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nurul Nov 2014
She lived in that white mansion
Up up on the tar hill
All her life she was wrapped in it
Look closely to find her
Between Christmas trees and patio
Spinning under them wishing so hard
She was a fairy and prayed for a wing
Late evening, she creeped under
this tree she doesn't even know
the name of it
Molding foods out of sands
Driving in a plastic car with her feet
Accidentally her right foot was under the car tyre
But kept trying to drive past this root from this big tree
Crossing over drains so gracefully

She told me the good times
When people praised
That she could write her own name on a markerboard
Or when people said she was pretty
In scarves even though
She looked like hell
She told me it reminds her
Of Fleet Foxes 'White Winter Hymnal' lyrics
With scarves of red tied around their throats
To keep their little heads
From falling in the snow

Her scarves was all red too with ribbons pinned on it
That she regret losing it now

Right back when she could wear dresses
Without remarks from her mom
That it felt good when people don't talk
About her hair that is bad everyday
Chocolates were shared without even a thought that she did not want it
Turtles can be kept because there
Were still aquariums
But they went missing the next day
Just like her hamster named Michael
Also this cat she left at a fish market a few time
But got back home like there's a GPS, itinerary and atlas all in its head

When her dad had to work until daylight
She will have to sleep upstairs with mum
In that little space there are microphones of which
She sang songs that find ways until 3 lanes behind her house
She hated the smell of the sofas
She wasn't afraid of heights but
Everytime she looked outside the windows she just get the chills
At nights engines revving on roads
Passing by frightened her so much

Once a burglar got into the room
Where her aunt sleeps in
When dad was working she slept to the room next to her aunt
At 4:00 she heard a distant cry
Up to this day, she doesn't like
The holes on the bathroom walls
She said she could feel someone
Watching
And still there's this trail of size 7
On the white wall under the window
Images of a flower *** moved to the front door
To stop us from running away,
that *******

Now she is out of her own
Beautiful tragic cage
Now she can be found beside this road
Her last step out of the black gates was no tears
I can still feel the echoes from the pictures of her mansion
Like a phantom limb hanging
The air that surround the mansion now
Is straight out of hell
The fog like a poltergeist in her head
Making sounds and moving things
Oiling cogs in my head
And sow the longing deep underneath
To come back in summer and search for her red scarves
Suddenly I am reminded of where I came from.
nurul Nov 2014
I hide my dreams in the space between
the cover of a book and the spine of it

I pace underneath beds with a pulse
and I can tell you, my blanket is
clean of dust from the bookshelf

I lie back to try change the anchor
of two on the edges of my lips
into balloons that float

I am not really good at promises:
as I hold up the roofs for you
as I said I would
Earth shifted and I let it fall
and for me to get a grip just so
I won't fall

I slip in between gates of your houses
Seated between beds and bathroom
Spinning around on the couch in front of TVs
Tried to write something nice of myself but a few flaws had interrupted and it's okay.
nurul Nov 2014
A week and a half, a year before ship sails
Azalea path was already paved
Soon I found someone in the same state of mind as me
All insane of astrology, all insane of metaphors

There's this delirium episode going inside of me that made me
slash what carried me far to see if I could survive worse
even tried the continuum oblivion
till I dare my hands to drive me in to an atom collision

There are times when it wasn't all about wars
I spent it combusting to few places
When and where snow is an empire usurped by crippled leaves in the fall.
Fall, fall, fall
It was him who falls and leaves.

One night, or one day, I don't quite care
but that is when I got away
I ran with flames not yet ignited
I barricade the commotion out with flimsy threads, all I can think
Didn't even thought threads spread flames (if it's ignited)
(Well now it's ignited)
And someone caught up in it

I can still hear him even now
That's the end of my life
The rest is posthumous

talking me up
nurul Nov 2014
Zeal
Where things started out. Talks they were small ones. Names and such.

Zest
Laughs are only here when you are near and smiles are aftertaste from the sip of your jokes.

Zodiac
We both don't believe in either horoscope or astrology but I asked what's your sign and I didn't tell you mine. Your curiosity drove you to ask me mine.

Zany
We put up the ugliest part of us on display and tell that we are okay with each other making acquintance with it. In the same time, making ourselves at home. Nothing to hide.

Zone
Oops, didn't we saw the warning signs?

Zoo
All the adventures I tried to drag you in but you refused.

Zigzag
We took the wrong road. I saw trees like ghosts. I hear sounds and it's getting steeper. We ran with pitch black vision out of all these.

Zip code
I wanted to say sorry and I'm not good at talks so I wrote for you and put it into an envelope. There were never stamps.

Zoom
The feelings. It went away like wind I felt when your car zoomed past me on that Friday night.

Zap
And I'm out of this game.

Zero


Z**
Our tale is the length of the Z's in the dictionary. An allegory.
Got an inspiration from the book 'Lover's Dictionary' by David Levithan. Credit to the dictionary on my shelf from ages ago.
nurul Nov 2014
To the writer that I read out of pity

I have your name etched in my browser bookmark
In my head still there's pieces of I Couldn't Help It
how I don't quite get it on the first glance from the windows of a ******'s life
now, in hindsight, still
my favourite of all
I creep almost constantly on your writings
clinging to the lights you reflected onto my life.
You were my very first visit to this site
You are the path of how I'm here.

I thank you
I thank you, Santa Moon Humor Leah Rost.
Green-eyed writer, too.
nurul Dec 2014
There're footprints trailing down
To      the    Earth   core     inside
Some   heading   up   the  h i l ls
I n v i s i b l e                   o n e s
lying  around in the atmosphere
and     stuck    inbetween     seas
Now,  I tell  you they're all mine

Darkness   on the  edge of  town
Tangling  with  sand   on  seaside
All   o f   them   glow   and  thrill
Just  a  bit   b e t t e r   than  Sun
When  you feel funeral  my dear
Follow   my    trails   don't   miss
Find  Heaven  by   all   the  signs

Be   afraid    of    those   hounds
This  is   just where  they  reside
Living  with  rots  of  their   kills
Ready                  to              run
But don't worry, don't show fear
Never      do      they            hiss
Just  running          in          lines
Hey! I miss this place sorry I wasn't on most of the time I got things to sort out for those back to school things. Hope everyone had some nice times :)
nurul Nov 2014
We're reeling through the alleyway
The two faces guessing where people going
Like charade on their feet
Trembling hands intertwined
trying to keep up with four shaking knees
Two eyes crying in the rain
Staggering home
Collapsing dim lit lights
Breathing in all the sobs
I swear it wasn't supposed to be a sad poem. But it turned out to be so. Anyway Happy Anniversary to me and Sabrina's friendship. We're progressing woah :)
nurul Nov 2014
We sat in front of that computer screen
arguing whether we should type in Comic Sans or Times New Roman,
ended up in laughs
ended up decoding Webdings cussing
I typed in for you and vice versa
I haven't seen you in years but I still remember when I was 9 and couldn't quite stop from giving you pencils.
nurul Nov 2014
Up and die he goes
Left for the sea in her eyes
He has it in his
but he never did realize
We never saw sea again
For he was shipwrecked and never got out
nurul Nov 2014
While we walk under sheets of rain
No words hanging between us
Do not think this is serene
Every drip hit and crack detritus

While we walk under shades of hemlocks
Capsized in escaping rays
Never step on droughts
They don't belong in the phrase

While we say this gonna last
But do not even try
Never let tears fall onto grass
You know why we don't take up fights

While we're stuck in blank
I promised you won't slip
And I went down in a bang
Just before a deer could leap
He is. He is.
nurul Nov 2014
Lies sprout on the edge of your lips
You do not know much, not much
But please don't feel what you feel
And
it's okay that they don't understand,
I tell you.

I am  very sorry I got you in trouble,
that I didn't get you out of anything.
Is this your own twisted way of saying goodbye
Or you're finding words to make me stay
that came out all wrong?

I see it's gonna end in misery
When you realize things you're not supposed to

You get that feeling in your stomach?
They are butterflies
with fire on their wings
yes, I set them on fire
When you claimed I'm the oxygen you breath in
Still it never crossed your mind
To leave me

— The End —