Eight-
In a general store,
the middle of nowhere.
I stared at toys,
oblivious to the stranger too close.
A hand on my backside,
a rub and squeeze.
The cops huffed,
'are you sure it wasn't an accident?'
'Is it really that important?'
Suddenly I knew shame.

Twelve-
Last day of school,
cornered in an empty classroom
by my lifelong bully.
He tore my pink shirt,
grabbed me where Trump would have.
My father helped.
Did what he could.
Told me it wasn't my fault.
But the teacher,
a male who never liked my voice,
groaned in private,
'this will ruin that poor boys life.'
But what about me?

Sixteen-
A class full of people,
feeling pretty as a rare treat.
A boy with a knife
sitting too close,
hand inching up my thigh.
A malicious smile
with a dangerous whisper,
'spread your knees.'
I never told,
It had hardly mattered before.
But that's the last time
I wore a skirt to school.

Eighteen-
The officer taking my prints
made me cringe as he lingered.
His compliments made me shudder
but I told myself I was paranoid.
Leading me to a cell
he offered me a private room
leering as he mentioned
I wouldn't feel alone.
I almost laugh now
at his offer to pay me with juice.
But a year later at the hearing
his lude claims were loud enough
for everyone to hear.
A court room full of people
heard him brag about things
he never did.
Only one person shut him down
without even a word.
Simply a glare of digust
that I was too scared to give.

i hear that you were with someone new. i want to say to the girl to watch out because you were just like the devil in disguise i know that sounds crazy but i’ve heard stories that the devil is beautiful but you cannot be fooled by his beauty because on the inside he is just waiting for the perfect moment to get what he wants and leave. he will make your relationship great at first. he’ll kiss you gently and let you make all of the decisions but as soon as he sees that you are getting comfortable he will turn his back and he will either kiss you only when he needs to or he won’t kiss you at all and then he’ll take away every right you have in the relationship and you’ll think that it’s just him having a bad day and that it’ll pass but, sweetie it won’t. he will take everything that you have and will make you feel terrible but you won’t leave because you think that he loves you and that he is having a moment but that’s not it. you got too comfortable. once you do something he doesn’t like such as hang out with people he doesn’t like or wearing make up because it makes you look ugly he’ll take everything that you have gave him and every secret you told him and he will use it against you. he will hurt you. make you cry. tear you in half and he will feel satisfaction. he will be happy seeing that he won and he made you cry. but you won’t leave because he “loves” you. he will apologize and you will accept it because you “love” him. but the thing is there’s a difference between “i’m sorry” and “sorry”. he doesn’t mean it because he will keep doing it until he hurts you so badly and you realize that he didn’t love you but it’s already too late because you pushed away everyone else because he told you to and you did because you “loved” him so you will be left sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing wondering why you didn’t see it earlier. you will come to me for advice and i will give you this. i will know exactly what you’re feeling because he did that exact same thing to me.

Repeat
It's like we're stuck on it
Somebody jammed the remote button
And now we're stuck in circles
Going around and around and around

It's like we're in a tornado
Always opposite of one another
Coming so close
But never close enough

You're drowning
Sinking down into your own depression
And I'm floating
Unable to let out enough oxygen
To sink and save you

But do I want to sink?
Do I want to go back to drowning
Just to save you?
Is it really worth that much pain?

If you asked me this last year,
I would have said yes
But I didn't know
What being happy felt like
And now that I am happy
I don't want to let it go

So we're stuck on repeat
Spinning in circles
Around
And around
And around

Neither of us wants to give up
Neither of us wants to leave
Even though we both know
That it might be best for us to let go

Poetry,
Started out as a hobby,
Encouraged by family,
Write on topics variety,
Started with topics like,
Sleep,dream,summer,music,my bike,
I realised what gives my poems emotions,
I write about my life,
About love,
About death,
About happiness,
And sadnesses,
Later did I realise,
Poetry,
Went from a hobby,
To a therapy.

I will tell my daughters

always come home to yourself

your worth is not only in your body

it is in your spirit, the stardust

flecked across your skin

I will tell my sons

never become a wolf

never devour flesh

and forget a woman’s name

say her name like a prayer

cry oceans and taste saltwater on your lips

for when you break and fall

you can rebuild and stand

for that is how you both will learn to love