I wish,
I wish I had a better life,
One that I didn’t have to rely on pills to keep me happy,
One that my parents were still together,
One where I was happy not depressed 24/7
One that my anxiety makes me want to stay in bed
One that my family was normal
Not a suicidal daughter,
Not a brother that stays in his room,
Not a mother thats a former Alcoholic and lives a state away,
Not a father that’s gone 24/7 and comes home when your sleep.
One that everyone is together,
One that people will understand how it feels to be depressed or anxious.
One where I am happy.
Not one that your significant other lives in Ohio and barely gets to talk to you,
Not one that you look at couples and with that was you with him,
All that you get with him is video calls or phone calls.
One that you don’t have scars on your wrists because you can’t handle everything at once,
But life doesn’t care.
It throws everything at once,
Just says oh your sad,
Im not sorry.
I wish
I wish
I wish
I freaking wish,
I wish this,
I wish that,
When is it my turn to get what I want?
When is it my turn to be broken,
Or sad.
No one understands what it feels like to have to pick up pieces hiding the fact that your sad.
I WISH
I WANT
I CANT 
I NEED
I 
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I AM NOTHING

I'm sorry I complain so much
I understand you don't want to talk
To me when I am emotional
It's just that you have been my rock

I have no one to vent to
You're still one of my best friends
I need someone to spill my heart to
About how tired I am of dead ends

You don't want to hear me whine
Or listen while I get mad
Besides you can't make me feel better
Because you're the reason I'm sad

After many years of thought,
I reached a conclusion.

My life has no meaning.

I have no reason for my existence,
No idea what to do with it.

But at least I'm not lying to myself.

The world full of distractions,
Hiding the fact that death inches ever closer

With every move we make.

Some might find meaning in helping others,
But you can help others if you can't help yourself.

Maybe I should die.

That's the point of it all, isn't it?
To suffer?

Everything dies out, eventually.

Even the universe,
The never-ending flow of time.

The only reason to live is to suffer.

And everything in between that
Is boring.

I ask, May I Come In?

You reply, Who's There?

It's just me,
And my pessimistic thoughts.

I know you might not want me here.

In fact, I don't want me.

But your voice is of someone I can trust,
And right now, I need to feel loved.

"Are The Voices In Your Head Acting Up Again?"

A simple question, easy enough.
But I do not want to answer.

Eventually, I say "Yeah",
And I can already see you cry.

And for some reason, so do I.

He made me smile
He made me laugh
He made me fall in love
Then,
He  made me cry
He made me hope
that he would love me back