And spit it out.

Like a *** of wet paper
Fired straight from a straw

I want to inhale it. Taste it. Swallow it.

Make it take shape in my chest; Douse the fires raging in the bowels of my being as they threaten to burn through, scalding my soft belly like embered iron.

Let me protect you.

I will eat up every last bit of sorrow you hold and endlessly fight for your worth.

Clutching my chest
I can’t breath
I can’t see
I can’t be
Me

Hands that eagerly grasped
Emptiness
Now clutch dirt beneath
Our feet
Because no one gave them
Something to hold

Feels like fear.

Depression
Is my peace.

Laughter
Helps me see.

Isolation
Is my relief.

The emotions I carry are too big for my vessel.
Twisting, no entwining with my veins.
Like vines engulfing trees they’re
Slowly choking me.

Colours mean less to me than
The racing winds of autumn.

But to feel nothing
While dried leaves cascade
From trees that have more stories
Than me or any building
And crunch
Under my worn leather boots
While rich, muddled scent of earth
Pours into my being- filling me
Up with feeling that wraps
Around the heart- tingling
Chest and head
And hair tendrils

But to feel nothing...

Is to find that the
Winds of autumn are
Starting to fade
But even if for a moment I felt them
Even for a moment...
Is all I need to keep searching for them again.

My thoughts
Paint brilliant colors,
But
Chemical venom
Swells my tongue
And silence
Fills my mouth.