I just realized
As I was shuffling
Through my poems
A majority of
My poetry
Seems
To be
A
Pocket
For my
Insecurities

Some people like my poetry
And
when I realize that
it's like a little
shock
to my system
...
Because,
it's literally my thoughts

Slightly filtered?
Yes

Extra line breaks
to gain the
impression
I require?
Yes

But, it's still basically

my thoughts
And people seem to
actually find
it
i n t e r e s t i n g
...
Although,
this is surely
the case with
many poets
If
not all
..
I'm sure,
plenty
of the ones I read

...

It's really
amazing

How we are able
to appreciate
each other's
thoughts
despite

Similarities
...
and
differences

One thing
I love about this
site
is that
it's free
...
You're free
to write as you please
...
You're free
to comment as you please
...
There's plenty of room
for self introspection
..
And everyone here is either
like minded
or has an interesting
new
perspective to
contribute

When someone praises me
I'm like a deer
under headlights
Of course I'm delighted
beaming,
even
But I really don't know-
how to respond
...
Do I brush it off?
Act like it's
not a big deal
whether or not
it really is
And move on
to another
subject?
...
Do I just stay quiet
Look down shyly,
and smile?
Or just let the conversation
pass me by?
...
Do I adamantly
reject it?
Refuse, and insist
to the point
that the person
before me
ends up
fighting with me
about
it?
...
Do I roll with it,
faking non-existent
confidence?
Owning up to it,
sometimes
in a joking manner?
...
Do I immediately
switch the topic
to praising
the one
who praised me?
Or have them talk
about themselves
to turn
the
attention from me?
...
Or, do I just smile
large and wide
and thank
the person?
...
I don't know
and it irritates me
that I can even have trouble
with something
as lovely
as a compliment
...
It's not
negative
hurtful
or even
a criticism
...
So why does it
bother me?
...
Maybe
...
I care too much
about what others
think of
me

Our task in class
was
to draw really
depressed people
for a competition
...
I wanted to draw
a really
really
sad
child
...
Chubby
drooping cheeks
Soft
flawless skin

She said no
...
...
...
Instead,
I get to draw
an old person
...
which is fine
But,
...
the WRINKLES
HOW am I to draw
perfectly
EVERY SINGLE
LITTLE
WRINKLE?!
And especially
a value scale
of shading
as well
while
ACCOUNTING
FOR EVERY WRINKLE?!
...
See,
the issue
isn't that
I am unwilling to draw
BUT
But
...
I, consider myself
at big picture person
NOT as much detail oriented

I, consider myself
someone
who relies
at least half
if not more on
creativity
NOT to say
that I lack
technical skill

BUT,
my strong suit
would be
the idea

Now,
she's challenging me
by giving me a simple idea
And having the key portion
be the
execution
...
According to my mom
it's a good thing
...
...
And I agree too,
but...
...
Ugh,
I suppose I'd better go draw

When a person is
Caught off guard
Is their natural
Reaction
Fight
Or flight
...
Or freeze?

Sometimes,
One can play it innocent
Diffident
Flight
Backing off
Easily

Other times
One could play it cool
There’s nothing
Wrong with what I’m doing
And I ain’t moving gurl

Then, there’s the freeze
Just stop
Stutter
Or don’t even speak
Um’s and
Uhhh’s
Leading
The other
To come to their
Own conclusion
...
So, which one do you do
Flight
Or fight
...
Or freeze?