Its been so long
sang a sorrow song
ti'll tomorrow
start over
where'd we last left off?
forget it
lets make this new
lets laugh
do anything
angels voice
filled with poise
forget the noise
its just us here

All little girls want toys
The toys
They grow attached to them
But toys break
Toys break to easily

toys are fragile
But girls
Are also fragile
They will cry
And cry

Hoping for someone to care
But no one does
Because its just a toy
But girl she'll cry

She'll say its not fair
And if she cries enough
She'll get a new toy
Or at least thats what she must think

All toys become broken at some point
But theres always glue to fix them
So instead of crying little girl
Fix it

Or your toys will stay broken.

society has drugged some people into the idea that if we have money we will be happy
Turning people into brainless hungry zombie
Never having a enough
Always searching the lowest of wastelands for more

Society has built us into soldiers
Robotic and grey
Gave of us the ability to make choices
But put us on restricted mode
the robots are slowly turning to rust
Yet they march forever more

Society has given a dystopia
Out of a utopia
By making us feel like we have choices
distracting us
Lying  and saying
That everything fine
But the air is ash
And our minds are trash

the modern apocalypse

Its a new day
step out of my shadows
my curtains made of tears
stepping into the light might bring fear
but I can feel the warmth
a new start
but this may be the hardest part

hello there
"stand back"
close your eyes
Just relax
we can make this quick and
painless
it'll be fast
its easier
to just hide
live behind a mask and resign
"thats true it it"
"but I want to live"
they will tear you apart
"and you'll just fade me away"
come close
"but at the end of the day"
don't go
it'll only be pain
"I'd rather let them tear me apart, then lose to myself"

theres
still
hope

as her hands typed away
To the words of mournful poem
She bleed ink
Because at this point
All she is
Are words trying to escape anyway they can

to a poet it may just be red ink

take my eyes
force down everything you see
force everything that isn't me
all around
theres to much sound
when your quite
just add to the production
of this factory
polluting my lungs
in every song sung
i've been hung
suffocating
breathings all right

Nothing works
Nothing changes
Just the same blank, dead faces
Same tears
Yet more fear
Watch them laugh
Watch them cry
Stuck in a circle
They won’t pry
Let go
hear a simple

“no”

i know its wrong but
a part of me loved watching your downfall

"your pretty much nothing"
well that wasn't very nice
"i'm not here to be nice i'm here to do my job"
and that is?
"telling you what your doing wrong"

and i can't be mad that my conscience is doing its job
and maybe i need to do a better job of doing mine
but its hard
i'm in a constant state of being frozen
my head is frozen
but my bodies animated
trying to distract you

and as much as i try
these dark thoughts won't leave
and ive considered
pushing my wardrobe to long sleeves

but this cant be
i've always been happy
denail
i've always made others happy
i wish i could just make everyone happy
i'm doing great at my job
your failing at it
i'm failing at it

i can't even talk to people without my conscience
budding in
and maybe this is just a punishment
for all that i've so called "sinned"

but conscience please give me a break
i don't want today
to end up
my death date

I'm tired of pain
I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of my excuse
"at least I'm trying"
because to be honest
I think I'm lying
I gave up
long ago
trying to convince you that it isn't so
but you know the truth
I'm trying to convince myself
because there no one else

And though my heart will go on forever more my body can not stay ,
I can’t  push it to go further,
it can't venture on anymore any further.
And while some will bow their heads in what the say in rembreant
but all they’ll remember is how she cried all the time.
She was such a bright girl how could she not make it,
and standing next to them is the person who thought they had faked it,
when she just couldn't take it,
and though she tried to replace it all
Push it down where no one could trace it
She couldn't
It stared her in the face
And locked her in place
In the empty streets she called her mind
At this point she knew she was running out of time
But all she could muster was “ I’m fine”
But look at her eyes. Such a nice shade of blue ,
  They look good on the girl who wanted to forget all she knew.
Then there's some who knew she turned to pills and felt no empathy,
just another druggy
She did it herself!
but the girl only had herself and no one else and the pills dulled the pain,
but it's hard to keep up when you feel you're going insane.
She stood out on the balcony one day and thought this was her chance to make the pain go away.  
She didn't know what to say
I mean it her last moment she thought
“I Should have something profound to exclaim”
So she looked straight into the sky
But no one could hear her
So it came out a whisper
all the kids hated her and despised, and they said she was better off dead
and though it hurt, she knew it was wrong
but this a democracy and majority rules
and she looked off to the sky only asking herself why
,but it was to late know she knew, all she could feel was this urge she grew
so she stepped up the banister , it couldn't last.
and with one step it was all gone so fast.
And now shifting eyes on her casket
Tears drippings
Though no one spoke
The silence talked and talked

And in the distance they heard the whisper of the wind
And a shudder down their spine
The wind uttered in their ears
Faint, a beg or cry
A plea
“Could you write a happy ending please”

“Can you write a happy ending please”

“Just a happy ending please”

look at the chart
what do you see
not just glance
stare
pretend that you care
that you have a chance

Stare and stare
this just isn't fair
but look they say
just look at it
tell me what you see

theres blotches
of black ink
they want to see
what these blotches
mean to me

oh wait
no
get away from me
the monsters
the monsters on the page
there telling me things
there filled with rage
i don't want to watch anymore
They hate being locked in a cage
they want to get out

look at the page
pretend that you care
maybe then you'll never again sit in that chair

oh god
they want me
they want us
they want to
p
    l
a    
     y

shush go to sleep now
you've done your part
you did a good job
staring at the c h a r t

she had a chance to make us sane
to bad little sally ran away
but its ok
its ok

its not like our minds are falling a
                                                              p
                                                         a
                                                                   r
                                                           t
the longer and longer
the doctors make us stare at the
c h a r t
but were smart
the only problem
is that we don't know where to start

we wait for sally
to make us sane
to bad little sally
has ran away

our rooms are soft
sally said like clouds
padded softly
for when the voices get loud

little sally
why so blue?
miss sally
what did we do to you

she had we chance to make us sane
to bad miss sally
has ran away

huh?
oh its you
well welcome back i guess
i see that your actually willing to put my sanity to the test
well before you start
you should know this job will be a whole mess
my name?
well you just get straight to it!
call me
what you think i am
however you would wish to personify me
sit down over on that chair
its understandable if your scared
but you must be built for this stuff aren't you?
not many people can walk into a psychopath room,
i mean from what i assume
well don't just sit there!
show me a chart
or
ask us a question
oh? i'm sorry i meant me
ask me a question
or leave to my padded cell
because unless your going to help
might as well let the voices drag me down to hell

i'm tired of all you brainless
heartless cowards
yeah you hid behind curtain
because your never certain
you'll get away with  it

but you got no power
i've seen more strength
in a ******* a flower
so hide behind your curtain

because i'll  run the show

i'm sorry darling but i seem to be melting
oh?
well lets not forget
your the one that put the pressure
to bring the "heat" as you call it
well we appear to be melting in our own toxicity
well, isn't that a shame darling
we built our own demise
by the ones we tried pushing onto each other
painfully
brutefully
digustingly
but hence not forget
beautifully
lovingly

I don't mind melting darling, really
as long as we do it together

Is dead the new alive?
Because I dead
I know in my heart
Ive died many years ago
That this isn’t real
I’m dead
A ghost to live along the streets
Yet I’m breathing
My hearts beating
Yet where am I
Im lost
Dead
And its going to stay that way
But I’m here
Theres a new “Me”
The original lost 10 years ago
To be replace
By a not so perfect clone

I'm not sad
I'm not mad
I'm just disappointed

You lie
So your sinner

You don't eat
Your getting thinner

You disappointed me, because you can't focus your state of mind

Well it's time
I've had enough
Get your **** together
Or get out

Don't be a waste of space

Sincerely, your inner self hate

Do I need you to survive?
yes!
Is that a lie?
no!
Put your love to the test
Can you survive longer than the rest?
Oh its such a mess!
But, hey!
maybe it'll be all
ok
maybe you really deserve to
stay

hey doll,
wanna play?

"thats all you had to say"

As we walk down this corridor
We are no more
just toys
Not allowed to make noise
Perfect and poise

But this dolls tattered gown
Left her with a frown
So she decided to search the play town
Just to find
The townsfolk
Have lost their mind

No one to fix her dress
She'd never be the best
Barbie would replace porcelain
With time the cracks in her skin
We're wearing her thin

Shush pretty thing
Don't speak
Just drift to sleep

Im trapped in a world
completely fake
but hey, its a pretty place
with oceans fars the eye can see
but there to many people drowning
screaming, frowning
I guess not all of us can swim
or there being pulled down from sin
want as much as you can take
I only wish this world was really fake
six feet below the ground
its our fate
wish this was fake
but hey lets have a happy
unhappy playdate
sit on the beach
building our castles
just for the ocean to knock it down
I guess the sharks
wear the crown

to my light
my lover
a flower that has bloomed
nothing could ever be
as lovely as you
I'm afraid to say
what I'm going to do
you want me to hold on
to what
a crumbling edge?
I wanna flip the page
better yet re-write it
let all of this burn away
but I know
it can't be that way
so instead I will keep on marching
till my soles are red
and I can write these poems
with what they have bled
and say what really needs to be said
"I'm not as strong as you think I am"
but I promise

I'm going to stick to this edge
until theres nothing left to do
but fall right into your arms once more

my lovely blooming flower

are you fine?
yes of course, don't worry

my fridge is stocked
thats a good thing right?
unless its the same food
for a week, un touched in the slightest

you wont eat
"are you anorexic, my friend?"
"yes" the words flow into me like a million blades in my blood
but i smile and say, i'll help you

you start to eat
your getting better
my best friend is getting better

my friend..."your fat"

i remember saying that to you
all those years ago
i started this

i hear the sound of gagging filling the halls
i run to you there
besides the toilet
face expressionless, eyes cold

how could you?

you lie down, and i remember that its my fault

this is all my fault , right?
yes
i'm sorry
pretty late isn't it?
what do you mean?
i'm already dead

and with that theres a pounding in your head
there tears in your eyes
and you realize
this is all a lie

when i thought you were getting better, it was a way to cope with the fact that you had died
i lied-
to myself
to you

guilt, turns a person mad and forces them into the truth
even if they cant mange to swallow it

i feel cold
i feel like i'm stuck in a hole
i feel like i'm dying
wait- no i feel something different
a yearn, a want
a plead for death
its my fault
its all fualt
i feel guilty
when i've done nothing wrong
now they've got me on meds
i don't want to be happy
if i'm not really happy
but instead being ****** over in the head

your filthy
you reek of  individuality
how dare you be such a mess
don't worry society can fix
after all they fixed all the other kids

with there blank stares
they confom
because now they don't care

now run along to the washing machine
and clean yourself up

but i don't want to go in the machine
its an hour
of turning and turning
over agian
till your rid of all stench

years later
i miss your mess
i miss the stench
and now i'm alone
once more
now your a shiny mirror
you only mimick
you conform

conformity is the biggest diseases  we face. it can **** an individual and only leave a husk

why would I give you my heart?
ha!
you'll have fun tearing it apart!

Your late
take a seat
with all the hate
take your place
you have history project
look back
what are the bad things they did
that they failed to hid
what happened to all the sins
stand up for a pledge
that leads you off a ledge
there ain't no hall pass
with life

lets get this straight
to be fine
is to be be ok
to be ok
is to not be upset
or sad
or mad
but to be just ok
its to be in a satisfying mood

when you and i say
we are fine
we are spitting on the dictionary
we are getting rid of what that word means
what its supposed to mean

when you hear us say
we are fine
you will see us crying
slowly dying
and just trying
to hold on

but were letting go
but we hide behind the word fine
well, we did
but now you know

to be honset
to be fine
is to be to lost in denial
to want to let you acknowledge the pain

I’m hooked on emotion
A midnight devotion
I’ll laugh and weep
and cry myself to sleep
Have a good time
A life filled with emotional crime
Honey ,I don’t owe you dime