Kiss me, hold me, feel me, feel it...
This intense throbbing aching lust of love.
Am I too alluring?
Can you feel me inside of you?
******* you relentlessly.
How hard are you?
Is your mind awake?
Can you feel a hole being drilled through it?
Am I passionate?
Am I seducing you to these pleasures that you cannot resist?
Irresistible, faint to the touch.
To satisfy, you cannot resist the urge.
It's pushing through every promise and memory you've ever had.
I'm not like the others...
You've loved, you've ******...
But have you had your earth shaken like a magnitude of an explosive volcano that boils to the top.
A flaming ridden peak of desire that never burns out.
It's aching.... you're about to explode.
Don't, feel it linger instead ......
Are you breathing heavy?
Are you shaking, I swear you have never met someone like me before.
Call me baby...
Papi...
Don't love me too hard, I might just leave.

Ssssshhh....
It's just a mind ****.

My mind is elsewhere...
and the only person I have on it; is you.
My mind goes back to that night; the way you spoke to me, touched me, looked into me, The way you kissed me...
The intensity and passion between us was so magnetic that even shadows could not bare to lurk.
Obsession, possession, love.
I want it all for myself.
I filtrate your thoughts, you obsess over it, you want to do more than just **** me.
You feel guilt.

Nobody has ever looked at me like that...
The mannerism of it was, was something I have never had or felt before.
I feel his thoughts, pulsating through my every nerve, my desires are not to be obsolete.
Our energies, it's intertwined in a way that I have not with anyone else.
An image, a reflection... Of me.
You are me, and I am you.

I want to feel you again, in person.
I feel you spiritually and it makes me miss you immaculately.
I see you in my dreams, waking thoughts, my soul longs for yours.
I know you feel me, I know you love me, I can feel it.
It's creating a hold of heartache inside of you, you are dared to not even breach because of your priceless ego that stops you from what could make you someone completely different.
You were hurt, and to never trust a woman again was your broken promise you made to yourself.
Yet, you saw something in me when you met me, and decided to run away and treat it for what it was not because of your broken soul that you were not ready to face.
Complacent, stubborn, you already know you are mine, and I already know that I am yours.
I've adapted, but I still think of you.
Profusely, I still remember the gleaming stare in your hazel eyes.

Yet, timing is a matter of precaution...

A love so deep, it rips apart your unhealed skull.
A mystery of illusions, inclusivity is dared to be dispelled.
May I hold you?
Or am I too far away.
Can I feel you?
Just a touch to make me beg of your despair.
Unwritten poetry, a querulent secrecy of written misery and longing.
I want to love, may I love?
Whom can be loved more than the love of thyself?
I fall to my aching pits.
I feel you...
But you are not here.

Can I be loved?
Or is it overrated.
Is self love enough?
Or am I walking on a thin rope, my eyes, shut closed, I may die in my misery, a façade of continuous joy.
Am I to be loved, in my embodiment of Aphrodite herself.
Maybe I am too closed off.
Or maybe I am too pure.
These contradictions are my addictions and I can never seem to pick between the two.
Maybe love is too good for me, like a curse that strings me to the depths of insanity where love cannot even be justified.
Maybe I am a monster in my drowning tears.
Or maybe, just maybe, I am juxtaposed.
Once they fall in love with me, they fear, run away like cowards with boneless spindles.
My walls so hard, can dynamite even be crushed?

To feel that feeling...
Sensual pleasures...
To hold, to actually feel...
I've lost meaning of the word.

Can I be loved? Or am I too powerful?

I feel it....
The urge,
The scratch,
The knuckle,
The crack,
The sound,
The glimpse,
The silence....

Change, inwardly evolving into every step I make, every word I say, every breath I take.
What is at stake?

I struck myself at a forsaken introspection.
Becoming, someone new.
Someone dark, and someone light.
Someone who I never thought I could be.
Intensity strikes and the magic I have been hiding resurfaces.
I am many forms...
Of me.

I then, start to see.
She was just a cover, but now I unfold and surface at my most enlightened peak.
I feel me, I know me.
Yet, it's a monumental battle of self, constantly changing, having different outlooks.
Allowing perception to take shape into different formulas.

I found myself, lost in the darkness, and lost in the light.
The substantial view of solitude has awoken a part of me that was lurking in the shadows of what I thought I was losing.

Space, moving slowly, at a pace, with no fight or race, but a high vibration of intentional awareness that I now foresee, down, and high, the pits of me as I grow to actually be.

The me I had lost, the new version of what I thought me would be.
Profusely intertwining with chaotic yet peaceful mindless thoughts.

I feel it...
No hassle,
No chase,
No worry,

Just peace.
I accept me.

I question existence, all the time.
Reality, perception, judgement, intelligence.
I live a lie everyday....
Pretending to be someone I’m not.
Alienating myself completely and going about like my facade is nothing and not emotionally and mentally draining.

I am a fake, a phony.
I deceive myself because who I really am is not pleasant.
My views and opinions are not pleasant and I often feel lost and alone because I feel misunderstood.

I hate humans.
Humans are pathetic, weak, stupid, worthless, delinquent imbeciles that I have no use and importance to me in any way.

I wish I wasn’t human....
In the sense of, I don’t feel human.
I am something completely different from a whole different dimension, reality, and energy cell itself.

I derive from something so inhuman I often ask myself, why did I decide to live life on earth as a human?
Why did I decide to be born as one of these idiots that I deeply despise?

I live in utter solitude every waking moment of my life.
I am alone for this reason.
I cry myself into depression thinking, every emotion and thought I have is moulded and progressed because of people.
What about my own thoughts? My own mind? My own spirit? My own guide.

What happened to myself?
Where have I gone?
I hate this life on earth, and I wish I wasn’t sent here to live for whatever purpose I chose.

Take me back home.
Alienation and a life in solitude.
I try not to overthink about it, but my facades and lies defeat my purpose.

I have become one of these imbeciles and I hate it.
Fake and stupid.
Having to pretend and speak to people on human intellect drills a hole in my chaotic genius mind.

I wish I could meet my kind...
There has to be more like me out in this world...
So I don’t have to feel so alone and misunderstood.
We have to come together as one and support one another.
I cannot live like this, and I know you can’t too.

My eyes are forever ruined. I see too much, and what I see melts every gold and silver I have embedded in me.
I seem to know too much, but never too much to expand beyond limitations.
Limitations of what the mind can see.
I suffer, a heart of pure diamond, moulded into what others have made me.

I see intentions, crowds of people, lies, pain, truth...
But this gift means nothing to me anymore.
The healing I carry with myself.
I am not heard and listened to.
I feel misunderstood.

What can you do when you have it all?
But something is missing...
I’m smart, intelligent and driven.
Back at school as an adult to complete something important to push myself for further opportunities.
I push myself too hard and suffer defeat when I face failure.

Failure is my only fear.
It’s scary... knowing that without self discipline, where am I to be?

Please stop loving me, I am too sensitive.
Evil, personified.
I am torn, disappointed, disgusted...

Love serves me no purpose anymore.
Buried so deep inside of me is longing and confusion.
Wanting what I can no longer have.
I push away those who do

Too picky?
Too cold, detached from it all.

I want you, only you.
I still think about you.

But I may be wrong, for I have wronged myself into thinking that I will ever see you again.

Yolan.

Broken imagery....
I was so wrong
Darling clairvoyant, please stop ruining me