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Kenji King Jan 2021
Boredom...
My cause of unwanted toxicities.
It leads me to a dark part of reality that I cannot escape myself from.
Temptation leads me there and then I question my own defeat.
Transform, and rise again...
Mind games in a battle of self doubt.
My mind takes me everywhere, where darkness itself has no room for exploring.
I condone, then lose myself in it all.
I really wanna ****, so bad I can feel my ***** tingle and the thought of getting penetrated arouses me so deeply.
But I only want to *******, a friend...
Someone I am familiar with.

I let go of the past toxic mess that I attached myself too.
But you gonna be crawling back to me cuz you want me.
But trusting you isn't in my vocabulary.
Giving you a second chance doesn't exist in my world.
I don't do chances.

I need to ****...
To get you off my mind.
I need to feel free.
I crave *** ever so viciously.
I want it...
**** me...

(Moans gracefully)

Daddy, pull me in and never let go.
Kiss me passionately and hold me close.

My curtains are dripping and I feel the need to ****** with every touch.
Pounce on me and push me against wall.
So ****** ***** baby...
(Gasp)
I need more

I need my distraction...
But he doesn't seem to need me.
What a bore...
Kenji King Jan 2021
<There is a violent madness that hides inside all of us, some oppress the chaos, others live in denial.
Once in a blood moon, hidden in a dark room, vibrations of bedlem, a paracosm of two.
For the world that we see through a hidden marquee, a putrid stream for the mentally ill.
Yet with no hesitation, a dark star pulsating, you plunge into the void then pull me through.
Fret not for each thought gives birth to brilliance as we stir the cauldron of the sacred brew.
Blood and water, son and daughter, resilient to the universe we devour and consume.

>I wait silently.... hopelessly, for you.
As if your muse is not enough to pulsate me. My nerves twitch like a drug in your veins. Your words have me in thought everyday, as words really are your forte. Do I imagine it? Or question it? For the violent madness that runs beneath is only left for you to go deep. Living in chains has you so locked you stay stuck to my chaos like glue.
I hope you feel me like I feel you.

<Castration of inward vibrations...Reverberate through these impetuous echo halls. Catapult cadaverous over scrupulous normalities, I choke on every word I hold...
Let us baptize our divine ineptitude in a cauldron of glorious lore.
Most of them are oblivious to the revelation of rushing thunder.
Dripping needles, perfidious servitude teetering the precipice of war.
The voices in your thoughts are the same voices in mine. These voices whisper incantations in the darkness..
There are many in our dreams who watch us sleep, it is they who know us really well. For our talents with our words are hidden in the ink deep in a place we love to dwell. Yet still, it comes a surprise to me we are more than some choose to believe. With a flick of our pen, the stars light the night, we create worlds without even trying.

>If sirens could rush whispers in your soul, you would feel the drums of their forbidden thoughts... lost in hopeless misery, as it consumes your whole being, you feel nothing left but a desire to be, to yearn, to hold. As ever so captivating, thrilling. Can you feel me within you? Holding you down and longing for your mentality. I love to hear you, in words of lost beats

<Ever-so often I feel the rush, I hear the whispers, I feel the drums of passion hit. Each provocative thought and memory a glorious, forbidden, carnal gift. Deeply yearning to merge all emotions until the dock is crushed by the mighty ship. Splashing and churning, sweating and burning, enthralled, trembling and wet. And yet hopelessness and misery that inevitably follows, have left me broken and split. I am sorry to say I feel nothing now but chaos, fear, and regret.
< JDM
> Me

A collaboration with JDM , a sweet friend from California
Kenji King Jan 2021
I’m number ****** one....
No sympathy for your weakness...
Chicken ****...
Fumblin, Falling, I wanna see you hit bottom.
I wanna see you break your fall, I know your falling.
I wanna kick you when you down, yes I’m angry, yes I am...
**how quick I can switch
  Jan 2021 Kenji King
Saumya
Everything exists just because you're there to see them.
The mountains, the oceans, fields..All exist when you open your eyes.
Same goes for the people who hurt you, they exist only when you recognise them.
Kenji King Jan 2021
I want to feel it...
I want it so bad, it lingers when I think about it.
The touch, the taste, the wordless emotion and the vibe of pure depth.
The tongue flips on a page of lost wisdom.
How to feel now is neither questionable, nor transparent.
I feel nothing.
Flat out, bored...
My mind is destroyed
Kenji King Nov 2020
May it only be a dream... composed in one.
Nightmares shaking inside me.
I drown myself so deep, where the water begins to reap.
I love to hold you, to feel you, but who are you?
Where are you?
Why aren’t you here with me?
Why so distant?
Why haven’t I met you?

You don’t exist.

My imagination.
Stringing myself in my realms of pure intensity.
An ocean on fire ...
A war with no winning ...
A person with no belonging ...
A rage with no fist ...

Suppressed, inner rage, inner love, inner hate, inner sadnesses, inner longing, inner numbness, inner cold, inner emptiness.
Inner distractions....

I face them all at once.
Inner wisdom...
An old soul living in a fake world.
Take me out of here.
Kenji King Nov 2020
Is it really what I need?
Or is it what I want?
Do I need to control my habits?
I have been for so long, but I know what happens once I give in to them...
Indecisive, I can’t make up my mind.
I keep switching between different thoughts holding me back, trying to own me.

I pop all alone, for fun.
But it’s love what I seek.
To have someone whom like me, understands me.
Someone dark, intense, emotional, and passionate.

I crave it deep inside but I brushed it off completely letting go of the topic of lovin.
I incoherently, fell in love with the topic of sin.
I need it bad.

I’m feeling ****** and sensual.
I’m feeling seductive and flirtatious.
I want someone close whom I can share that with on a deep level.
I’ve only felt pain, bring the drugs, to numb me again.

Vain, cold veins shivering inside of me.
So detached, love is nothing to me.
Water flowing inside my lungs, fire in my heart, and a devil on my tongue.

I crave depth and intensity with someone.
Love me hard, even if it’s just for one night only.
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