My light burned bright
Writhed, stunned, pierced the night
My fire was too much for him, he said
So he blew as hard as he could and left me for dead
But the smoke danced from within me and my resolution grew
The embers glowed, flowed and he knew
You cannot **** the heart determined to rise
No shadow may quench passion of that size
Perhaps she was a sunrise
Perhaps she was comparable to dawn
A new beginning, bursting with promise
And so much possibilities,
But she became what all days become
Full of duty and obligation and work
She became another thing to check off your list
But me, darling,
I shall be your night
Refreshing, calm, perhaps a bit disorienting
But so deep and dazzling
So wildly uninhibited
Drenched in silvery starlight
Far away from the prying, judgmental eyes of daylight
A safe haven to explore every fantasy locked away from the sun drenched world
Let me be your starlight
I shouldn’t have played the game
I didn’t think I’d fall in love for real
But now I’m being buried alive
And I honestly don’t even care
You’re a drug I can’t quit
And I don’t think I want to
I’d rather die from loving you to much
Than die from being without you
Heir of rejuvenation
Birthed through demise
Clothe yourself in jubilation
For you shall rise
It’s not that I haven’t made an honest attempt
To translate my heart to you.
I’ve tried. God, have I tried.
To get through to you
To connect with you
To hold onto some spark of hope
That one day it’ll click for you
And you’ll just get it, you’ll suddenly have an epiphany, a dazzling revelation
And you’ll understand who the hell I am
But the spark of hope continues burning in my grasp and the fire is never put out and it’s torture. Absolute torture.
To come to the stark realization that there are parts of me that must always be inaccessible to you.
Parts of me that must always remain untouched by you.
Though I’ve led you to them, grabbed your hands and attempted to apply them to those places I desperately wish for you to see and to feel and to have and to hold.
But there are some things that simply will never be.
There are some wishes that simply will never be granted.
And there are some of us doomed to be perpetually misunderstood.
You had an immense gravity
So strong I was ****** right in
But you’re no star, you’re a black hole
And there’s nothing for me here but destruction
I know I can’t have you
I know we can’t do this
But playing reruns of our “might be’s”
Is simultaneously the most euphoric past time
As well as the most self-mutilating