You hate me, do you not?
Sickness you breathe into me
Political wars you form
I see that smile of glee
I know you hate me world
I don't know if God knows it
But sickness was always here
I hate me, do you not?

I am ensnared by you
My lungs burn
My eyes clouded
My struggling stops
Your love is like a thorn
Pricking my skin
As I bleed I give you a band-aid
I speak what I notice
You have no will to change
Your stuck in a storm
I try to pull you out
But you choose to throw yourself back in
I know you can change
I know you can get better
I'm too tired, I have my own wounds
I have to save myself before I help you
But how can I leave?
I know you'll only spiral down more
but what about me?
Who do I put first?

I wonder do we ever know who we are because it seems to me everyone is searching for more.

They try to grasp at more of themselves discovering as they discover the world.

Spending time with freinds discovering more about one another.

I'm in the same boat looking into the mirror questioning myself to search for more within.

What lies beneath this skin?

Childish innocence broken
I cut my finger on the glass

When it's broken
you see past yourself

It's okay I am outspoken
my voice I won't pass

Speak to the heartbroken
another snake in the grass

Empathy unbroken
new history for the bookshelf

Cold nights are my bittersweet song
It's where I feel as if I belong
It's where I no longer need to be strong
It's when I can cry, scream and curse the wind
The night is mine as I stay in it for so long

Moonlight light's up my bittersweet song
The paper says I do not belong
The paper says I am not strong
The paper is now gone
The night is mine as I stay in it for so long

The night rain has washed it away
The puddles wet my feet washing the mud away
The puddles soak my clothes ******* the warmth away
The puddles shine the moon back making my frown go away

Fire burns bright and warm
It’s orange hue casted across the earth
Warming the day and resting on her face

A shadow casted behind; the shape her perfect form
In that dark a mother brings life in birth
Her coolness brings peace and grace

Soon she will leave again
Even now the space is too much
I long to trace her face with my fingers
But because I give life, I can also bring death

You I can never hold
You I can never kiss
You I may destroy
So, watch from here I must
You I impossibly love

The snow is falling
Lights Shining
All the colors so bright
Smell of peppermint candy canes
And warm hot chocolate
But all I need is the warmth of family
Who needs the Christmas light?
Or gifts under a green tree
When we have us here
Together
Family forever
We shall remain together

I’m 10 feet down
All day, all night
But I’m rising up
Dirt is filling my eye
Pressing all around
I’m clawing and fighting
My fire shall never die
You could make me blind
You can make me all alone
You can **** my hope
But I won’t let you win
You win when I step off that bridge
You win when I stop fighting
So, let me make it known
You can cope
You do have hope
You aren’t alone
Reach out
Forget your fear
Forget your doubt

Movies last a few hours
My memory shall last forever

I am slowly dissolving into the water
my hair soaks up the cool freshness
my tears fall onto the clear mirror
ripples and small tides follow

I let myself sink deeper as skin becomes hotter
my body soaks in the cool freshness
my tears rise into the clear skies
the clouds come colored in grey hollow

I rise to the skies into stormy clouds
my body dissolves into tiny droplets
my tears fall onto the shaded world
the water again begins to pool

When sun comes so do the crowds
their bodies cool in the freshwater
their smiles shine in the bright light
and I forget how life can be so cruel

I am searching, I am seething
I am looking for the answers to why
"Bad things just happen to good people"
"This will make you stronger"
I know this might sound like a lie
but it didn't make me stronger
I'm just a kid

I was supposed to be protected
Milk was supposed to make me stronger
None of it was true for me
My trauma hiders my life
My body has been getting weaker
I'm just a kid

Now I am always affected
I won't push myself to break any longer
None of your opinions chain me
My trauma is mine to deal with
My body is mine to grow to love
And I'm just a kid

I am searching, I am seething
I am shouting the answers to why
Bad things happened and I can't be like you
I have made myself stronger
Hear me, my life is not a lie
I deserve to live a good life
I am not just a child

The past impacts
our future
and
our future
will be our past.

I bought a barbie doll yesterday
She looked so pretty
I've stared from afar wishing to rewind
to go back to innocent play
I cast aside my dolls to early
Oh, what if kids were more kind?
Would I have kept my dolls that day?

To   D
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           S
             T
               R
                O
                  Y
                          Is to C
                                   R
                                   E
                                   A
                                   T
                                   E

My thirst grows as the cup flows
If I drink
My lips will turn red as a rose
If I drink
My thirst will not learn to slow
So I bite my tongue
and I say
"keep me safe, keep me safe"

I've seen people know wrong
yet they are gray and cold
They turn blind eyes
Letting wrong go along
Their excuse for it all,
"It is what it is. I can't change it"
Kids watch and learn to get old
doing nothing to help change the world
"what can you do"
I can speak against it, I can shine a light
It can’t stay in the dark as something we mutter under our breath
The moment we accept it as something unchangeable
Is the moment it becomes unchangeable

I feel the fire spread
It eats my body inside
I feel my shell bleed

You said friends
I said lovers
You said chance
I said lovers
You said lovers

I said romance
You said passion
I said hugs
You said skin

You said friends
I said friends
Then you left
and I said LIAR

Desperation
it changes you
Frustration
it forces you
Damnation
I refuse
Foundation
I choose
*******
for making me
Desperate
Frustrated
and ******
I'll make my own way
out of this hell
without you