Lexi - Hello Poetry

Nov 2017

Iska

My dearest mother

do you see it?
that's the space put between us,
filled with unspoken words and heartache.

can you hear it?
that's the defining silence,
filled with quiet disappointment and shattered dreams,
because I'm not the girl you hoped I'd be...

#mom #sad #dissapointed #depression #daughter

Lexi Nov 2017

Don't, Can't and Won't

I don't want anyone ever to hold me the way you do
     You make me feel okay, whole, through and through
           I don't want anyone to know my ****** expressions and voice like you
               I don't want anyone to know my family the way you do
                       I don't want anyone to understands my thoughts and reasons
                              I don't want anyone to understands my weird meanings
                                       I don't want anyone to ever know why I do what I do

I don't want anyone to know because that's something between me and you.
       I don't want anyone to make me laugh and be so mad at the same time.
               I don't want anyone else. No one knows who how much I want you to be mine
                      I don't know why part of me keeps ******-well lying!
                                I don't know why I can't give up! Is it because I'm trying to keep the thoughts of us together intact? A beautiful fantasy?! Doesn't matter! I still end up I finding myself trying!

I don't want to trust anyone the way I trust you.
         I don't want to love another the way I love you!

Maybe it's not that I don't. Maybe it's more along the lines of "I can't" because I can't see myself being with someone else it makes me sick.

#sick #mine #gone #boyfriend #ka #alone #love #hurt #pain #trying

Lexi Nov 2017

10 word poem? Maybe?

Poetry is my self harm, you guys are the endorphins.

Does this count as a 10 word poem??

#selfharm #poetry #endorphin #drug #body

Lexi Nov 2017

This girl

Her hair messy, plastered over her face by tears.
Her eyes red and puffy.
Her mouth open and screaming.
Her voice raw with pain.
Her throat dry and on fire.
Her arms feel anchored to her sides.
Her knuckles are ****** and swollen.
Her heart and her mind are bleeding with hope.
Her stomach feels like a can that's been crushed.
Her legs--think they're still there, she can't feel them.

This girl is broken but not in a sense that she needs to be put back together, no, this girl is broken in a way where she can't give up. She can't stop having hope. This girl is cursed.

#knuckles #bleeding #voice #raw #throat #heart #scresming #ka

Lexi Nov 2017

Experiment

I will not tell you anything that is wrong
My ****** expressions and tones will not betray
I will keep this up, I don't know for how long
I guess I'll keep doing this till you see I'm okay
Deep down I think you think I'm a lot to handle and I'm sorry.
I'm going to be the worlds most fake person and see where it gets me.

#fake #you #experiment #hope #together #ka

Lexi Nov 2017

Reasons

Do you actually have to have a reason to **** yourself? Why do you have to explain your reasons? What if you have none? Why would I tell you if I wanted to **** my self.

Y o u w o u l d s t o p m e

#suicide #stop #me #goodbye #allgone #death

Lexi Nov 2017

Look at me!

I am naked.
Not physically but emotionally.
Please don't look at me.
Not right now.
Don't you see these scars?
Turn around.
My mind is broken.
My heart is scared.
My emotions in plain sight, my soul is bared
I am naked.

.

i kinda fixed this poem a bit..

#scars #scared #naked #emotionally