You ran across the tracks losing sense of time and balance in the process.
I found myself staring at the clouds saying a final goodbye to those Reno skies.
You called out to me in a panic as I stepped aboard that impatiently waiting train.
I found myself stuck sitting next to a man who smelled like beer and cigarette... Thanks Reno for my final goodbye.
You waved and banged on the windows trying to get my attention one last time before I left.
But I was already daydreaming of big cities and distant places.
You did the best you could.
I did nothing at all.

You tasted like cinnamon.
Bitter and sweet; you told me once cinnamon was disgusting.

You smelled like rain.
Misty and like wet cement; it was nauseating.

You are the only thing left connecting me to this town we both hate... And yet you've already gone away.

You are the reason I am afraid to turn the corner of the streets; scared I might randomly see you.

You looked like the sun.
Bright and dangerous; back when we first met.

You sounded like a violin.
Stringy and loud... To loud for comfort some would say.

I loved you. I loved you more than words can easily explain.
There aren't enough similes and metaphors to describe my love for you.

But you taste bitter now.

It's 2 am.
Babysitting and watching old Disney movies-- nostalgia.

It's 2 am.
I can't think of anything but How I Met Your Mother.-- nothing good happens after 2 am.

It's 2 am.
Sending flirty texts to boys I just want *** from-- unacceptable from a girl right society?

It's 2am.
Why am I awake?

I like you early in the morning, before you even open your eyes to a new day. I like you in the middle of the night when you're mumbling nonsense and making weird noises in your sleep.

I like you in the afternoon when you can't figure out if you're hungry or not. I like you when you're upset, seeing your brown crease in frustration over some minuscule problem.

I like you when you're yelling about something and I like you even when we disagree. I liked you when you walked into my life and I liked you even when you walked away.

Even though you've walked away without a decent explanation... I still like you anyways.

When all is said and done I guess this was my fault. I teased and I flirted.

There are emotions and feelings and yet when you're around they cease to exist. You lose the words you know how to say; it could be nerves.
I lose my interest; it could be selfishness.,

When this is over I know I'll never be forgiven. I am sorry for the teasing and the flirting.

I know there is something to connect us, I can feel it when you're around. But then things get awkward and I can't handle awkward right now.
I can't handle relationships.
I can't handle myself.

When you go home and I stay here, you'll never be the same and I'll always be afraid of committing to the unknown.

I loved him carefully; from afar I liked to watch him grow into the man I knew today.
I loved him carefully; I watched his moods making sure the outrage stayed as far away from me as I could.
I loved him easily... It wasn't hard when his green eyes watched your every move and his lips held pretty words that danced through my ears.

But he loved me recklessly; he came at me with full speed ahead on marriage and lack of trust.
He loved me dangerously; so much that became afraid to love me at all for fear I would be his all.

I loved him carefully and it was too easy to fall apart when he walked away.
He loved me recklessly and it had become to dangerous for him to keep me around.

One step at a time I watched you shake with ecstasy-- lips quivering at every touch.

One breath at a time I watched you inhale with hope and exhale with passion and comfort.

One word at a time I listened to you begging, wanting, nothing but one more ******-- leaving me breathless.

I took advantage of your feelings for me. I took advantage of your love for my simple lust.

But I sit here now, watching you get dressed, watching your body move slow and easy, and I can't help but wonder... Maybe this isn't just lust.