Little horizontal linings, with bountiful treasures finding , happiness between the walls of tidings.unwinding the fact we're all crying , inside an it's denying the lying .
The here and now in my Little House of hell, words may tell , but moral of the story is , I'm unwell. This Little House is small these days , as if I fell . Looking up at things , I just can't tell. I try to be one with all , but I realized we are in hell . There aint no way out , dying , happens to be a dream without a doubt . Where no screams or shouts , can be heard even when it came from your heart and you felt,.... out.
And just came back to the same Little House.

Some days im as small as a frog apon a log , others I feel like a hog , even comes to eating hot dogs . Some weeks my head's filled with a ton of bees . And other weeks I want to be as old as a tree . A month goes by and I'm being swat at like a fly , I duck and Dodge cause I just ain't that kinda guy .  But even when I'm black and grey , I think of myself as a raccoon eating apple pie , when it's apple pie trash day . You know what I'm saying ? the babboon part comes later, right after I sun bath like a alligator. weird right? as weird as a platypus's mirror .or even how dogs cry tears. they feel , they hear , they can learn somehow to cope with fear. as like wolf chasing deer. even they know their never always prepared. the more I swim through life , I realized, I am one with all , there isn't cutting ties . I'm the same human being trying to get by , just like all of life . built to survive , we just need the drive .

So it has really ended , the life I knew , the life I befriended. some how I knew as time passed on and... it torn me .
I got to get this out , cause thoughts of just blipping out , without a scream or shout . are coming to mind again , it's all I'm starting to think about .
my ole town , my ole house . ripped through space , with out a trace , without a doubt. and I'm lost now. Looking at the blue skies with no happiness in mind .trying to relive all those better times , but no matter how much I search , I cannot find . you used to be my Devine . Now I'm lonely , Knowing my heart already been given . currently drifting with time .
Sorry....really? No not really , I took your floors , your walls , and your cieling! oh , I know but how are you feeling ? I don't want to get into this with you again , I don't care about feelings! And yet you left when it was only the beginning ... you can have my floors , my walls , and my ceiling . but you will never take away my feelings. FOREVER AN ALWAYS not so appealing? then don't ever lie to me and say those type of things . you destroyed every last part of me . and you live happily. really I'm glad , I love you , but your not sorry .
I'll carry on with a devotion, to never bring up these kind of emotions. my life now is just like the coasts .it's likely to be long as hell with waves of things to cope with . I'll send you things from afar , and hopefully don't get emotionally **** kicked . and probably drink everyday until I get sick . at least with out your brightness ,I'll always be lit. how can love be so counterfeit . every last good **** part of it . I'll remember it.  I'll throw a fit.  I'll cut myself off and climb myself out of this pit. I hope you see the darkest skies , when I realized how misunderstood I get . that darkest moon will soon be my sunset . forgive me as I forget .
let me wonder , let me plunder , let me sit out in the rain and thunder . think of days when they were filled with laughter . Of the girl I always dreamed of going after . smile ...cheers ... Happy Never After...

Am I fooling myself when I start to feel again.
can't I remain numb until my times end .
cause this feeling is tearing me up, unwilling to mend.
today and yesterday it started all over again .
why can't I be my only friend .  
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This negativity has become a part of me .
once in a blue moon it rises to be .
and I see it when everything around me.
starts fade away like the bubbles in my tea .
just lonely as can be .
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Something has changed .
somehow I ceased to being deranged.
everything is starting to feel estranged.
I want my box , where it's cold and grey.
that's where I'll remain , I'll stay , where I get away.
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Please forgive my heart for spilling .
it was overflowing with the process of healing.
some times it's worth not just having a wall , but a ceiling.
to stop the overwhelming feeling.
that I'll never touch another soul , cause you tore me open with to many holes .
and even now my heart continues leaking .
it's all so decieving.

Hey you , I got this flower for you to hold
It's not the most beautiful , but it'll last through the cold .
Even when there's a drought , it will never grow old
It will remain to make sure these stories are told

Once in awhile you could set it on the ledge
And forget it was there , like containing a wedge
In-between two objects, with a indecisive pledge
But in those times , i'd hope you'd take it off that ledge

Gaze upon it and see your reflection
Cause your a gift like this flower is of my affection
Your too beautiful for even my recollection
Second guessing never existed

And when its petals finally wilt
Spray it down with your feelings of guilt
Let it know how horrible it felt
Give it love and water , like you know it needs help

But forgive it for all the smiles it has dealt
It's a flower , it's Beauty is made to melt
Your response to it , is my love in a nut shell
And this is the story this flower will never grow old to tell .

There is peace that I am feeling
sting of my skin peeling
all your love in my blood, leaking
my world is spinning
out of control, what is this meaning?
really I need revealing
so I can start my healing
finally build my home again
this time with a ceiling
to stop all this raining
cause I'm soaked , and tired of being
comfort in letting go , comfort in believing
it's only me now , I'm deceiving myself
I feel there's no cure to relieving this
still now I set a time every day for my grieving
it feels comfortable getting your revenge