Pain, Hurt, & Aches - Hello Poetry

Dec 2014

Girl On The Wing

When I see you
Instincts kick in
My anxiety pulls at my stomach
And I feel my body
Put everything it has
Into a wall to keep you out.
I learned from last time:
Love is not good, love will just break you.

So I keep it out.

Throwing and hurling cemet and bricks
Constantly building and repairing
stay out
Keep them out and you can't get hurt

But you,
You are patient.
You bring your chisel and with every word
You slowly put cracks into my walls
I can't keep you out and it scares me
You knew about the walls and understood
Still you waited
Chisel in hand
And you break them

Maybe soon I will break them with you
And let you in

If only I had found you before. I wouldn't wa to keep you out so badly

Dec 2014

WickedHope

I Wish *I* Could Show You The World...

I'm sorry
You ought to know

I'm sorry
I love you
I'm sorry
She hurt you

I'm sorry
I can't undo either

Rhymes With Purple's name doesn't really rhyme with purple.

#love #heartbreak #imsorry

Dec 2014

Davin Jane Andrews

****

warthogs for men singing amen
i ink my scars with a ball point pen
buffalo grass and ******
they want *** but won't die
i want *** but it's not me
they tell me that I'm pretty

i smoke **** in a blazing forest
i feel as rubbery as a curious tourist
and plenty of coke goes in my nose
i bleed headaches, when it rains it snows
i'm dreaming of a white christmas, i suppose
with my squad when i don't want to feel alone

i make lies but can't hide like room raiders
i cut up coke for all my haters
with a side of oxy
tells me that I'm foxy
right before he knocks me
my brain goes on high alert
i can ******* stomach
because cake was yesterday's desert

i say that we're proxies
i take the red pill
some like oxys
some like bikini ****
some nights aren't so chill
some brains are mentally ill
but he doesn't like to feel, y'feel

tell me if you want a
*** flavored banana
a broken heart from havana
or to drink my coke flavored blood
dragging me through the mud

whoops
son of sam
touch my **** like we're not fam
drug me if you want to slam
my head off the coffee table
i'll choke on fear until i'm not stable
i pretend i'm in a fable
this can't be real
does he not feel

break it off and shove it down my throat
cut me into pieces
make a blood moat
oak splinters suffered through winters in my spine
find you in jail and you ask if i'm fine

i break off rhymes like i break out grams
shaking because of a spiked promise
i wish i wasn't here
i wish i wasn't here

sham in the garden of clouds. when you '****' you want people around
when i cry, you hear no sound

buffalo grass and ******
they ******* but ask why
my box in their face
i don't want to be in this place

Dec 2014

WickedHope

Skin Me Alive, Dead It's No Fun

Why are my cells aching to be sliced?
Why are my hands itching to inflict?
Why am I trying to resist when I know it's useless?

"I'm addicted to bad decisions, I just can't help myself" (~Emery)
I really can't help myself.

#pain #bleed #poison #selfharm #cut #drivetheknifefurtherintomychestplease

Dec 2014

Morgan

Cry Wolf

After he died, I spent two and a half years in my bed. The doctors said I was depressed. I think I was just tired.
I rose out of that coffin of satin sheets with a lot of coffee and some diet pills. I didn't climb back in for six months. The doctors said I was an insomniac. I think I was just pensive.
I eventually fell back in with too much Lunesta and some cough syrup. I finally started having dreams again but I couldn't decievere them from my reality. The doctors said I had severe anxiety. I think I just had a good imagination.
I cut until my bones ached. They called me suicidal but I think I was just bored.
I drank until my insides began to drown. They called me an alcoholic but I think I was just thirsty.
I stopped eating until my ribs stuck out. They called me anorexic but I think I was just lazy.
I said I ******* loved you. I said I'd always miss you. I said I really needed you. You thought I was just messed up & confused. But I think I saw you holding the rope that could pull me out of rock bottom.

Well heyyyy, what I think
never really matters anyway.

Dec 2014

WickedHope

Climbing The Lattice

Get back!
Get back in your box!
You are the last thing I could handle,
I can't handle you, my hands are breaking.

Crawl back!
Crawl back into my nightmares!
Stay there, where I can control you,
And you can't reach out and touch me.

This is ****.

#broken #reality #frozen #nightmares #pretend #return #crawl #climb #startled #whyareyouhere

Dec 2014

Aquinas

Frankenstein's Monster

I have these parts that are missing
They are things I can't replace
I've been stripped of all my being and thrown into a world of waste

Reprogrammed to think my world is you
That the earth I walk on is blessed by you
The bonds I break are all for you
Loving you is all I do

I close my metallic eyes
Set in place by your hands
Laying on the carpet
With my back made of rubber bands
I cry too long and start to rust
Because I love you, you have my trust
It's why I became your killing machine
You don't love me, so it seems

#love #self #abuse #relationship #you #body #monster #machine

Dec 2014

Girl On The Wing

I saw you

I saw you
Walk in late
And sir down with her
I remember whem
She would have been me
I saw you

I saw you
Look over your shoulder at me
And whisper
I saw you

I saw you
At the end of the night
You took her by the hand
Ducked your head
Avoided my eyes and my thoughts
And left
I saw you

I thought you were gone
I thought I was free
But you were there
I saw you

#goaway #backagain

Dec 2014

WickedHope

Carpentry (10w)

"I'm tired of   br-
                                 ea-
                                            ki-
                                                       ng,

                               b
                               u
                               i
                               l
give me something to   d   for."

~ George ~

George and I are a strange person.

#10w

Dec 2014

CapsLock

To Feel Undone

As far as I can remember
it's always been the same.
Surrounded by clubs and members,
but alone always I remain.

I've had friends, I've had lovers
and laughter with my loved ones,
yet from this loneliness I can't recover.

It's not that complicated.
It hurts when you're alone,
but from people surrounded.
It makes me feel undone.

Song version:
https://soundcloud.com/wolflefler/to-feel-undone

by Wolf Lefler.

Dec 2014

oni

science vs. emotion

i learned
that my heart
is as large
as my fist,
but that
doesn't mean
that it is
as strong

#love #feelings #heart #strength #emotion #fist

Dec 2014

oni

infinite machine

and while time
does heal all wounds,
time does not
heal the scars

#life #time #healing #scars #wounds

Dec 2014

Tupelo

Morpheus

My eyes wide,
Drooling like a fiend,
over the very thing,
I vowed to forget,
Infatuated with the rush,
And the high I've been chasing,
In between dreams and reality,
Lies all my sinful pleasures,
These voices scratch at my skull,
Their words insistent,
Protect me from my faults,
And the corruption they bring

#sad #life #thoughts