With her jagged edges she stands,
gazing upon the connection between the well versed,
as her language remains misunderstood,
dark and chaotic.

Her edges are sharp,
and grooves are too deep.
The rhythm of her heart
& blood pulsation
feel out of orbit.

An outsider,
an outcast
trying to jam to fit in puzzles;
blunting her edges,
painting herself with different hues to blend.
Yet within she is out of tune.

Sometimes,
we are scared of letting someone in
because we don't want to entangle them in our chaos.

Sometimes,
we fear to reach out for the hand of others
while we are drowning
because we don't want to pull them in.

Sometimes,
we are scared to cling on to the hearts of others,
because we don't want to leave them scarred.

Sometimes,
we scarred to get close,
because we will push them away
and it is just unfair.

Sometimes,
we are so willing to be destroyed
by the pain within us, than to destroy anyone else.

You are alive at night,
dancing in my dreams.
For our love thrives in my heart,
when it's dead in reality.

Dear __ ,
We barely talk,
we spend mornings and nights
looking down on those rectangular box.
You don't even look at me anymore,
unless it is through the lens of yours.
You can't hear me over those phone calls of yours,
and now my heart sores and roars
for I feel alone.

“Darling, I know you want someone to care. I know you want someone to love you the days you don’t love yourself; believe in you the days you don’t believe in yourself. I know you don’t want to feel alone, weak and broken. I know you want someone to go out of their way to show they love and care for you even in the subtlest of ways.
But darling, until that person comes in your life, I want you to care about your happiness. I don't want you to let your happiness be dependent on the people who make you taste sadness. I want you to care about yourself when no one does. I want you to do all that you hope one day someone does for you, yourself. I want you to indulge in all what you love. Indulge in all that enriches your mind; brings love to your heart and brings happiness to your soul. I want you to make plans, go out and have fun for yourself. Because, you my dear are the moon and the sun of your world. You deserve happiness and care even when none are willing to give. You don't need a hand to hold, even when the night gets cold because you've got the fire in your soul. The beat of your heart is enough to keep you going. You are always enough to keep yourself happy, cared about and successful.
And even if you ever to meet that person, I always want you to remember to keep loving and caring about yourself.”

- excerpt from an open letter

From one country to another.
From one air to another.
From one heart to another.
I settle down from the sky to the ground.

I miss the people back home,
I miss the familiarity
I reminisces the beauty of the place
I called home.
It takes time to settle
my emotions
and life.

But then as I roam,
I fall in love with the intricacies.
I see the hidden beauty of the country.
As I meet people,
I start building homes in their heart.
And as I breathe the air,
I start to feel like this is home.

But as soon as I felt I was settling in,
when I was finally falling in love,
I have to leave.  

I feel my deep intertwined roots in
people's hearts being pulled away.
I feel my heart breaking into pieces
as my hesitant hellos
become aching goodbyes.

My heart has become a hollow,
transitioning swiftly from emotional
to emotionless.

I feel alone once more,
as I depart from the ground back to the sky.
But I know, this cycle would repeat once more.

Somedays,
I write to reunite the broken pieces of my heart.
Somedays,
I write when I am unable to cry.
Somedays,
I write the words that never leave my lips.
Somedays,
I write when I feel no one would understand me.
Somedays,
I write the words for help that my soul screams for.
And somedays,
I am unable to write about
the emptiness that exists within.