I remember when we used to say "I love you"

There's a million ways to love a soul.
And I'm done holding back, just so you know.

Because I love so many people in this day to day life.
I can't hold it back, just to be someone's wife.

There's the way I love you.
I want to have our home.
I want to go on adventures.
Never leave you alone.
Make silly faces.
Caress your hair.
Make goofy videos.
Cuddle our pets.
Maybe a baby...
Fancy that.

There's the way I love you.
Always messages a few a times a year.
Happy birthday. Merry Christmas.
How are you my dear?
How is the wife? How are the babies?
I found your letter.
Man, we were crazy.

There's the way I love you.
You taught me so much.
A better way to think.
A better way to touch.
How important it is to value myself.
And how to let go.
That's why I love you so.

And there's the way I love you.
The unapologetic ways.
In which you take my hand
But make everyone the same.
The way you say,
"I just want to see you"
And even though it's temporary,
You make time seem brand new.

There are too many ways to love a person.
How you can be so sure what is real?
Which one is forever?
Which one would should we feel?

But I wouldn't be me, with out all of this painful action.

I want a world that's not afraid to love.

. . .

just,
never
yours.

~-~-~

Promise after promise
Fell into my head
I carried them with me,
I took them to bed

So hopeful, I waited;
To hold your forever
Intentions negated
This jaded endeavor

Yet, lies soon took shape
And doubt would take hold
Your dormant coercion
Cementing the mold.

You never came through
You never came back
The woodchips, they faded
The bracelets, I lacked

Trapped under my instincts
My innocence, vanished
The moon was relinquished
My purity, famished

Young as I was
I’ll never forget
The impact you left me;
Your stark epithet. . .

You took something good,
You found something pure
My will cut in half
Rose white, and demure.


The root of my psyche
You’ve yet to discern,
Who plundered my childhood;
My chastity, burned.

Existence forgotten;
Defined from within
I’ll never evade you
You’re etched in my skin.

Scar after scar
Fell into my arm
Your ink swam my bloodstream
Your slander, your charm

I swindled the rabbit
And powdered my nose
Freefalling in choices
Defining your prose.

With tasty white pills,
A hand in my throat
A liver that’s grilled;
The bible I quote.

With no one on earth
To save me from me
I sampled the bottle
From under our tree.

I cannot begin
Nor pretend to describe
What happened to Maple,
Who am I inside?

The loneliest girl
In the entire world
The events I’d mistaken
The chastity; hurled


All that I know
And all that I think;
Is this monster within me
Was born in a blink

But who’d tune in now?
The opinions are set.
My mind is jay walking
The lines of regret.

The holes in my person
The doubt I can’t sever;
My husk of normalcy
Braving the weather. . .

For what you don’t know
Is what you can’t nurse
Assumptions you draw
Are making me worse.

Conclusions concocted
Your story, enhanced
My path interrupted
Dismissed by a glance.

So I’ll say goodbye;
There’s no seeds to sew
For this is my truth. . .
Confession bestowed.

Still treading his words
That flood to the brink;
Harassed, used, and left
In less than a BLINK.

I traveled down that pathway
I leveled my demise
My nose was an express train
Aiming for the skies. . .

I headed towards the house of crust
I swallowed all that white
Disguised within a golden husk
I crumbled with delight

I lay the rabbit on the spot
I crushed it with my rock
Up the hole, into the brain
The rabbit goes to flock

I chase it deep within my mind
I’d play with it forever
It snakes and weaves around the line
My smile, the true endeavor.