I'm sweating and shaking
I don't know why,
my mind is quaking,
I'm too scared to try

My chest feels tight,
my legs are weak,
Too lost to fight,
too frightened to speak.

The noise, it drowns
the voices that are near
My head, it pounds
there's a ringing in my ear

The moment passes,
when I see my friend,
"We love you,"
"You don't need to pretend"

With blackened fingertips,
I swallow my tears.
Ink cascading with steady drips,
I jot down all my fears.

Will I be forced off the beaten path,
that I've traveled for years?
Will I still remember how to laugh,
Or will it be a memory to my ears?

The noise is white and static hums,
I cannot concentrate.
The measure of all my emotions, like drums
I bash them down with hate.

I do not think you understand,
how toxic you've become.
Dangling above the land,
from here I have been strung.

A broken puppet on display,
With a chipped porcelain face.
Cut me down, and here I'll lay,
With shaking hands I trace.

I trace the walls of this home,
filled with longing and desire.
I'm broken, yet I still will roam,
'Till my mind burns in this fire.

I never asked for much
It wasn't worth enough
It wasn't worth the rush I'd feel
upon getting what I always wanted.

I never wanted much
what I had was good enough
What I had would make do
it's better than asking you

I never wanted to say
that I was not okay
but when you look at me
you don't even see me

You're too focused on
the ****** show you put on
Just to make us look away
and never ask for anything

it's the ultimate form
of grade A distraction
a natural reaction to
everything we don't want to hear

And when I look at you
and the stupid **** you do
I want to scream at you to
stop, and take a look at life

You're throwing it all away,
and dragging us down with your sinking ship
You're burning it to the ground
the life I wished we could have lived.

So Mother, put the ashtray down
Listen to me when I tell you what I've found
I don't want to live on earth anymore
but you turn away without a glance
and walk out the door.

Did you ever hear my cry for help?
I've done it once before and you never helped.
I can't be bothered to trust you again
when you take a look at my life and don't care
that I want it to end.

Where has the love gone?
Am I unwanted?
Am I broken?
I've spent countless nights awake,
dying to live and living to die.

Where has the time gone?
Am I worthless?
Am I useless?
I lie in bed, wishing on stars
But unable to see them shine.

Where has my mind gone?
Am I insane?
Am I depressed?
I count the sheep
but they always run in circles.

Where has the happiness gone?
Am I afraid?
Am I angry?
I watch the moments pass
but I stay frozen in a place where I hate myself.

Where has the sun gone?
Am I alone?
Am I lonely?
A  crowd surrounds me,
But I'm alone in my world.

Am I broken?
Am I useless?
I'm a waste of space without a purpose.
There's nothing for me to save.
There's no one to save me.

Please, somebody help me
I'm losing my mind.
I'm drowning in the countless lies
I've told myself
it would be alright
but it's not.
I'm not.
Please.
Someone.
                                Save my Broken Mind.

I'm searching for an answer
but I already know the outcome
of my questions.

Another death swept under the rug
billions of people,
not a single one made a sound.

What's the difference between celebrities and normal people, huh?
What in the world is wrong with us?
Are we not important?
Are we replaceable?

People are despicable.
We are the invaders.
An invasive species of the whole world,
destroying everything that is beautiful
and replacing it with synthetic material
to make us feel better
but never helping.

I'm one person among billions.
and I know i'm not the only one
who thinks this world is on the verge of a breakdown.
The question I mentioned,
I think I found it.

Why does it matter?

The answer:
Because aesthetics matter more than the well being of anyone. If they look 'okay' they can't be hurting. They can't be in pain. They're just lying.

The outcome:
A world of lies and cheating and stealing,
all based on how the world sees us
and not how we want to live.

What is the point?
Who the hell wants to live like this,
if live at all?
I'd much rather face down a pack of starving animals
than take on a group of people.
Because animals don't care about the color of your hair or the quality of your makeup, or the brand of your clothes.
They are creatures of instinct.
They are creatures of family, balance, bonds.
Whereas we are creatures of pain and torment.
Where did our evolution go wrong, I wonder.
Because I don't think we were meant to be like this at all.

By: Cedric McClester

Conclusion no collusion
Kellyanne Conway said
Confusion and illusion
Or so her cue cards read
Liar truth denier
She’s always been instead
A reliable justifier
While moving their agenda ahead

Hickory dickory Dock
I can’t help but to mock
The way she made her point
By clouding up the joint
Where there’s smoke there’s fire
Nine times out of ten
And it’s my desire
That the church just say amen!

She’s been branded a liar
On The Morning Joe
Therefore, on their airways
She’s not allowed to go
Because she’s not reliable
And they’ve told her so
That fact is undeniable
Even when the news is slow

Now her reputation
Is on the chopping blocks
Everywhere that is
With the exception of FOX
Who gives her an audience
And listens as she talks
To this reoccurring character
In the funnies on Boondocks


Cedric McClester, Copyright  © 2019.  All rights reserved.

Dusting off the chains
that wrap around this heart.
Polish them until they shine
so golden in the dark.

chains so strong,
they can withstand time
and everything that
tries to break them.

Chains so bright,
it's all anyone ever sees
and they turn away
from the real treasure underneath.

If they fall with just one look
I'm sure it's the gold
that's got them hooked.
And you'll leave them in the dust.

But if they see past the fool,
to the darkness deep below.
And search until they find your heart
then they'll hold your soul.

And pray to God
that they truly care
for if they make it far
a single word would be enough
to tear you from the dark.