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No one May 2021
It was only by loving you that I could love myself.

I never meant to hurt you.

You wear that mask so well
I can't tell if I did.

I choose to think you're oblivious.

After all, you don't know
You don't know anything at all.

I love you.

I wish I didn't

I'm moving away soon so why
Why even try

We'd have a month at best

It's unfair

I don't want to love you

You don't love me.

I know you don't.

I see it in your eyes.

I just want to kiss you,
One last time.

I want to see you smile again.
No one Apr 2021
I almost want to apologise for my lack of writing.

I go for months, years.

I try to be healthy,
To change my poetry into something

"Productive."

I always come back.

Something about it,
Being honest with myself.

No, I'm not okay.

For that brief time,
Where I am creative,
Happy,

Allowed to be whoever I am.

Before I pretend that this moment
Never existed.

Before I pretend I'm okay again.
Before I have to be something other than a broken mind trapped in a useless existence.
No one Apr 2021
Anything is better than being alone.

Maybe
I could stop caring about others.

Because
I begin to hate myself.

To lose myself.

So very ******* poetic.

But with you, I want to die.

Without you, I already am.
No one Apr 2021
I wish I had some meaning

In this meaningless world.
No one Jan 2021
I chose life.

I could have gone,
Peacefully,
In my own time.

A choice.

Life or death.

To continue to suffer,
To fight.

To sleep in peace,
To end.

It was the hardest decision of my life,
But the most natural too.

Out of spite,
Out of fear,
Out of love.

Call it what you will.
I don't regret the decision I made.
No one Jan 2021
The night
Is cold
And long.

I cannot
Think.

I want to
Be loved.

But I
Will die
Here.

Cold
Alone
Forgotten

As it
Should be

The pain
Makes
My existence
Fade.

Scattered thoughts.

I love you.
This is a form of closure for me. I was facing some hard times with my mental health, but I am beginning to get better.
No one Nov 2020
I love how some people
Can articulate their thoughts so clearly.

They can say so little
And amount to so much.

I know I should stop
Comparing myself to them.

They have meaning.

My mind's a mess.
I wish I could be poetic, but I guess I'm just me.
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