All I could hear was silence
And then everything went transparent
Your eyes got me stranded
They're in pain, i can't stand it
You said you were being haunted
By the memories you never wanted
Every word you bled was perfect
Your imperfections has always been worth it

To me

I wish you could understand it
I'm here for you even if I'm unwanted
You doubted
You regretted
You were distracted
I get it
I'm always the least expected
And I know I'll never be wanted

By you

She's not made for this world
She deserves nothing but love
But she's already full of it—
She's gold-flowing!
Too soft to be touched,
Too fragile to be held,
And too transparent to be seen.
Her self-love is doubtful
Though she's overflowing with love,
She care too much
For the wrong people
Only if she could see
What she's made of
Only if I could make her see
What her worth is
She could devour her remorse and escape,
Runaway and save herself from this unworthy world
Even if it means not being with me

Sometimes, things may not go your way.
Sometimes, there aren't any options left.
Sometimes, all you feel is just pain.

However, there's always a way.
A way to try again.
A way to start where you stopped.
And a way to pick yourself up,
Brush yourself off,
And keep trying.

You must learn to crawl before you can walk.
You must learn to walk before you can run.
You must learn to fall before you can fly.

As the Sun never stops rising,
No one should ever stop trying.
Even if all you have left is hope,
Keep trying.
It is the only thing worth fighting for.
And that is reason enough to keep going.

Learn to try. Again.

Listening to loud music all the time

Nightmares every time you close your eyes

Talking even though no one is listening

Screaming without making a sound

Fake a smile, pretend to laugh

Slowly dying inside

Reaching a hand out for help

A hand full of scars, visible or not

Pushing your friends and family away

And befriend your inner demons instead

i'm tripping over shoelaces
and falling over beating hearts
while you are watching
with amused, worried eyes.
my fingers turn to ice
and i manage to mumble
"i like your hair" before
the world ends and
my shoelaces are strangling me.

I was drunk off the thought of you.
As I withered in the void you left in me,
I would find comfort in the thought of your hand in mine,
In the dreams of us sharing a last embrace,
Of your bliss melting in my mouth

In the kisses we would never share

Sleepless nights would be spent longing for your warmth
My arms longing to wrap around you waist
And my head spinning from a late night's crush

Why must you haunt me?
Why must I be addicted to the brush of your lips against mine,
The comfort of your kiss?

It's funny how, by trying to put myself together,
I flooded my heart with grief
And warped the world around me,
All from thinking of you

I hated loving you

Duwag ka pero salamat
Salamat dahil hindi mo ako hinayaang mahulog sa isang panandaliang saya
Hindi mo ko hinayaang mahulog sa isang panaginip lang
Sa mga matatamis na salita na hanggang salita lamang
Sa mga makahulugang tingin na hanggang tingin lang
Sa mga masasayang kwentuhan na hanggang ala-ala na lang
Mga salita, tingin at kwentuhan na hindi kayang ipadama ng mga yakap at haplos
Dahil duwag ka
Dahil andyan ka at andito ako
Pinagdugtong lang ng isang pisong tumatawid sa libo-libong distansyang mahirap sundan
Dahil hindi natin kayang tawirin dahil duwag ka...at duwag ako
Oo, duwag din ako
Duwag ako katulad mo
Nakakahilo ang pagitan nating di natin kayang bitawan ng pangakong baka balang-araw ay magdikit din ang daliri at mabatid kung may kuryente bang dadantay sa umaasam na puso...dahil duwag ka at duwag ako
Duwag tayong dalawang pumaroon sa espayong walang kasiguraduhan
Pero napakatapang nating hinarap ang katotohanang nakakabit sa dalawa nating mga paa
Na andyan ka at nandito ako
Malayong-malayo
Itong paang nagpipigil sa ating lumutang sa ligayang hatid ng mapangahas na damdamin;
Hatid ng masarap na pantasyang hawak ko ang mga pisngi mo o na malaya kong natititigan ang mga mata mo
Lagi tayong nakamulat at hindi kayang pumikit ng matagalan
Dahil duwag ka at duwag ako
At ito ay isang pekeng pangarap

there is a hole in my tooth
but there is bigger one in my soul.
i will lay my head against my pillow again
longing, pleading that every breathing
wouldn't expand the hole within me.
every joke i have to ***** out of me
every laugh i have to hurt my ribs to execute
every smile i have to crack my skin to present
because they are only there when you're happy.
my academics will yell at me for marking it so slow
but how can i listen to the lectures
when the voices inside my head are louder than my teacher?
each moment of my life
i am accompanied with a screaming will to live, asking for its life
and i will realize that i'm the only one who is killing it.
it is difficult to help yourself
when your own murderer is you.
i will hate every moment
when i have to be alone
because alone means silence
and i can hear them more
i tug my hair hoping that with every pulled follicle
will vanish the ghost that lives in me.
it is hard to feel okay with people
when it is programmed in your brain
that every person has their bad side
and you are its trigger.
my world has completely turned black & white
no grey, no hue, nothing in between.
and here comes another day of
right first before left,
closing your stomach before it inflates,
joining the hateful voices in your head
i am my own murderer
and i will not cry until i drown myself in the ocean of my own pain.