I’m crying everyday
And I’m so happy :)

Oh, I’m so numb since you left me.
I can’t feel, I’ve been in the empty,
Protecting my heart for so long.
But I’m not feeling strong.

you called me your sunshine,
but my solar rays brought heat waves
you weren’t ready for

I used the word love pretty loosely
I barely know just what it means
But I know you want to lose me
So I guess I’ll let it be

How can I give you what you need,
If I must take parts of me
To make you happy?

I drop fragments of my gem
As I drop pieces of clothing
to please.

You or I, I cannot tell.

Your wants and my wants have become one in the same.

No differentiation.

I feel small in your world,
so I take a step back into mine
only to realize you consume all my world
And all my space
And all my time
And all my mind.

The sickeningly sweet kiss of death softens the bitter blows of life
Happiness slips into unbridled joy
Your touch remains ingrained in my brain indefinitely
Love flows freely to all I see

You missed the train today it seems
You seem to miss a lot of things
The way his eyes rolled side to side
That killer smile miles wide
The way the waves caress the shore
Leave you wanting so much more
But more does not exist for you
He’s gone for good this much is true

A bitter taste upon my tongue reveals that you are near.
Cleansing flames fueled by rage ***** out bits of fear.
I scream and shout my call to arms knowing you won’t hear,
Or understand my battle cry; there is no love lost here.

Oh, how grateful I am for this pain that brings with it clarity,
That these tears welling up leave a trail of joy,
That I have weathered these tempestuous cries from the skies and still I rise,
With a sense of longing that I’ve never had before.
A desire for more;
The greatest gift that I have ever given myself.

I see god
In the way the sunlight
Shines through the tree tops
On this warm windy day

Truth be told,
I do not know what will happen
The future is a sly, elusive construct.
It may be you and me against the world.
Or me against you.
I hope for neither,
But expect both.

One look at you and
The crack in my heart begin to fill

I see storms in your eyes,
Longing for cloudy skies,
And the sight of your Emerald Isle.
But try as I might, I can not fight,
The urge to ask you to smile.

Words elude me.
The pain I feel in your wake is indescribable.
My heart feels as though it left this world with you.
Oh I wish to indulge you in every whim.
Sparing nothing, not even the world.
Knowing that you’d be content with only the softest of caresses,
I wonder,
Is it possible that I would be even more pleased than you?

My comfort holds me in the crook of her arm. My own arms draped around her neck. My comfort appears at the end of a very long day. Right before bed time. My comfort shows me sights unseen and memories to last a lifetime.  My comfort sings me songs I’ll never forget. I sing them today in the shower. My comfort’s love is felt from near and far. I hear her whisper ‘I love you’ while hard at work. My comfort always figures it out. Her touch is seen everywhere I look; it’s as if she built the whole world itself. My comfort’s support is strong as steel. With her I may stumble, but never fall.

For Sonya

I thought I heard hate in your heart
Maybe it’s just me
I flash my teeth to blind my hurt
It doesn’t work
all it does is fade a little

When the feeling wells up
I feel warmth,
I feel safe... almost

But eventually I feel scared too.
Of what I’m not sure.
Losing,
Never having at all,
Trying.

Holding,
Kissing,
Feeling.

Feeling.
Feeling like I could blink and this would all disappear.
Are you here?

I hope so; because you make me smile
and I think,
I want this.

My arms are yours to wrap yourself in
My fingertips will caress your scalp as you slip into a somber slumber
I will give all I am to you
You will give me less than nothing
I will take it
I don’t need much
I’ve never needed much

The days have begun to blend
Day seems like night
Don’t mind light
It won’t tell you anything anyway

I feel my body reverberates as the earth turns
under me the ground is hot, and
My skin is blistering, I look up
And the wonders of the cosmos are in my peripheral as we crash into the sun.
Falling forward into the oblivion.
A super cut of all the world across all time
I see every living thing evolve.
Every incarnation of the life we’ve shared.
This moment has happened throughout the ages,
I glance over and we are hand in hand, floating in limbo.

Our fingers, interlaced.
I am transported.
Our eyes, locked.
We are in a space known to us alone.
Our hearts beat in unison.
An experience is created.
Here we will brave the end of days...
Tranquil.
Consciously ignorant.

A beautiful rose,
Comes from the sprout of a seed,
Which was planted into pristine earth,
Which was once, without water, a dry heap of dirt.

Every action you take,
Is curated by a lack of
                                                                      “What!?”
You bare your teeth.
I am snapped out of my daydream...
                                                             Who hurt you,
I say in my head as not to provoke you.
but i know who.
and i am amongst them.
                                                           and I am sorry...
                                                                      I hurt too sometimes
                                                            and sometimes They Hurt Too.

When the wind blows and sings it’s icy song,
It will take with it the dust of who I once was in your memory.
My voice will then be a sour sound you can’t stand.
My heart will become a stone that never beat.
Not even once.
My words, no matter how beautiful will all become lies.
A coward with a spirit that attracts the greats, will always be a lonely one.

The sound of something new echoes in the footfalls of your retreat.
It is loud at first.
I hold my ears.
However,
the sound slowly becomes a song I will have on repeat for the rest of my days.
A song that will become an anthem for this chapter in my life.
A song I will show the children of my children and watch their mouths agape,
mystified by the wonders life can hold.

And I will whisper into my palms what I cannot say to you.
Because even though my heart knows you care,
My mind will not believe it.

Bringer of after,
I am not afraid.
For I am dying to know,
What is on the other side.

It cannot be helped, the passage of time.
Years feel like days,
Days like minutes,
And minutes just seconds.
The end of time is near.
What was once thought to be never ending,
Ends.
We mourn possibility and cherish memories.
How beautiful,
To have lived such an ugly life

Are you there?
My heart longs to know.
O, how I’ve missed you.
Do I dare turn my head?
Do I stray from the path that is in front of me?
To see if you follow.
To steal a gaze would be to lose sight of you.
And yet I find myself unable to control my body...
I weep as you are pulled back down into the underworld.

Offer me the windows to your soul.
Gaze upon the glory that is the glow that you have created within me.
And as if looking into a mirror,
I will do the same.