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Ndanyanyukwa Oct 2020
Hold my heart because it might break. All this time I’ve been trying to avoid the pain so that when I have to deal with it I won’t shake. It’s the memories of all that was done wrong to me, the actions that I can’t unsee, the people who’ve become history to me and the words that were said to me. It’s said and done, yet  I can’t seem to find peace with any of it. I tried to run from it all but she still manages to find me or maybe we’re just vibrating on the same frequency. I no longer know where to start because every time I’ve tried to tap into it, I’ve  fallen apart.Life gets depressing, my emotions start naturally confessing, the ***** face also start resting...consistently, because it has forgotten that every good memory in my mind should be refreshing and now when I look back at all the little bits of good and fun that was had, my heart can’t comprehend any of that so the next best thing is to be sad.
Ndanyanyukwa Dec 2019
To be living and not feeling alive is probably the biggest crime I've been living.
Forget sinning.
Nothing is worse than having a heart that beats, but a soul that weeps because every fiber of your being is tired.
My time is running out.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
The time is ticking.
The days are flying by but the life You live is in a vacuum.
You're broken  and you don't seem to find the light.

Everything seems so dark.
You trust 'it'? You must.
You're caught up in the wrong crowd? You need to find the light.
You think you're about to die? You need to find the light.
You can't carry all that baggage? You need to find the light.
The light will guide you home they said. The light created our souls, I read.
Where the true question comes in, is DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE?
Do you believe that this light will guide you home?
They say the light follows you wherever you go.
It has the ability to outshine every single dark particle of matter in your life but what if You don’t trust the light?
Will Everything will turn out right?
Once you accept and understand that you and the light have always been one.
Ndanyanyukwa Sep 2018
Dear heart.
I know you're somewhere and
it scares me that I can't find you.
Did I lose you to that boy I spoke about all the time?
Did I lose you to friends that left?
Did I lose you to the pain you felt?
The pain I ignored?
They pain I misjudged?
Are you there?
I can’t hear you beating anymore?
I know you're out there and I need to talk to you.
I need to tell you how I feel.
Please answer me!
Maybe you're gone because I hurt you.
I didn't mean to.
I just wanted somebody to talk to.
Now you're gone and I don't even know for how long that will be.
all I'm saying is that when you learn to forgive me I hope you'll come back.
I need you.
I can't live without you.
Continue to beat, because eventually I'll find you.
Ndanyanyukwa Aug 2018
I hope they know that I was writing.
I hope they know that poetry was the reason why I could fight it.
At night with my broken heart trying to fix all the pieces that have broken apart.
So do we call this art?
Or is this just the start? Of finding all the answers left from the people who have left their mark? Will we ever know? Will they ever show? The love they once had for us which taught us about growth.
I highly doubt so.
Emotions on low, that every single person I've met asks me why I don't glow. I guess this is the part where I start to explain, how I am still alive and how I manage to stay sane.
"you learn to numb the pain" caused by people, circumstances and something's you can't mention in vain.

If pain takes me away, I want you to proudly say that you knew somewhere that I was writing and I'll be okay.
life is worth living. sometimes it will take others longer to realize that.
Ndanyanyukwa Jul 2018
Do I believe?
Can I really see?
Or is that what my eyes want me to perceive it as?
It's an energy one said.
It's a higher being as I read.
It will save you they say.
Lately we've been saving ourselves that's how we're able to say we're okay.
third eye is creeping?That's a lie.The people around you they making it blind.
The system deceiving us. That's the truth. They trying to deprive us from the proof. Closed minded people they don't see. All following the systems and being wanna be's. I'm asking some questions. They don't hear. The system wipes their thoughts and now their minds are "clear". They trying to explain things in their rap.
But sadly we can't hear because most of us are trapped.
Ndanyanyukwa May 2018

D- destroyed the little pieces that I had left from my broken heart.
E-engulfed the the memories I had left like the lymphocytes within my body which protect me from harm.
A-abused my eyes as the tears fell from my face, because I was crying a river.
T- torments me everyday to know that there is no way I can go back in time to just say Goodbye or hold your hand just one last time.
H-heartless, because DEATH knew that removing my mother from this earth would cause the last piece of my no longer existent heart to “**** free” because it knew my heart could only handle so much of the pressure before separating and causing massive destruction which would never be able to be put back into place.
As I drown in the river of my tears, death speaks to me and says:”I will show you the real meaning pain and depression by allowing you to lose the ones most important to you at a time where you need them most, because I am the teacher of life. You will continue to lose people, you will experience many days in limbo and until you understand the meaning of life, you will continue to lose people.”

— The End —