Visions of a backlit childhood
Of golden-haired halos and shadowed eyes
Slideshow in flashes of painful yesterdays
For those still unfamiliar
Longing to hold the child as he cries
Those tears cannot fall in confusion's void
And fear darkens all roads 'can be seen
Still here, in their nightmare,
Like it was my own
Is a truth told in smiles and jellybeans
Long since gone away

The outline of lips puckered in the bright pink hues of lust
The slow blink of a gaze that drinks in a vision
The gentle touch that ignites the fire
The air heated slowly with growing anticipation
The love that infuses a soul

You said my name upon a breeze
It whispered in my ear
With a sigh you told me
What I though I'd never hear
In time the world will come to see
That what is true is real
That nothing ventured, nothing gained
Regardless how we feel
For if there is no bravery
To subvert the status quo
Then, a blissful life remains
A blessing we shall never know

The most soothing warmth of the smoothest skin
The animal is sated deep within
We have both died in love's offering
With Heaven's kiss
Praying time does not begin
Eternal bliss

With the wisdom of the ancients
You speak in clues
Your depth, beyond comprehension
With a cracked smile
The distance peeks through the stars in your eyes
Souls united cannot be fooled
With weight enough to suffocate, you sigh
As my heart tries in vain
To lift you to the sun
I will hold you tightly
Space, nor distance, nor time
Can make us falter
Can make us doubt
You sigh, and my heart is heavy
I love you
And you smile....

The pain seeps out in flashes of insanity
I do not doubt you love me
Though I will always wonder why
In my shattered self-image
In my innate ability to be unseen
Was born an adolescent desire
A desperate need
A yen to be quenched of doubt
To be noticed
To be seen
Both within and without
In that longing to be alive
To be sure that I am a tangible being
In that way I push limits
I test boundaries like a child
Taxing the last nerve of an exhausted parent
Pushing hard until something breaks
Proving I matter enough
Or proving I can bend reality
Until I matter not
To anyone
For surely there is a reason I remain
Unseen
Unheard
Invisible
Intangible
Irrelevant
And Unnoticed
So I push when I'm hurt
Because you promised you won't leave
And I believe you
You said I meant everything I always wanted to mean to someone
And I believe you
You said you'd do anything and everything it takes to make me smile
And I believe you
The pain seeps out in flashes of insanity
I test boundaries like a child
Not because I doubt you
Because I need to always believe

In darkness I wait
For gentle hands to grace my skin
For warmth to freeze my fear

In darkness I wait
For dreams to spring forth from nightmares
For demons to be slayed by the keeper of souls

In darkness I wait
For joy to outgrow pain
For life to feel like the love, for which, I am parched

In darkness I wait
For the wishing star to illuminate hope
For the moon to light the way home

In the darkness I wait
In fear of the possibility of never
In fear of the possibility of always

In the darkness I wait
For gentle hands to grace my skin
For the sun to wake me in a dream

In the darkness I wait...


...*For you