I have come back
Wiser
Real
Full
Whole

I am no longer the me that existed before.
I am no longer the me that was hollow.

I am new.
It is so clear,
I am new

Sad day today for all people everywhere
take time for yourselves please
self care is warfare

open your eyes
to your own horrible nature

When you look at me
you don't see me
you never have.
You have always used me
as a blank slate
on which to paint
whichever picture
makes you feel better.

I have been
a friend
a love
a source of unconditional support
a fool who couldn't stop thinking about you
a jealous girl
a person uglier than you
someone who will always be there to smile
someone to deny
someone to better
someone to trivialize when you feel trivial.

But never
have I ever been
just me.

And now it's too late
for you to see the real me,
for I am now covered in your paint.

Hi
I like you a lot
I hope that's okay

Her why are you sad, you didn't like him anymore?"
Me *Its complicated okay?
Her *how? Tell me *

I don't know how to explain it.

Because I thought that he broke up with me just because it wasn't working, not because something better was on the horizon.
Because they're both  my friends and I feel like they didn't really care about me at all, only enough to keep it a secret. Lie behind my back.
Because, I feel like this whole time he just wanted to get in my pants and I moved too slow.