Heart's can be broken,
Having never felt loved.

Like snowflakes that melt,
Having never felt sun.

The platform is quiet when I arrive.
The walk home is long.

The road is busy with lights, but no faces.
I should have worn gloves.

Nearly there now.
Someone's home but nobody was waiting.

I pull a smile out my pocket and drop my keys,
Then I listen to words about the day.

My bed brings solitude,
While questions crawl behind my eyes.

Scraping inside my skull, they're familiar,
And I drift off on their backs.

When the day becomes muffled through the wall,
I slowly lower my guard.
Shimmering memories preface the fall,
How distant you are.

I was vulnerable when you came,
With little worth and scared to love.
But your gentle soul made me the same,
Open arms and stars above.

Spectral thoughts assumed your form and danced away my grief.
Your empathic mind mirrored mine and challenged my beleifs.

Of course it was too perfect, too simple and pure.
As our chance came you pushed away.
Sick love with no cure.

And so our paths diverged and your beauty found by others.
Bitter Envy, pain and loss,
Secrets beneath the covers.

Still so present and close but held forcefully far,
I know you see my scars.
We both hold that weight, knowing what we could of been

and living what we are.

When its darker,
My heart fills with dread.
I feel safe surrounded by beautiful reflections, illuminating my world.

In the flick of a switch they disolve into inky black and Like a cat poised to attack,
It waits.

Round every corner, behind every door.
The floor creaks as i creep through the night.
I know theres no danger in the lack of light,
I'm safe.

Its not physical, the threat that waits.
Its something that cant be described,
my fears personified.

Staring at me through the dark night
Right into my blinded eyes.
No longer distracted by vision, my pain surrounds me.

Awake.

The things i didnt do.

The things i havent said.

The frantic face of sadness, desperate and cold.

I can't see it, but its formless gaze haunts my dreams.

I can feel its breath on my neck.

When its darker.

All outcomes exist,
In the sea of potential.
There must be an end to this,
When the empty space is full.

The hand of the actual sifts through its murky waters, projecting its favourites into the back of your head.

From your head to your hands,  a thought drifts,
We choose to act upon it,
And through time we shift.

Once you choose you cant go back.
A fleeting decision is a fork in the track on which life races.

Death waits after each and every one.

But how many roads wait for me,
Theres no way to see them,
I keep breathing.
As long as my hearts beating,
          I try not to fall off the one im on.