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My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Overbearing,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
Loudly,
Unavoidably,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
Pulling,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
My                                              
heart is                                                  
A LANTERN                                              
Inside, lives a                                              
fae                                                  
♡         ­                                       
g                                          
e                   ­                 
n                                      
t                       ­                       
l                                                
e                                          
♡                                
a                          
  ­   n                                
      d                        ­                  
      ♡                                       ­             
s                                                  ­  
w                                              
e                                        
e                     ­             
t                                        
♡                                                      

                  With
                   bright wings
                     G L I T T E R I N G
                     with love, life and
                     hope
                    ♡
                 f
           o
           r
                 ♡
                         p
                             e
                             a
                       c
                 e
                     ♡

As                    
I grow,                
S H E  R E M A I N S              
youthful, timid,              
safe                
♡              
a        
f      
r        
a                
i                  
d       ­     
♡    
t
     o

f        
l              
y          


                                        She
                   ­                     spent days
                                          JUST  CRYING
     ­                                     feeling so lost
                                          Hurt
             ­                             ♡
                                  ­        I
                                               '
                                                     m
                                                      ♡
       ­                                             s
                  ­                             o
                                        ♡
                     ­          s
                             o
                                    r
                                          r
                    ­                              y
                                 ­                   ♡

                                           ­                             The
                                ­                                         summer
                                                          ­                OF HER HEART
                                                           ­                  became winter
                                                          ­                bleak
                                           ­                            ♡
                                                               ­                 a
                                                                ­                     n
                                                               ­                   d
                                            ­                            ♡
                                   ­                            c
                                                             o
                                                               ­   l
                                                            ­                d
                                                                ­                   ♡

                        But
                       with time
                          SHE MANAGED
                        to pick herself
                       up
                      ♡
                  a
                  ­ n
                           d
                                  ♡
                           ­               h
                                        e
      ­                           r
                          ♡
              p
      e
          n­
                 ♡

With                        
the help                        
O F  O T H E R                        
fellow Kings and                        
Queens                      
♡                    
t              
h          
a              
n                        
k         ­                         
♡                                      ­    
y                                      
o                                
  u                        
♡  ­        
s
       o
       ♡
m    
u              
c                
h        


                   You                                                              ­    
all have                                              
A D D E D   TO                                            
my heart's inner                                              
flame        ­                                        
♡                                              
a                                                          
n   ­                                                       
d                                                      
♡       ­                               
h                            
o  ­                      
p                              
e                               ­       
s                                        
♡                     ­           

       Winds                                                            ­              
blow, wings                                                            ­      
NOW FLUTTER                                                          ­        
I'm ready to                                                               ­   
fly                                                              ­  
♡                                                                ­
s                                                              
i                                                      
d                                                
e                                                
♡                                                          
b                                                               ­ 
y                                                              ­  
♡                                                          
s    ­                                            
i                                                  
d            ­                                              
e                 ­                                                   ♡
I'm back!
So sorry everyone, the last few weeks have been... a strain on me.
I am still doing my media course and all, but mentally and emotionally,
I was slipping down into a dark place. My sleeping patterns have been messed up, my nerves have been completely out of control, my self-doubt, anxiety and depression drained me so much that I found it really hard to write, so I needed time to gather myself. It was so hard for me to pick up a pen. To do anything. My smiles were hollow and I just felt so lost.

I just wanted to apologise, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I'm truly touched by the out-pour of support for me. I got so many messages asking if I was alright. I can't express how much that warmed my heart. I'm so used to people being angry at me for my silence that it usually scares me to come back. By nature, with everything I've experienced, it's made me more and more of an isolationist. To all of those people, truly, thank you so so much for staying and just being kind to me...
Really. Thank you T-T
And thank you to all my followers, old and new.
245 followers... I can't even... T-T
I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record but thank you.
I'm back now, and I'm feeling better.
It's easier to hold my pen so I will resume spilling my ink.

I'll continue the Masked Bard on Thursday, I'm free the whole day.
I have no idea of my schedule the coming week.
Again, I appreciate everyone one of you.
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
Thank you for staying with someone like me.
With much love,
Lyn ***
 Jan 2020 Smothered Divine
Pyrrha
I wonder what it feels like
To hold the world in your hands
And let it slip from your grasp

Suppose I'll never know
repression is a matter
of trust

if they'd trust me they
wouldn't repress me

yet they don't trust
me

there is no right
life in the wrong one
Thedor W. Adorno: "The gods look in pleasure on penitent sinners."
You
are




very











special
Regardless of your skin color, gender, age, money, ****** identity, religion, atheism, cultural and historical background.



You are special. Because you are loved.
God or whatever we might call this unique power loves everybody.
EVERY-BODY.
God is good.

Today is a good day.

YOUTUBE: SAMI YUSUF – FORGOTTEN PROMISES
depression is something that will go away.
sooner or later, but it will leave you.

two and a half years ago, i was so depressed that i couldn't get up anymore. literally. for eight weeks.

and now i'm satisfied with myself. because I simply accepted my longing.

that's it.
Just speaking for myself. I can't offer an universal truth. Everybody is different.
But there is something universal. And it loves you. If you listen to it.

Today is a good day.
emma, 13 years old.
alfredo, 61.

emma: hi grandpa nice to see you what's your wifi-password?

alfredo: i don't have wifi.

emma: written altogether?
Today is a good day.
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