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The quiet whispers of the soul
resound complacently throughout
the echoes of time
haunting our fractured minds
Calling us away
to places of darkness
that hurt and scar
My eyes glisten and sparkle
with the unforeseen knowledge of time and place

I love him I love him I love him...

But this whispering grips my heart
and keeps me still
with the pain of breathing in
and the terror of speech
Unchecked speech
Scared speech
Bleeding speech
-.-.-
Please, remember the echoes
Those that are complacently designed
By the simpering vanities
of a domesticated world
rarely find the peace of mind
of which we all strive
because their materialistic
beliefs constrain them
in pools of normality
Drowning them in the pressures of society
and hanging them out to dry
in downloaded photos
that never fade
our lives are all dictated
by the subconscious influence
of one another
thus our souls
are irrefutably intertwined
locked together in endless struggle
mind against mind.
Falling slowly,
hands held tightly
spinning spinning
round and round

Easy turning
whirling, yearning
please don't let
me down

Quickly hiding,
worlds colliding
I can not
confess

Driving sweetly
incompletely
I am under
duress
Thoughts swerve by
like lost leaves
scattered in wind
         -.-.-
I wish I could hold on
to the words
that echo in my mind
He was life
Vibrant, Vivacious, and full
talking miles per minute,craving human contact
The very essence of the human spirit  
bubbled around him like a clear mountain spring
When he was little people would ask him
what he wanted to be when he grew up,
And he would say
“Alive”
And they would laugh because they didn’t understand

He was color
Every shade, every hue, every connotation
On bright days he was sunshine yellow, and petal pink
On dark days he was midnight blue
and the green of deep still water
Yet no matter the day,
He was always fire
orange and red and crackling and quick

He was sound
Loud and boisterous
All the notes and frequencies wrapped around him
Loving him, protecting him,
keeping him safe
And that is why everyone thought that if he were to fall
it would be kicking and screaming
Loud and conspicuous

But when he fell
He went, so quietly and softly  
that no one seemed to notice
And he tumbled down
with no safety net to catch
no helping hand to guide

Because they had forgotten to tell him
That rainbows, while beautiful, are often misunderstood
And busy guardians make absent ones
And others come when you are too old to forgive
And sometimes
growing up alone is hard

So colors turned to grey
Sound became muted
Life lost it's vibrancy
And fire ran, unchecked and unrefined

But darling I promise,
even fire can learn acceptance
Even fire can learn to love itself
Because stars are made of fire
And they are what brings light to darkness
A perfect combination
of midnight blue, sunshine yellow,
And fire
I want to be tragically beautiful
I want to whisper delicate fancies
in the ear of the unknown
I want to sit in pools of serenity
while the world passes unthinkingly by
I want to breath in the flame of passion
and exhale pure intellectual thought
I want to steep myself in contemplation
articulating the terrible complexity of humanity
I want to sit in a coffee shop
allowing the distinct sent to engulf me in comforting familiarity
I want to wrap my arms around the wounded
and shed magnificent tears of sorrow
I want to soak in scenery
taking in the exquisiteness that embodies nature
I want to smile radiantly
yet mistakenly allow sadness to show in my eyes
for I am so terribly alone
and yet so interestingly picturesque
But I’ll remain in delicate transit
until that day that I succeed in capturing
the dignity of tragedy
while relinquishing
the nightmare of beauty
I Don't belong here.
In this castle built with lies
stranded at the tallest tower
with nowhere to run
and everywhere to hide

I don't belong here
in this house of plaited gold
looking grand and innocent
the mocking oxymoron, masking
the nightmare that lay behind

I don't belong here
in this forced dream of fancy
in this perfect american family
that choked me into a whisper
complete with silent feet
and empty words

I don't belong here
stuck behind a wooden door
I closed myself
locked from the outside
with bolts of judgement
that my cowardice
won’t allow me to break

I don't belong here

So I lean my back against the gold,
and the stone and the wood
shut my eyes as tight as I could
and fought the instinct of flight
then I wished and wished with all my might
to live in the rose colored cliche
and wake to a golden carriage
with a price knocking at my door
ready to whisk me away
because I don't belong here
I’ve never belonged here
standing in plaited gold.
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