Why did you eat that?
Don't you know
You're already fat?

Everyone is staring,
At the way your skin
Is swelled and sagging.

No one wants you,
With all that extra cargo
You look 200 pounds.

Put the food down
And go for a run --
You look disgusting.

Why did you eat that?
Don't you know
You're already fat?

She walks on velvet, swaying hips
Flashes a grin, the poise she keeps
And for her query:
     What makes you happy?
She waves her hand ever gently.

She walks in skin and bones collapsing
Flashes a grin, but near to fainting
With this she answers:
     Loose clothes and shivers
She eats her dinner in reverse.

Blood is her carpet, blades are her sash
She keeps on walking - feline
Fits the crown of purging - rash
'Til she gets to be the beauty queen.

Like rippling water distorts a reflection,
the mirror reshapes my
stomach,
thighs,
arms.

Buttons unlatch from their holsters,
The zipper loosens its grip,
Exposed are the  things I despise.

Pinching, pulling, pushing.
Nothing changes, all still there.

Not so much a distorted body,
More so a distorted mind.

No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.

Maybe you died
Cause everyone's asking where you are
I feel bad cause
I took away their shining star
The innocent girl
Who used to pray hard
Replaced her with a devil
To play her part

I tried to channel you
In hopes that I could steer you back
But then that just reminds me
Of all the qualities you had
That I lack.
I'm not happy anymore
Just really sad
I don't wear any other colours
Except black
Cause I'm just a widow
At your funeral and you're dead
And the fact that I killed you
Leaves me with a heavy chest

And looking back I see
That I didn't treat you great
But through all of that
I still wish you stayed
And I hope you're still alive
But just took a break
Cause without you
I'm a jar of memories and hate

I miss you cause
You were the best I ever had
So dear old me
Please come back.