If cursing you
or crying rivers
or breaking pens and
pencils
or marring the sculpture
I had so lovingly made
of your face
or taking pills
or cutting skin
or drinking blood
or pinning eyes
or pinching shoulders
or pulling hair
or lashing legs
or inflicting pain
however
could erase the pain,

I would.

So struggle weary, I had forgotten how to fight
But now I smile as a stand above this battle site.
Because it was not me, sweetheart, it was you
And I have been rediscovered by someone new.

i still sleep on the left side of the bed although you're not there anymore

I stand on the promises made
To sin no longer am its slave
For me His all is all He gave

"In this I have to thank My Savior"

For me is why He came to die
For me is why He sacrificed
For a lowly sinner such as I

"So in this I have to thank My Savior"

As He hung upon that tree
All the while with thoughts of me
Him being my greatest need

"For in this I have to thank My Savior"

On the third day He arose
Drawing deaths sting to a close
All in Heaven rejoice for they know

"Why in this I have to thank My Savior"

In Him I fully put my trust
To follow no matter what the cost
For He has found what once was lost

**"And in this I have to thank My Savior"

To be honest
I don't know if I'll ever meet you
Fate's suppressing everytime
With its twist at the end
It's either the end or the beginning

She chose your name
Preluding to your birth
Waiting for the day
You come to this earth
We never stop talking about you
I'm just hoping you'll be her mirror
So your eyes will mesmerize
Every norm in disguised

I vow if you are mine
I'll be the best that I could ever be
I'll be your canopy
I'll be the light that shines through-
The glass that protects you
When life throws you knives
Know that I'll catch every single one
I'll miss one from time to time
But eventually as you'll grow older
You'll know why

I can't fathom
Seeing you for the first time
That cry will rupture
Every enmity in me
And when you open your eyes
That little spark will light
The void in my heart
I'll let you hold me as you clutched-
Your hands around my pinky

A promise sealed,
To never forget us
That our bond is eternity

Our love for you
Will be endearing
Our love for you
Will never be any less
Through the tussled waves of fate
Bounded by our neverending will
We will always keep you safe

Always remember E
As much as I love your mother
I will always love you the same.

It's midnight
and my tear stained cheeks
might as well be canyons
carved by rivers
and it takes all of me
to not want to
rip my beating heart out.

I was a caterpillar ,
before I became a butterfly .
The pain I had to endure in order to transform into the beauty I am today .
This is my tale .

In the forest there was,
My cocoon wrapped in the finest silk,
With a power to live in a colorful world.
To dream and conquer goals.
A Vivacious soul spinning in the purest silk
Growing and maturing as I spun.
Wishing for freedom with my beautiful wings,
Counting the days to be free and soar
as a lively butterfly
until
You winded into my community
Lured my queen and her uneven monarch.
Tempted to sabotage my purity.
For that you,
Lured yourself into my vulernable cocoon
with that trust,
you decided to disrupt my process.
How can one man ruin my nesting site?
And I had faith in you ,
to be a figure
I never had.
I wanted.
My heart ached for it.
I needed it.
To be loved .
To be nurtured.
To never be like those stray dogs
looking for a home.
This was the moment .
Where....
Innocence stripped, heart captured.
My Freedom gone.
You were naive to comprehend
On what you were doing...
You would stab my cocoon
with your sickening poison .
Over and over you stabbed .
Ruptured the veins of my innocence .
To break my finest silk .
Purity banished.
Stabbing your poison was
Making my cocoon
useless ,
worthless ,
unwanted,
colorless,
I tried to run and I tried to scream
but I was devoured by this poison
It was the love I deserve.
Couldn't escape , numb to the pain
For every poison injected, I began to
Question God?
Where was he ?
when I shed out a tear of help.
Where was he?
when my cocoon was destroyed.
Was I loved God?
when I muffled help in your name.
I hated myself ,
I stay in my cocoon
afraid to see my future.
I wasn't going to be a beautiful butterfly
Battered Butterfly
My life seemed to be colorless
No one wants a battered butterfly
My life....
It seemed it had ended
when poison sunk onto my helpless body .
No one wants a battered butterfly
Imprisoned to these chains.
Being poisoned every night by different
Predators.
Oh God....
Those predators ...
Battered lifeless little butterfly
Was I ever loved in my nesting site?
But then again nobody loves a battered butterfly
How can I reach to heaven when
I was worthless.
Believed I was a vile *****.
Tricked into a poison of hell.
Battered Ugly Butterfly
***** Little butterfly.
There was no light in tunnel
There was no holes in my silk
To escape this poisonous nest.
Why?
Because I believe nobody wants save a battered butterfly
How can the man I trusted ruined me.
I thought you could be the one to complete my lovely monarch .
To complete the missing piece.
But you continued to misuse me.
To haunt me.
To barricade my heart
To own my soul
But one thing I can truly say
You never once won over me.
You never imprinted my change.
I endured your pain
That was a sign of God
To show me what strength I am capable of.
That was the light that I found,
You had no control to inflict pain anymore.
Because I became impervious to your pain.


I am a beautiful butterfly
reigning over my monarch
with no thought of you.
**That is my freedom

I’ve tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
“you can’t wear red lipstick”
made me believe
I never wanted to in the first place.

for every time instead
I’ve stained my lips with cherries
learning how to tie the stems
so I can slip forget-me-knots
to the back of your throat—
do you feel my restriction now?

the razors that fly off my tongue
perk thorns on my skin,
another down stroke on my wrist
will teach me that
you were right,
shyness is a virtue.

no need to speak,
go spend one hundred dollars
and some percent for tax
to cover up,
even though I’m sure your mother told you
that cotton stains.

so make it black.
get your hair stuck
in the zipper of that sundress
and pray as you pull it out
that it will lose its pigmentation
in the process
mark a down stroke
for killing two flowers
for one bouquet.

hold it
close your eyes and throw it back,
I know we shouldn’t be wearing white anyway
but tradition can take a lot out of you
like what you really think—
don’t say **** in public.

instead drag your first impressions
all the way to the altar
and dress in your Sunday best
a flower on your lapel
clear on your lips
a stroke for the neat decline
of the son

I tattooed a line across
the veins of my wrist
and marked a down stroke
for every time
my image
was my fault.