Blossoms growing
in earnest spring.
Leaves in meadows,
winds that sing.
Birds call out
with tranquil breath
as I lie still
in flowers of death.
In sunbathed glory,
creatures bask.
And I with them
without my mask.

The only place
where I can go,
be understood
for what I know
is here,
the place of broken dreams.
The graveyard
where you once met me.
You saw without
society's
disguise for ones
like you and me.
But you grew up
deprived of truth,
the one I found
while in my youth.

I handed you
a flower and smiled.
You said,
"Beautiful as always, child."
But you still couldn't
understand
why I stayed in
forsaken land.
You went your way
and I went mine.
You couldn't see
beauty divine.
You still cry every time
you come.
You know nothing
of what I've done.

There's nothing here,
so pass on by.
Ignore my life
until I die,
and then you'll say
those lies and thoughts.
"I loved you."
Yet, here I will rot
until that fateful
day draws near,
and you come home
to greet me here.
The people come
and speak their minds.
"You meant so much."
"You were so kind."

They talk from their
experience.
Wait some time
and forget your death.
The sadness you have
won't subside
from your regrets
before you died.
Feel the emptiness
fill your bones.
Then I will sit
by your gravestone
and say to you
the truth I know.
"I'm dead inside,
like you below."

To cry without hurting would be a blessing
To be heard without making a sound
Struggling to find the strength to stand
only to fall onto my knees
Lying prostrate on the ground
weeping silently

People look at me like how they gaze through a window
to see past the glass, forgetting it's there
I want them to acknowledge my existence
to see who I am, to know I am here
Shadows, faceless forms peer in with empty stares
looking in like the others before they disappear

I watch solemnly as life flies by
here for only a moment
The color of life dull in my eyes
Black and grey and white
The color drained from the environment
emotionless in my sight

A single light shines in from above
a white, flickering flame, so menial
A symbol of hope in this cage
I reach out to grab it
The fire looms above, somber, ethereal
a pure and holy spirit

Grains of sand fall through my fingers
time slipping away
I'm trapped in an hourglass constantly flipping
suffocating in secret
Hidden beneath the things others say
suffering from the torment

Tears turning to blood and blood to pitch bile
a frame holding broken glass
Drowning in the dust of ages
forsaken and alone
The cracks grow larger as shadows pass,
a black hole where a star once shone

I sit, frozen in time, forgotten but still here
darkness enshrouding me
Sinking into the ground, the glass finally shattered
Time slows to a halt
I scream, sobbing helplessly
everything is my fault

I draw the attention of glowing eyes
sand pouring out from the cavity
The hourglass runs empty, time continues onward
sand falling into nothingness
The shadows move along, ignoring me,
lost in the abyss

The crimson blood, the only color I see
staining the fire above me
Forever out of reach, the light dissipates
gone from this world of darkness
Absent from the world of grey, never to be seen
hope swallowed by sadness

Trying to stand a second time
inevitably falling
sobbing loudly in the dark
no sound coming out
Death has come to my calling
the only one to hear my shout

Time has run out for me
this living hell closing to an end
No longer trapped in the hourglass
Death has set me free
With no sand left to spend,
I'm finally released

A single raindrop falls from the sky,
depressed in its loneliness as it descends.
It lands and drips down a grassy *****,
alone and forgotten.

A single raindrop falls from the sky.
It falls from dark clouds and gloomy air.
It brings nothing but sadness to the earth below
and desires only to be heard or seen.

A single raindrop falls from the sky,
felt only by a stranger.
It's wiped away, declared a nuisance,
and cast away from existence.

A single raindrop falls from the sky,
mistaken for a tear.
Thought to be from an angel of a lost age.
It merely stirs the dust.

A hundred raindrops fall from the sky,
all lonely but together.
They cause a splash and demand attention.
Still only felt by one.

A hundred raindrops fall from the sky,
unable to quench the earth's thirst.
They disappear, taken by the ground,
embraced for the last time.

A hundred raindrops fall from the sky.
Not a head turns to notice them.
They cry out loudly but cannot be heard,
vanishing as they land.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky.
The clouds gather to watch the spectacle.
They grow darker as they bunch together,
warning those below of the coming.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky
and tap people on the shoulder.
"Come watch us," they whisper before leaving.
Few people are left behind.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky,
looking for an audience.
The people have left and taken their friends
to hide in the buildings they made.

A million raindrops fall from the sky,
and joyously, they sing.
They hit the ground, the cars, the roofs,
and make music for those in hiding.

A million raindrops fall from the sky.
They dance and cheer and smile.
The sun decides it wants to watch.
The light dances with raindrops for awhile.

A million raindrops fall from the sky,
accompanied by rays of gold.
They bring new color to the city of gray
and rejuvenate all of the old.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and makes art upon the ground.
It quenches the earth's thirst and hums in our ears,
dancing to its own sound.

A gentle rain falls from the sky.
People watch with awe from behind glass.
Ignored by many, precious to captivated few.
They long for it to last.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and gracefully sways in the breeze.
It brings forth calmness and a sense of peace.
It blesses the green fields and trees.

A gentle rain falls from the sky,
watched by a child with wonder.
It sends the breeze to lift the child
and brings them out from under.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and splashes on window panes.
It plays with the child and hums sweet tunes
as it makes puddles in the traffic lanes.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and ripples in the water.
A new world created, impossibly calm.
It makes the child an offer.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and whispers in the child's ear.
"Wait for me.  I will return.
I won't leave you alone here."

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and sings goodbye to the child.
The clouds dissipate as the sun takes over.
The departing rain simply smiles.

A million raindrops fall from the sky,
murmuring farewells and goodbyes.
Each gives the child a tender hug
as the color returns to the skies.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky,
then a hundred, then one.
The single raindrop kisses the child
standing alone in the sun.

No longer do raindrops fall from the sky,
but a child waits for them.
To dance and sing and draw and play,
with the gentle rain again.

All the lonely voices crying for help
their laughter chills my bones
the darkness has taken control
listening to their moans
they're afraid at times but otherwise brazen
you cannot see their face
they scream insults, phrases, and words
"you are a disgrace"
there are voices in my mind
impossible to silence
everything is invisible to my eyes
the voices act as tyrants
the blackout of my brain
became my reality
I ask myself questions the voices ask
"Is this really me?"
The light shines in, it hurts, it burns
the darkness inside me shrivels
I cry out in pain, the light is evil
I crumble to the ground and wither
The darkness returns, I feel at home
this is where I belong
I live here in this pitch black night
the light will soon be gone

You . . . you lied to me.
I didn’t know you wanted it so desperately.
Your hopeless desire to be free
Comes crashing down before your feet.
Now, I hope that you can see
All your delusions and conceit,
Your vanity, since you had never broken
A promise or secret spoken,
But now, please take this as a token
Of my shattered trust and heart dismayed.
By you, I have been betrayed.

My heart pounds slowly in my ears
As I think of all the fond memories I’ve had over the years.
I touch my face as my death nears,
But all that’s left is blood and tears.
And now, I’m faced with all my fears
And the scrutiny of all my peers.
Inside me, a rage awoken
By the abuse and insults spoken
Filled with such intense emotion!
They’ve never truly been afraid!
They don’t care how I’ve been betrayed!

I carried their burden and gave them protection.
So why, in return, have I lost their affection?
I stare at my opaque reflection
Asking myself this single question.
No one can achieve perfection,
But why must I suffer their rejection
Over and over with more voices combined
Than can be speculated by one mind?
Why am I alone and blind
With no help coming to my aid?
I lie still here, my conscience swayed.

I lie alone on the cold ground
Wishing hopelessly to be found,
Or to at least be rid of the sound
Of the darkness--weeping--all around.
With the status I am crowned
Comes dangers to which I am bound,
But by the honor to which I’m tethered--
However little, however weathered--
I won’t let a silly, feathered
Raven stop me and get in my way.
Yet, somehow, it led me astray.

It led me to you, a queer butch,
who longed for someone to love and touch,
And, as such,
I gave you my own hand to clutch
And let you use me as your crutch.
I never realized I hurt you so much
By forcing you to stay by my side.
I controlled and nullified
Your sense of judgment, worth, and pride.
But now all that I can say
Is, “Why have I been betrayed?”

You commit deeds without thinking.
You say strange things when going out drinking.
You ignore the chains around you, clinking,
Drowning you in your self-doubt, sinking.
You stare at the sun without blinking,
Blinding yourself from your world’s shrinking.
However did you fall so low?
But from the ashes, phoenix's grow,
No matter how painful and how slow.
You still confound me to this day,
But why, by you, have I been betrayed?

Your motive was to gain your liberty.
You want so badly to be free,
But I never owned you.  I only have me.
I depend solely on myself; wouldn’t you agree?
Or not because you couldn’t see.
You weren’t my slave by my decree.
A mysterious woman with lofty aspirations,
A raven in tow with never-ending patience,
And an elaborate configuration
Of this very time and day.
You’ve murdered me with a sullied blade.

No one’s free, that’s undoubtedly true.
For a fact, just look at you.
Locked in a maze you yourself drew
From cowardice, you stubborn shrew!
Watch with me the mournful sky, blue,
And the ebony raven departing, too.
You look at me with daggers for eyes,
Or what’s left of me as only a corpse lies.
I am left here listening to your cries
Of triumph and grief.  Why defile me in this way?
By you, I have been betrayed.

You’ve hit me with a fatal blow,
You and that oversized crow.
You relish in your success, though
Somehow, you faintly glow
Of sadness and you lose control
Of your emotions buried below.
You’re furious with what you have done,
Killing me, the only one
Who believed in you.  But it’s too late to run.
You cry to yourself, alone, afraid,
As the sins of my soul are being weighed.

You burned my home, my nerves are shaken.
My life and honor have been taken.
If you think you’re forgiven, you are mistaken.
As of now, my hatred has been strengthened.
My inner demons have awakened
As I have been forsaken
By the only one to show
Me love and cherish me, although
My faults are innumerable.  I want you to know…
I’ll never forget your betrayal.
You watch me bleed out, your face deathly pale.

You shout, frustrated, and break a sweat
Knowing you were forever in my debt.
You stumble on words and your own regret
While falling over my burnt chairs and ashen assets.
I whisper to you ghostly threats
And spectral visions make you upset
As you know I am someone who never
Forgets such an atrocious endeavor.
So, yes, you are in my debt forever
As now my trust has been decayed.
Your mind, my demons invade.

Your temper rises, your thoughts waver
As you think of how you can win back my favor.
Away from here, you’d be safer.
I don’t care anymore for revenge, now or later.
So leave here a life-taker,
A fool to stay as the perpetrator.
You may be a traitor but you have seen
The wrong of your actions obscene.
Therefore, I consider you clean
Of the crimes and lies you’ve made.
Slowly, away I fade.

Go!  Go now!  The night’s nigh over!
Soon the blazing sun will take over
And give everyone exposure
To the light, we need to come closer.
Take these words as your closure.
Think things through and be sure.
I no longer wish to conceal
My thoughts for you, bizarre and surreal.
I want you to know and feel
The warmth of the love for you I made.
No longer must you be afraid.

In the end, we all will die
So why do you sit there and cry
As the rain falls from a thunderous sky?
Let go and--like the raven--you too will fly.
Hurry to soar up on high
For I know the end is nigh.
Fly into the somber night.
Try your best to find the light.
Hold it close and hold it tight.
Perhaps others will follow my trail
As I have--not forgotten--but forgiven your betrayal.