People get tired of you being sad, and then they leave, even when they promised they wouldn't.

Nobody texts, nobody calls.
Nobody cares until they've found out that my blood has been splattered on the wall.

Hey little one, won't you lift up your chin,
Put your monsters away and please let me in?
I won't break your heart. I wouldn't know where to begin,
Take your last breath and let me hear your sin.

Let your heart strings unfurl, and I'll bind them to mine,
And they'll beat a strange beat, as they now intertwine,
Close your eyes little one, I'll make everything fine,
For I am Death, and you are simply divine.

Shivering in the cold,
Rocking back and forth.
Knowing you won't come.

I've gotten used to this;
The darkness in my vision,
The sounds in my head.

The sleepless nights
And existential crises
Are now my friends.

This manic destruction
Is the only comfort
I could ever have.

Really, I get it.
Nobody wants to be here,
Not even you.

And that's okay.
I'll always have myself.

A loud explosion,
Followed by
Deadly silence.

Both sides still
Fuming, hurting,
Believing they are right.

Two worlds
Torn apart
By a few awful words.

Their child left alone
Crying in the dark,
Their love forever gone.

1:29 PM WAKING UP

1:35 PM INSPIRED

1:36 PM EXHAUSTED

1:39 PM EXCITED

1:45 PM EMPTY

1:47 PM ANXIOUS

1:52 PM NERVOUS

1:59 PM NOTHING

2:03 PM ASHAMED

2:04 PM TIRED

3:27 PM NOTHING

4:05 PM DISAPPOINTED

4:28 PM IRRITATED

6:08 PM SAD ???

6:33 PM BORED

8:16 PM AMUSED

9:48 PM NOTHING

1:45 AM TIRED

3:19 AM GOING TO SLEEP

I change like night and day
So don't get caught up in the moment
For It's just for a moment
I may ran away and hide, in the thick of the forest
But promise not to be alarmed
I'm fine all on my own
Promise you won't come out seeking for me
This is who I am
I'm a lone wolf
You got to understand
I need to recharge my soul
Stay clear off the noise
I'm a lone wolf
I thirst for freedom
Freedom to be alone sometimes
I'm a lone wolf
My spirit thrives on solitude
Without it I'll starve to death
But I'll be coming back
Back when my batteries are full again
Back when  my soul has gained back its mettle
Back when my mind, body and spirit are in one peace
©Sonia Ettyang

6th grade... we were friends
7th... we were best friends
I remember the day
We decided
How our lives were going to continue
together
inseparable
classmates thought we were twins
8th grade... we grew closer
I told you I needed you
I cried in front of you
I revealed my biggest secret
to you
and with your help
I came out
but then
you found others
and our circle grew
It was okay
for a while
but as you became extroverted
and popular
and liked
I became an outcast
I didn't realize it at the time
But it was so obvious
At the end of that year
I started to see
How you thought I was clingy
Messed up
A burden
You were my only friend
And you hated me
But you were too nice to let me know
The last day of school came
we promised we'd get together
but days came and passed
I never saw you
you never texted
9th grade has come
you don't even look at me like a friend
I had a panic attack today
in front of you
not intentionally
but I would have hoped you could have helped
and you just watched
as I burned from within
I knew for some time
but now its all to obvious
You never liked me
You never will
But really
you were all I had

Who’s going to save me
When I’m saving everyone else?
Who’s going to save me
When I cry myself to sleep at night?
Who’s going to save me
When I have a blade to my wrist?
Who’s going to save me
When the voices are screaming in my head?
The answer is nobody
While I’m out saving others,
Nobody is helping me.
I’m drowning
In the dark thoughts
Full of despair and darkness.
And with no one to help me,
I might as well succumb
To Death's sweet song.