I loved you because you were broken
my soul could look at yours and see home

every minute we spend together was like drowing in the ocean
I would sink deeper and deeper and eventually I would choke
but the darkness of the water never botherd me, I liked it
maybe because you were always there with me

in the morning I would look up and see the sunlight
coming through my window, the lights would touch my face
and every single morning when I would open my eyes
the first thing I always think of is you and how much I love you

I wish I could have you near me, like everyday
but we both know that never was a great idea
after a while we would remember how much we are a like
and I would hate you for being that way, you would hate me
maybe that is why you are my soulmate, why I love you

Im looking for parts of myself in the people I love
it gives me comfort knowing there are kids out there who are like me
a little bit mad, a little bit broken, but with golden hearts and voices

I always loved the idea of us being in love forever.

Why is it you love someone when they're gone?
Why do we keep repeating them in our heads, like a song?
Why are we always so late to realize?
Why are they the only dream we dream every night?
Why does it hurt when we've not been hit?
Why are we ill but still not sick?
Why do our hearts still race at their imaginary sounds?
Why do we keep going in circles, like on a merry-go-round?
And why do we still care when they cry?
Why are we still with them every time?
Why do we still keep falling?
Or why pretend they're still calling?
Why does it always rain on the sunniest day?
Why is it that not holding someone at our worst, makes us afraid?
Why do mornings feel the same as night?
Why do we forget such a thing called time?
Why does every little thing, reminds us of them?
Why do we shed fawning tears and sink into our beds?
Why do our breaths slow down and we feel like dying?
Why do we end up silent after the endless crying?
Yet why do we think of them and immediately smile?
Why do they still make us happy at desperate times?
Why do we still feel closer when they're far away?
Why do we still keep hoping, they'll come back one day?

Loving you was like jumping off the stool to hang yourself, just to find that once both feet are in the air, the rope has disappeared.

Yours was only a hand, delicate and gentle.
Mine was only a waist, never pampered by touch or love.
It was but a silly heart, pounding against my chest.
It was only a kiss, under the stars, in the pouring moonlight.

I'll wait for you forever
till stars forget to shine,
and oceans become puddles,
words no longer rhyme

Till deserts turn to gardens
where flowers go to bloom,
the grass is red, the skies are green,
the dawn brings out the moon

Till rain is something very dry
and butterflies drive trucks,
when every pond is chocolate sauce
with candy coated ducks

Till basements have a penthouse view
with windows three floors high
and stairways are a place to swim
no matter how you fly

Till mountains are a level path
that you will go to walk
and silence now becomes a way
for every one to talk

Till everything we've ever known
is gone and disappeared
The world does end, there's nothing more
just like we always feared

Till broken hearts are happy,
tears a welcome site
Night comes at the break of day
and daytime looks like night

I'll wait for you forever
until the end of time
It matters not how long it takes
if I can call you mine

I filled my bullet holes from the inside out
Concrete substitutions for flesh laid by a man of stone
So cold to the touch in the moonlight hours
I almost forget I was ever warm
Perforated to the core of my being
My initial rebuttal to the pain i felt was to harden myself
Teach myself to live with the cold
And look towards the solid shadows I then casted for inspiration to carry on
Fool myself into believing in the wholeness of a broken man
I lived as a creation of my own twisted and transformed imagination day in and day out
Dragging along the heavy weight a shield of hate brought with it
The problem being
Behind that shield I was protected fully from any outside source of grief
But I was trapped as well
A layer of thick rage and apathy deflecting any and all other emotion
A poison that constantly ate at what was left of me
Soon I became too weak to stand
The price you pay for being invincible against all other forces is that you can never stop yourself from dying on the inside
I had built a fortress to no avail
Because I had trapped the evil within myself
On my knees, my body rotting away
What was left of my flesh began to shrink back
The concrete was losing its grip the walls of skin that held them in retreating
The evil had won
Chunks of cement fell to the ground and crumbled
The agony indescribable
I was losing the last ounce of security I had left in this world
I was weak and the heaviness of the shield left when I could no longer hold it
I was defeated
I sat awaiting a death that in my mind was the only thing left assured to me
But it never came
Instead, I saw the sun rise over the horizon
I felt its warm rays on my disfigured flesh
And all around me was illuminated
In the light I saw how horrible what I had done to myself really was
At the price of living I had bought myself immortality
Nothing more than a cruel joke
Night never came again
And eventually I stood up
The light shone through my bullet holes as I did and the last of my disgust for the world was gone
I buried the shield and the crumbled stone deep in the darkness and never went back
Because no matter what may have been in my past, no matter how much blood I had shed, I knew that now I could live,

Truly

you told me you didn’t love me
I was too much of a friend
it was
and I quote you: weird
but,
how is my love anything but pure?
is it wrong that I see oceans in your eyes
and stars in your smile?
you may find blood on my palms and
broken glass in my eyelashes
but all the same I still feel for you
all your life you have felt for this
and these
and what
and who
and when
but me
            me
                 me
nothing
            nothing
                       never!
           I respect your bones like they are my own
           I would hold you like the sky holds its breath before the storm
           I could tie strings in the separated parts of your skin
     but

it’s too weird
my everything is ultimately your nothing