Bipolar....
Sometimes I am blue. Those are the days I bob under the waves and become pushed down into the deepest parts of the ocean.
Sometimes I feel orange. Mania hits me and I am in in the clouds jumping from wisp of fluff to the next. Other times I am in between. That is a place with no air no change. It's dull. I feel this way around people, majority of the time. One specific girl brings me out of the dullness. Sometimes around her I go down into the deepest parts of the ocean. My anxiety sky rockets up past the clouds. I am stuck at the bottom of the deepest part of the sea drowning in anxiety. It's because I'm too scared to walk up to her but I feel mean for not saying hi. Then when she says hi to me first I am pushed high up in the clouds. I feel the breeze, it's just the happiness flowing through me. My anxiety is beside me but I can watch it here. Therefore it isn't out of control. :)

He looked at me.
Who are you?
I stared back deep into his eyes searching for emotion.
Nobody knows do they?
He said I'm not a lesbian
I've never done IT with a guy so I don't know which way I bend.
I just want to slam him into a wall and punch him.
I want to knock him out cold.
I want to take out all my rage.
Instead I just continue to stare.
Then technically speaking your not a Hetero... You've never done it with a man...
His face turned red with rage... I am not like that. You are different being Herero is normal. I don't have to be with guys to find out I'm normal.
I smiled back... Well honey don't know what makes us different. Technically speaking again, it's homosapian not heterosapian. So... Anything to say now? That's what I thought...

Sometimes stuff is not gonna go the way you want.
Sometimes the world with explode under your feet.
Sometimes love will be just out of your grasp.
Sometimes people will be back stabbers.
Sometimes you'll bleed to death.
Sometimes you'll just have to sit there listening to angry music by Eminem to feel okay.
Sometimes you'll never be okay.
But that's okay.

This is how I feel...
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At the beginning of the week I had money in my drawer.
No there is no more.
Stupid young man.
Can't control his hands.
Needed to search my room.
Looked for the green bills.
******* now I'm broke.
This is very sad.
My brother robbed me.