If only I had known
it would be the last time I heard your voice,
I would have kept you up just a little bit longer.

If I had known
it would be the last time I told you I love you,
I would have said it hundreds of times over.

If I had known
it was the last time I was gonna hold you in my arms,
I would have held on tighter.

If I had known,
I would have done it all better.
Talked to you more, held you longer.

If I had known you had that gun,
I would have had one too.

How could I be so lost,
In a place I know so well?
How could I be so broken,
In a family so together?
How could I be so lonely,
Surrounded by so many?
How could I be so unhappy,
Surrounded by so much beauty?
How could I be me,
When even I remain a mystery?

In my world,
there is death,
sadness,
distrust,
hatred,
depression,
anger,
worries,
lim­its,
terror,
fights,
arguments,
and most importantly,
pain.
But I guess you don't care,
because in your world
it's the exact same,
but with a pretty cover page
that you use as a façade.

Will you come play with me up in my daisy tree?
Isn't it crazy we feel so elated
Just know that I hate it when you have to go

And know that I'll lose you
As soon as I choose to
I'll be the loneliest soul you'll ever know
The sweetest **** to break your heart
And the bluest moon to ever glow

I am swimming in a cup
Still warm but time is running up
The lid goes shut
The lights are off
I squeeze my knees
So I can fit

I am powder in a box
Next to Benjamin stuffed socks
Open the lid
Take me all in
Exhale, inhale
Now I'm inside

I am poison in a pool
You may drink; I'm always full
Go for a swim
Come take a dive
You drain your brain
To get me out

Sadness is like sipping sea drops drowning down the trench
Sadness is the stain of rain glazed moonbeams on a bench

Sadness is my soulmate; sadness she's my willing *****
Softly singing spirits sleep when sorrows are all spent

would I be depressed
if you were always by my side?
I know you are
there for me
but I need you to squeeze my arm
so I know that you are real
that I am
that everything is okay
but I know I can't really
depend my sanity
on another fragile being
together we are stronger
but what if we are
not
together