There was a time I believed in you
more than I believed in myself
as I found a light
that I couldn't grasp on my own
and you chased after it with me
until the light burned out
in the both of us

I wait.
For a sign, for anything
10%.
Blankly, hopelessly
Waiting.
There's a certain sadness I feel growing
A loneliness, that can't be cured.
How little it takes but no one to give.
A mind so numb and blank
and so delicately damaged.

Everyday
I see you walking down the halls casually
and we look opposite directions
everyday
as you are walking down the hall I know where you are going
I've memorized your clases.
Everyday
I wonder what things would be like if you hadn't changed your mind
and I would run up to you and tell you how my day is going and laugh
Everyday
I see you with a different girl
and everyday
it never gets easier
and sometimes I forget how to walk.

Everyday
before school,
I think of what you would want me to wear
and what you would want me to say
and what you want me to do
but I never let myself let you win
because
Everyday
you have put me through misery

Some day you'll find a girl who didn't cut her bangs like I did when you told me not to.
She wont want piercings and hair dye and wont wear outcasting clothes that you didn't like either.
You'll be able to pick up a drink without her worrying, and you will spend you're night with your guys without any disturbance.
You won't have to deal with a down hearted gloomy girl who you questioned once you saw where she stood socially.
You'll find a girl who won't be considered artistic, but instead is the captain of sports teams.
Maybe she'll be smart too, you won't get angry with her because she tries hard and always gets an A. Maybe then it won't interfere with your relationship.
You'll **** her in all the ways we taught each other how, but it won't take long for you to forget the stories behind the lessons.
You'll touch her in all the right places because I showed you where.
You'll love her endlessly without the worry of hurting her damaged heart
and
She'll be able to take care of you in a way I never could.
Maybe she'll be better for you, and you're anxiety won't spike up.
She probably won't cut her thighs and stop eating when she's upset
and you wouldn't have to hide to people the reason why I've lost so much weight.
She'd be happy and delicate and your parents would love her.

But if there's one thing I know,
She will never ******* love you like I did.

You smiled at me as I laid my head on your chest
and for a split second I thought it was real

I live in the past which is why when he left I finally started living in him

I don't know why I try... I feel like a sunset - beautifully going down.

I feel lost at sea, drowning....dehydrated.... falling in the darkness and coldness sad and alone.

I don't care about sad song lyrics and advice, I just want you

But you would not love me like this, no one in their right mind would....so why do you have to be in your right mind?

Take me all and love me....or take me all and drown me

The love I felt
was it real?

I write until the pain goes away - away like your soul

wont you heal me?
come back. come back.

Im never satisfied and it ***** me over everytime

I hate you but im so in love with you

you are not worth this.

You're sad...
they think you want to hurt yourself.
You're angry....
they think you'll **** someone.
You're happy...
they think you're high.

Can you ******* win anymore?