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Jay M Nov 2019
My Perspective

Ghosts;
There are many kinds
Those that appear in images and audio
And those that appear in our minds
That haunt us to our cores
Plaguing us
With flashbacks, fears, insecurities
Issues with trust, issues with companionship;
Whatever it may be
These ghosts never leave us be
Not a moment to rest
And when they give us that moment
It disappears in an instant
Vanishing as soon as it had come
Not to be seen for a time yet.

~

My Mother's Perspective

An entity that may or may not exist
A shadow, or a lingering spirit
Such has been debated for ages
Yet, the question is; what do I believe?
There could be such
The soul of a person lingering in a place of importance
Trapped in a memory they had
Possibly keeping people away
Possibly inviting them to stay
Such is unclarified
Unverified
Left for us to be believers,
Or skeptics.

~

My Sister's Perspective

Yes, they are all around us!
Dreams so wondrous,
Nightmares of the dangerous,
Hidden in photos
Detected in sound
Things move when nobody is around
Keys turning
Spirits yearning
For communication
Destination
Freedom from repetition
Or just a friendly hello
A familiar song on the cello.


- Jay M
November 21st, 2019
I wrote each one in a different perspective of the topic of ghosts. The two that are from my mom and sister's perspective are what I believe their take on the subject is based on what they have told me they believe.
Jay M Nov 2019
Hidden in fabrics
                                                                            Concealed beneath a mask
Taking shelter in music
                                                                                 Letting the lyrics soothe
Calm the frenzy of thoughts
                                                                                   Ease the internal storm


- Jay M
November 18th, 2019
Jay M Nov 2019
Bleeding November
Cannot remember
What happened
Hands blackened
By October paint
Then I faint
For it remembers not why

Still, it is shy
A small, weakened cry
Bursting into the night
O what a fright
Taking grand flight

Interesting confusion
A mild intrusion
Seeping into the mind
Creeping up behind

Then

Boo!
Shoo,
Foul beast!
Let us feast,
In peace!

- Jay M
November 12th, 2019
Just playful word use. Made to be used in class as part of my portfolio.
Jay M Nov 2019
Reprimanded by blood
Such words stung like a blade
Embedded in my mind
Tearing me to pieces
Falling away
To a great depths

Desiring so badly
To take a sip
Of the escaping nectar
Alas
Having vowed to never do so again
Not doing so in reality
But in my mind
To be drunk in my mind
Sharing such desires to a trusted one
Speech of this thing
Terrible for doing so

What a way to live
Allowing myself to imagine such
Become so monstrous
To a point
Where I am able to sink so low
To return to zero
No longer behind a mask
Yet still in part

Internally
Crying out rivers
Seas of emotion so strong
The power of a tempest
Rocking me
Tossing me
Between the waves
Relentlessly
Unforgiving

Aching in my chest
Somewhere in my center
A placed called the heart
I presume

Consuming me
Is this pain
Threatening to control
Command
Yet
Here I am
Ordering myself
Fighting against this
This demon and the rest of them
In my head
Barely able to survive

- Jay M
November 10th, 2019
In my 5th month sober, but it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought...
I'm so tempted...but I resist. Life makes me tempted. **** family...
All I have is my friends and my love...and only some of my friends at that.
Someone betrayed me...not sure who. Doesn't matter. Just have to keep sober. Keep sober.
Jay M Nov 2019
Student
Racing about
Scattered here and there
Learning all it can
Then, somehow
Reading a work
So inspiring
A true keeper of knowledge
Hidden among them

Seeking improvement
Of works and self
But so occupied
Barely time for such
In a hurricane of stress
Pressure and emotion
Far beyond itself
The student tried
A deed so selfish
Then reflected
A work resembling the moment
Easing themselves in part
That it was released
But horrified
Of what could have been

Looking up
To their mentor
A keeper of knowledge
Held in high respects
But when seen
At the weakest
Cast away
As one of millions
But the student
Wished
Yearned
To be more than one of millions
Pleading to be taught
To be made an apprentice
Alas
No more
No more

- Jay M
November 6th, 2019
Jay M Nov 2019
The hardest thing of all
Is being enough
For yourself

Living
When all you wish to do
Is perish

Yet

There are things to live for
Love
Friends
Some family

But in the moment
The only thing is love
But that is even hazed over
In that moment of weakness
Taking too many
Seated on the cold wooden floor
Clutching a stuffed animal
In a closet
Tears streaming down
Nothing seems real

Next dawn
Dizzy, lightheaded, weak
Finally kicking in
Overwhelming regret and guilt

Trembling as I lay
Wrapped in the blankets
Soft like a kittens fur
Invisible tears streamed down
Cascading to the pool of emotions
I was drowning in

After time
Finally
Gaining the courage to talk
To a friend
Trusted
Explaining
Understood
Swearing never to repeat that cursed day

But
Still
I must tell my love
What to say?
What to do?
Oh the ache
The sorrow
Never do I wish to hurt him
Yet
This shall...
Still
I must be honest

Coping is a challenge
One I have yet to master
But one day
I shall tame the demons within
Look up to the sky
Breathe and say;
"I'm alive."

- Jay M
November 6th, 2019
I'm alright. Recovering.
Jay M Nov 2019
Shining brightly in the night
In the corners of our minds
Dancing with the dead
Wherever that may be
If there at all
But still you do
Smiling down from the heavens
Passing on your good wisdom
Then walking back among the living
Just for two days
One just for you
The other for the rest
But still you do roam
Lingering to say
Your greetings and farewells
Then ascending
Back to that magical place
Dreamland

- Jay M
November 1st, 2019
Today is the first day of the dead; All Saints Day.
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