I am very ugly
So don't try to convince me that
I am a very beautiful person
Because at the end of the day
I hate myself in every single way
And I'm not going to lie to myself by saying
There is beauty inside of me that matters
So rest assured I will remind myself
That I am a worthless, terrible person
And nothing you say will make me believe
I still deserve love
Because no matter what
I am not good enough to be loved
And I am in no position to believe that
Beauty does exist within me
Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think
Am I as ugly as people say?

(Now read bottom up)

The waves crash against my body,
As the tide pulled me further out.

I screamed, salty water filled my lungs,
No one… heard me.

I am alone. Dying.
The laughter of the waves in my ears.

The gods looked down upon me,
They see me in pain, they do not care.

With a final crash,
I slipped under.

I am drowning.
Darkness surrounds me.

Sinking deeper and deeper,
Vision growing blurry.

Knives impaled my stomach,
My last breath escaped my lips.

You will soon understand,
that falling in love does not include:

wanting and hoping
that they fall in love with us.

it is falling for the person that they are.

You will soon see that
late night thinking hoping we did not:
“say the wrong thing”
“are they seeing someone else"
“do I look good enough”

it is simply falling in love with your self

accepting and sharing
yourself with
kindness and care
to them

we can only
hope
they accept us for us

we can only
hope
they care for us as much as
we care for ourselves

as of now
stay true to yourself
for they will see in their eyes
how much you fall in love with yourself everyday,
they will see.

As of now
enjoy they joy they bring you
each morning
each afternoon
every second of your breath
every heartbeat they give you

but never forget
if we fall out of love it is ok.

We are only here to
accept ourselves
and
share our lives with them.

it will never be for eternity
for that is our own peace as well.

They don’t know what it’s like,
To be in fear as they walk down the sidewalk,
With their keys in their hands, ready to defend themselves.
They don’t know.

They have no idea what it feels like,
To be watched,
With lustful eyes, going up and down their body,
They have no idea.

How could they know?
That every day they would need to survive,
Through the comments and the grabby hands,
How? Because they aren’t us.

WE know what it’s like,
To fight for our right,
To survive in this judgemental world,
WE know.

They don’t have everyone question them,
About their attitude,
About their virtue,
About their weight,
About their life.

They don’t get those **** cat-calls,
No, they are the ones doing them.
They don’t get their drinks spiked,
No, they are the ones doing it.
They don’t get harassed, every day,
No, they are the ones doing it.

Young, old.
Tall, short.
Small, big.
They don’t care.

We are alone.
We stick together.
We are SURVIVORS.

I loved you, at first,
more than anything.
Nothing else mattered,
If I could be by your side,
I would’ve protected you from a n y t h i n g.

The feeling of
your lips touching mine.
Cold and dull,
is it wrong that I still miss them?

Your eyes drifted to others,
never straying to mine,
never filled with the same spark.
Why won't you look at me?

You would say it,
those three words and I could only listen
as you say it to the others.
Not to me. Never to me.
They always got your love,
and warm smiles,
while you gave me your screams of
"You should be happy. Why aren't you happy?"

My orders:
never to be near you,
holding hands was forbidden,  
we did not know each other, not publicly.
They would get the wrong idea.
“She's just a friend,” You would say.
Forcing me into a corner, chained,
As your collar (pleaseithurtsithurts) leaves me
b r e a t h l e s s.

It was all a game, wasn't it?
Of how fast I could love you (whatwasithinking),
of how much I could bleed (Goditwaseverywhere)
of how long before I couldn’t take it (saveme,please,anyone)
You were the king,
and I, your faithful pawn,
Just another piece on your board.

Your touches, never warm, never tender
What an artist you were,
Always defacing your canvas with your brushes,
Aren’t you talented?
Is this what love is?
Take it back, please,
I don't want this anymore.  
I just wanna forget (getitoutgetitout).

“It’s okay, you don’t have to love me, no one ever does.”

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.
On the mask is a smile.
It’s always different. For every person.
With our heart’s torn and bleeding, we smile.
We numb and we hide and we pretend.
That everything will be okay. That we'll be okay.

We just want to hide our fear.
Fear of never being good enough.
Fear that no one will ever love us.
Fear that we won’t love ourselves.

It’s amazing, isn’t it?
What we can fake with a smile.
It hides our injured soul so deep.
That no one will ever know how broken we really are.

We say it over and over, repeatedly tucking away our hearts.
We don’t want to have it broken. Not again.
We act as if nothing is wrong,
That we are not breaking,
That we are fine.

They are such fools
Believing us so easily.
Can’t they see our pain? Our tears?
Are they even looking?
Is the smile that we wear too perfect?
Why won’t they notice?

No one ever thinks we’ll fall apart. That we’ll break.
But we do and sometimes that’s good, but not always.
There are times where we wish we could just break down
On someone’s awaiting shoulder
As they comfort our pain.