and i wish i could slit my wrists and
write about you in the note
to tell the entire world about
the monster you are.
you wouldn't even be able
to argue because it would be
your word against a
dead girl's --
but you're not worth it.
god, you've never been worth it

i wish i could go back to the night where
i decided to settle for you
and knock some sense into myself
snakes shouldn't lie with
doves. they swallow them whole.
i know that now
i wish i knew it then

i'm done thinking about you
in waves of cuddly, familiar nostalgia
i'm done thinking about you
and wishing i could go back
i never want to go back
it wasn't cuddly when you pushed me
into the corner and slapped me across
the face like
you were my mother
(familiar, but not cuddly --
you stopped being cuddly
when you realized i would
fight back)

you're funny because you love
to throw the blame and shame
at me for starting fights
when i never notice
you come around unless
i say something incriminating
you're absent unless you're
defending yoruself

I wish people worked like clocks
They can be tall
Short
Loud
Quiet
They can be digital
They can be old-fashioned
They can be dressed up
Or even a little bare
And when they break
You can tell
And you can fix them
And make them all better

There is still a part of me that will always be a child.
I do not think there will be a time where I will lose her,
That part of me who needs to be looked after.

I have spent so long now trying so hard to independent.
The days I go hungry because it is only me who will cook,
They will always be a part of me.

I take solace in the knowledge I can always go home,
But the day will come when home is what I have built for myself,
And the only person who will cook for me is me.

Thoughts racing, heart chasing.
You're mad, I'm sad.
Can't stop shaking, there's no faking
When I see you in the halls,
I stall, hide behind a pillar, a friend, anything
Just to avoid the awkward eye contact.
I'm not good at confrontations, at the mere thought of it I flee..
You might think I'm crazy or immature,
But when you told me to stop talking to you my mind went a blur..
My friends say you're overreacting, over something so small.
I fear you'll dump me, leaving me lonely..
I'm so sorry.. Please forgive me?

There is a sleep so light
that it rests upon my brow
ever so careful no to slip into my eyes
and I hear its laughter
on my thoughts that have no meaning
or reason
And when it notices
my tears
it takes pity on me
and holds my eyelids down
with the weight of its love
That’s how morning comes
and finds me,
clinging to the sleep,
clinging to the life,
that will soon leave me.