My sweet boy
I recall your first step
First word
Your Smiles and cries
The excitement in which you viewed a fly
Such a precious little thing you were
And now you're dead
Laid on a pavement, shot in the head
Eyes wide open, staring at the sky
Perhaps for one last time, you're searching for that fly.

I crave a dance
Not a hug,
Not a kiss or a delicate touch
But a dance
A red dress and a gentleman to take my hand
On a shinning dancefloor
On a trip outside the dimensions of this world
Where flying needs no wings
Where music feels like the gentle wind
I'd swirl and swirl
With my red dress flowing like the petals of a rose
Carried by the swift breeze
Till it come back
To you

●●●
धुंवाँ धुंवाँ सा समा है हर ओर धुंद फैली है।
फ़िजा में तल्ख़ी है..शब से हवा कसैली है।।

ऊँचे रसूख़वान हैं.. दख़ल रखते हैं हुक़ूमत में।
सुना है शहर में..कुछ नये लोगों ने..पनाह ली हैं।।

शक्ल इन्सानों की कैफ़ियत है दरिंदों जैसी।
उनके उजले है लिब़ास.. रूह मगर मैली है।।

लुट गया कारवाँ.. सब निगहबान गाफ़िल हैं।
अज़ब सा मंज़र है .. अनबूझ सी पहेली है।।

किसी मासूम की दबी दबी सी सिसकी हैं।
सहमा हुआ सा आल़म सुनसान सी हवेली है।।

किसकी नज़र लगी है आराईश-ए-गुलशन को।
जिधर भी देखिये अब सिर्फ झाडियां कंटीली हैं।।

धुंवाँ धुंवाँ सा समा है...हर ओर धुंद फैली है।
फ़िजा में तल्ख़ी है....शब से हवा कसैली है।।
●●●
©deovrat 17.09.2018

रसूख़वान=resourceful
आराईश=Beauty
कैफ़ियत=nature

I’ve been a patient of pain far too long
And though pain has no home for me any longer
I’ve found that I just don’t know how to fully let go
Of all our memories
And moments
Of all the late night sessions of crying
It had me in
Of all the victories I claimed for embracing it
Bracing through the night with it
Of all the art we created
My longest term relationship
The most toxic person I dated
Probably heard I love you less
Than I hate it...
Though I can’t really hate it
Look at how far we made it
I promised myself when I got free from you
I wouldn’t look back
I wouldn’t even think about you
But here I am one last time
Dedicating a page to you
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to have a reason to heal
without you
How am I supposed to ever feel like I don’t need you
How am I supposed to create without you
How am I supposed to relate to other hurt people without you
What do I have left to say without you ...
How am I supposed to cry without you
How am I gone die without you ????

Dying love in a gilded cage,
Imprisoned by my pent up rage.
You never loved me, but neither did I,
The last gift you gave was the gift of goodbye.

Have you ever let down the walls,
And let someone into your soul?

Have you ever trusted someone,
Enough to give them a piece of you
Or
Maybe a whole?

Do you remember the bitter sting?
Do you remember the sickness that took hold?
Do you remember the emotional shock,
The shaking and the lack of control?

Do you remember the feelings of anger and regret,
coursing through every vein,
Do you remember the fear and terror,
Reducing you to nothing but shame?

I do.
I listened to your
denial,
I gave you a chance, I let you back in,
And I was branded with the
touch
of
your
betrayal.