Allyssa

Allyssa Dec 2020

And I wonder if they'll write stories about me.
About the tales of my adventures,
The people I've met,
The hearts I've broken,
The tears I've shed,
The fear,
Anguish,
Pain,
Abandonment,
Callousness,
Abrasiveness,
Rumors,
Lies.
I wonder if and when they tell of the bad,
They don't forget the good, too.
You see, I'm not perfect.
The image that I've seamlessly wrapped myself in isn't all bad.
The image of me that once existed in people's minds,
I am not responsible for.
Because while I am many things,
I am also loving,
Caring,
Understanding,
Thoughtful,
Patient,
Timid,
Soft,
Warm,
Gentle,
Kind,
Human.
Many people of my past forget that I am human and so are they.
I focused so much on my mortality,
I forget that I, too, make mistakes just as much as the next person.
I just hope that where my legs may carry me,
I am kinder,
I am softer,
I am less angry at who I was and focus on who I am.

Sometimes I forget that there is a lot of good in the bad.

#human

Dec 2020

Haylin

1.11

In the cold, dark
        of January,
         I remembered
              you
        the most.
  As the chill
      snapped bones
              like branches,
     as the afternoons
   bathed themselves
in gray,
     as the birds
and the backs
      shook,
so did my lips
   around your name.
I'm so happy
     January is almost
over now.

#january #cold #dark #winter #leave #bye #snow #grey

Allyssa Dec 2020

My Love

Imagine if we could reach the stars and pluck them out of the sky because for you,
My darling,
I'd pick them and never stop.
Flowers are beautifully tragic but I'd rather give you your constellation in a bundle of soft clouds and a gentle warm breeze with lavender and chamomile.

Imagine somebody eternally embodying me in stanzas like I do for him.

#clouds #stars #love #him #bundles #constellations #lavender #warmth #summer

Allyssa Oct 2020

Mindless

Elusive thoughts and dreams,
Permeant to the mind.
Merely phasing through the realities of my soul.
I loved the sickness of the mind,
A dark murky cloud of an unpredictable storm.
Pushing through the phases of that empty vastness,
Drowning in a swirling mix of confusion,
Spreading like a poison throughout the veins of a twisting,
Winding,
Painful injection upon the skin.
Living through the soreness of a long familiar ache,
Yearning for a peace that never quite settled.

Known pain

#pain #him #alone #veins #twisting #poison #ache

Allyssa Oct 2020

Sugar Boy

Soft sweet lips,
Honey dew words,
Sugar kisses,
Warm embraces.
It was the unexpected dance,
The glances,
The smiles.
It was getting stuck in the rain,
Locked out of the house,
Laughing until we couldn’t breathe.
I was little drunk,
You didn’t mind.
We giggled like children in the dark,
Watching the raindrops on the windshield,
In that ever so warm car.

I can tell this is going to be a rabbit hole

#sugar #sweet #him #alone #rain #house #lock #laugh #late #car

Allyssa Oct 2020

Empty Sky

Wet eyes,
Tear stained cheeks.
Pursed red lips,
Soft hiccups and steadying breaths.
She quietly whispered,
"Maybe I wasn't meant to be here."
Warm tears rolled softly down her face once more,
Squeezing her eyes shut.
Slowly, she looks out into the stars,
And whispers,
"I'm coming home."

empty

#stars #home #night #alone #sky #empty #thoughts

Allyssa Oct 2020

Desire

It's almost poetic,
The way we give ourselves to others without a second thought,
Just so we could feel something,
Anything,
Other than the holes in our chests.
The aches our hearts give us,
Craving the touch of the one we want most,
To be held,
To be loved,
To be wanted.
So, we give our flesh,
To appease the longing we crave,
In hopes of quieting the demons that claw their way out at night,
Creating craters in the no-mans land we call our love.
To love freely,
To be loved freely,
Is such a beautifully terrifying thing.
Isn't it?

We offer our flesh to the ones who will take it in hopes of filling the overgrowing void in our hearts.

#flesh #body #him #alone #ache #craters #touch #love #broken