
than the privilege of your smile

the charity of your time

I was so sure
so convinced

and here I am near tears
completely unable
to forgive myself

here I am
here I am
and you are so
far away

here I am
hear me
listen

I've ruined myself

i'm rubble for you, dear

my eyes burn
A life spurned

I will never be the same

never again, never again

Despite the effort,
&
attention

Alleyways &the;
Obscure,
you're as close to home as ever

but
a miscommunication
is all I'll ever be
there is something about the way the trees dance in the wind and how that exact same breeze grazes your skin, makes you shiver, causing you to crawl under your blankets to warm you at night and to shield you from everything bad. there is something miraculously wonderful and beautiful about that. you listen to your favourite bands but they can't seem to explain why this is happening, and yet we are all just stars in a galaxy and once the light dies out no one will flinch except the hearts that we have touched the most and i guess thats why hearts will oddly skip a beat at 4am on a saturday morning. lungs will die out; skin deteriorating but thats okay because i'm sure there is something beyond what our eyes can see. like when people make bucket lists when really they are subliminally planning out near-by life goals. and unfinished novel is processed so you can pick up the pen one day and write again. write until your hand starts bleeding, your heart stops beating. funny how people always complain about the noises cars create and they never stop to hear the sound of trees, brushing leaf against leaf in a summer breeze. there is nothing poetic about a messy room although i wish it could be- i would use it as a metaphor to show that my life is changing slowly. new rims on cars, new boys, new city lights to gaze upon, 12 am walks by yourself with lonely cigarettes and empty words lost in a fire raging society of *** and abuse but i can't seem to put my finger on who. fake tattoos and dark purple bruises. quiet nights yet you feel like the walls caving in. extreme voices in your head. disorders are not poetic but if it brings true awareness i hope one day it will be. do not mask your scars, instead count them. eventually you will die and old soul and smiling child and your stars the remain will continue to shine on for you.

-next i will count the planets

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