My heart
Is a happy drunk
A little too open
A little too optimistic
It's over in the corner of the bar
Playing poker
Screaming at the top of it's lungs
I'M ALL IN
When it's never
To this day
Had a winning hand

My heart
Is a sad drunk
A little too lonely
A little too caught up in tears
It's over at the counter
Forcing the bartender to take its keys
Because it would rather not go home
Than go home alone again

My heart
Is a reckless drunk
A little too unbalanced
A little too impaired
It's over by the door
Making everyone nervous
A little too good at scaring people away
A little too far gone

Like you
A little too far gone
Turn your head
Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice
The breakdown of a heart
Too drunk on feelings
To know when to stop

As soon as I reach out
For an extended hand
I pull back
And tell myself
"I'm fine".

I don't want there to be a day where I have to read a speech at my best friend's funeral because she commited suicide.

I don't want to have to say how cruel and horrid the world is to destroy such an amazing and innocent person.

I don't want to watch her happiness wipe away from her face as sadness and darkness plagues her heart.

I don't wanna get that call in the middle of the night telling me my friend is gone.

I don't want to dream of her smiling, to wake up to a dying soul.
But a dream is only a dream..

I don't want to be watched by a ghost of a friend who didn't want to live.

But, it's happening. People will keep being cruel to the most loving people, until they no longer want to be in this hell.

I don't want to watch a friend die.

Please don't make me.

she had been
stabbing herself
with her own knife
until he took it from her

and right as she believed
that he was trying to help
he handed her a larger one
and said,
"here, try this one"