i.   the first time I saw you, you sat on the floor
at my house, I'd never met or seen you.
You smiled and said my name, then my sister's.
you seemed like the kind of person that belongs.
that fits perfectly and can be held onto.

ii.  we were perfect, making merry and laughing at things
it looked bright for the both of us.
that first night, we promised each other that we could always work it out.
no matter how rough it could ever get.
if only we had seen us now.

iii.  you jeer at everything I do or say.
according to you I am mean and unloving, disrespectful even.
according to me you are selfish, mean, bad hearted, bad mannered, uncultured, disrespectful, childish, unforgiving, filled with anger and jealousy, not moral-ed ..... and all the things I shouldn't have ever met.

iv.   its because of people like you that unmeet buttons should have existed.
Hate is a strong word, but sometimes I feel it when I think of you.

My circle is built for two …

I will stand in my circle …

Alone ….
and wait.

If you step inside my circle …
you must come alone.

I stand in my circle …
alone.

If someone else enters the circle with you …
I will leave it …

Because …

If you stay in that circle, with them …
it will become yours.

I will then build another circle.

It will become yours.
if you stay in that circle, with them …

Because …

I will leave it …
if someone else enters the circle with you.

Alone …
I stand inside my circle.

You must come alone.
If you step inside my circle …

and wait …
alone,

I will stand inside my circle.

My circle is built for two.

Are you proud of me darling
That I didn’t give into the flesh
Even with those pills popped
Her pants dropped
I still had the fortitude to deny her requests

And in that moment I was so high
Off of prescriptions I was too drunk to pronounce
I think they were hydro- wait
hol-holdup
hold on a secontt
No, I can stand just give me a-
I’m not even that draank calm down

Even with the room spinning
My consciousness fading
My heart closed my eyes and turned me around

Sweetheart are you proud..
That the list of my goals and ambitions
Is stained by your lipstick
To be honest, all of my dreams are too hard to see through these rose colored glasses
But they’re my greatest asset
And if I ever removed them...
Even just to catch up on some sleep
I might give up.
I might give up on you
and my family and friends
and life
and my cat- I know I don’t have one yet
but these rose colored dreams... so delightful-
sigh
Alright, I’ll remove them for a verse

Kiddo, am I proud?
No.
Absolutely not.
I am not noble in turning away those who show interest in me because..
Because you aren’t even mine
And I’m stuck in this delusion that everything will be fine
If I give it my all and move to LA
Chase after rose colored dreams until they lose their color someday.
And maybe
No- I know that I could waste the entirety of my existence chasing after your perfection
You’d think by now I would have learned my lesson.

But if you really do admire me like you say
And if distance is the only thing prying our hearts away
Then I’ll throw away this life-
I’ll turn down tempting lasses
And I’ll chase after you with my rose colored glasses