Ronin

Ronin Nov 2022

Lost

You’re the forest
in which I
wander, and I
get lost

You, me
us.
It reminds me of
driving with my
mom, we always
get lost.

Together, but also
alone, I
get lost

You take the map
from my hands,
no navigation
you won’t allow
any guidance;

and alone, I
get lost

In you, me
in us.

Ronin Jul 2022

space

you say you
need space;
but you are
my space.

you are all the stars
in my night sky,
the moon
that i look at every night,
and you are
all of the planets
in my galaxy.

so how am i
supposed to give you
space?
the whole sky will come
crashing down
on me.

i will always love you, no matter what.

#space #heartbreak #pain #breakup #love #stars #galaxy #planets #sky

Ronin Mar 2021

the definition of irony

they throw
their expectations at
me, as if
they were
a ball.

i've never been good at catching.

#ball #expectations #parents #society #stress #catch

Ronin Mar 2021

i never promised you a rose garden.

you told me
the roses in my garden
weren't red enough,
so i changed them.

then
you told me
the roses in my garden
weren't big enough,
so i changed them.

finally,
you told me
no matter what i did
my roses would never be pretty
enough for you,
so i cried.

i let you trample up all
my roses
and i took the thorns and the petals
and i chewed them up,
and spit them in your face.

but one thorn
got swallowed
and it
remains stuck in my
throat to this
very day.

for every lie i get told
i swallow a thorn
how many boys would it take,
to get my rose garden back?

& i never even promised you a rose garden.

based on the book titled "i never promised you a rose garden"

#roses #petals #thorns #pain #hurt #you #flowers #love #lies #promises

Ronin Mar 2021

she was.

your words
spin out of control
like the car she was in,

and your words
crash into me
like i'm the garage;
and your words
the car she was in,

and your words
leave scars on my body
like the aftermath
of their words
did;
"that crash,
it was the car she was in."

i love you, kiet.

#death #car #crash #pain #scars #hurt #words #love #broken

Ronin Mar 2021

death is a certainty

they say
death
is a certainty.

they're right.

i'm not
living;
i'm waiting,

full of fear,
i'm waiting
for the next call.

who will be next?

#death #fear #trauma #grief #pain #hurt #waiting #call #life

Ronin Jul 2020

Contradictions

You tell me
I’m not that skinny
My BMI tells me
I’m way too skinny
You tell me
My waist isn’t that small
The internet tells me
My waist is small enough for modeling
You tell me
Everyone has size 2
Research tells me
The average size is size 12
You tell me
I’m not enough
Yet too much

I tell myself
I’m not enough
Yet too much.

#anorexia #eatingdisorder #starving #ana #fat #skinny #you