You said you loved me
and I believed you
You said we can talk
Then took no notice of me.
You said you cared
I was convinced.

And I thought I could treat your pain
But it turned out to just be attention
and depravity
and manipulation
and deceit

Maybe I’m just naïve,
Because I trusted you.

It's funny when 4 walls start to feel like 6

if there is one thing
that meeting you
has taught me,
it's that love doesn't wait
for you to catch up.

Once windows, now bars.
Once doors, now gates.
Once media, now guards.

Once happy, now confused.
Once loved, now alone.
Once free, now trapped.

A prisoner in my own home.

Of all the seasons, summer
is timeless.
The summerblown cornfield,
windwaving sunbleached white gold,
is forever,
and the time of wild strawberries,
small and freely given,
is outside time.

Happy dreams too
are timeless.
On waking I am filled
with an oceangrey
mistgrey
cloudgrey
regret
that the dream was not reality.
Yet I am glad to have felt joy,
and the beauty overcomes the sadness,
as the sweet wild sound of the pibroch
transcends the lament
that gave it birth.

My release doesn’t lie
In the blood that stains
Your carpet,
Or the tears that soak into
Your pillow,
Or the screams that pierce
The still night calm,
Not even in the **** that
Snakes into my senses,


Wishing to melt into
Whatever I was before
Star light emanating from
Afar;


Old light pulsing from the new skies










(I want to see myself in that light
A time before I gave in to the night)

gone West  
went South
East street
Northern line

My mental health is like a rubber band.
If you pull it too far, it will get tight.
Until you pull it to hard.

You were

the one
              wish


    I wish I hadn't wasted.

As some dreams turn
           in to nightmares.