They are blue, my eyes.

They are blue
like my father's
like my grandfather's before him
They are blue.

They are blue
like my mood every January
like an unused pool in Fall
They are blue.

They are blue
like a brand new bicycle
like a tear in the shower
They are blue.

They are blue
like a berry
like the last view I had of your body
They are blue.

They are blue, my eyes.

Hardly a day passes by
that I don't see
your mad purple eyes.
Northern girl,
you wandered into me.

I saw your stars,
angry with silver
fall into the earth's atmosphere
with fire,
and it felt like a kiss.

You are not here now,
and the years pass slow
a long dark highway.

Without you,
sparks never reach full flame
I hear echoes of our orange laughter
lost in a hallway with doors that lead to static grey.

Just a light that doesn't fade
Just a warmth on winter days
Just a drink that quenches thirst
Just a dance now on the surf
Just a boy
Just a girl
Just a dress and hair with curls
Just a swim in a deep blue wake
Just a lust for heaven's sake!
Just a taste of cherry cola
Just a touch on sunkissed shoulder
Just a kiss, but where it leads
Just a longing
Just a need
Just me grasping your warm hand
Just forever, in the sand

When I last saw you,
your eyes were golden.
Puzzles I couldn't piece together,
a lake that shot back my own reflection,
not letting me see the deepness of you.

When I last saw you,
your hands were oak trees
hiding roots that dropped to the pit of the earth,
holding your meditations delicately close to you,
careful not to show
your great glimmering ships
carrying blue and low songs,
weeping dirges for a winter Sunday,
a red Grief that wakes you in your sleep,
adding the slight storm I see in your smile.

When I last saw you,
your eyes were golden.

here we are again
walls, white
cotton sheets
teal socks with the tread

we share small talk
i ask about home
things are the same there

i tell you about my bedmate
she thinks she's satan
it's all up from here

when you leave
i sit down to dinner
a jail meal

it drips from the mute's lips
who sits staring
at the table diagonal from me

she is afraid of dogs
i, a dog
bite a dry piece of bread
and cough

in this lowland we halt and look up to the sun
but see only a black sky

and when you ask
are you getting better
the response
yes

is for you

take from me this white rose
her sunken eyes
follow me across my room
where I am seated at my desk
her pale hands play at the skin of my wrists
and her mocking laughter eats at my joy

she is the bird
perched on a branch above my bed
her lullaby, a nightmare
tossing me awake from my dream
her teeth rip at my chest
I am young
I am young
I say
and she, with her cool rasp
breathes a death rattle into my lungs

you are old
you are the night
you are mine

Now I know,
how I can see the sun.
It is not my eyes
that take in the rays,
it is you
buying us Mike and Ike candies in the morning
on the way to school
you saying,
"Now, don't tell your mom!"
all four of us banging our heads
to classic rock.

Now I know,
how I can feel
It is not my skin
that senses the sand on the beach,
it is you
taking me to my first scuba dive
so proud of your daughter
Me, a fish!
The only one who didn't ***** on the boat.

Now I know,
It is not my heart
that feels the morning
after a dark night.

It is you, Dad, it is you.