feeling lonely
less a part
my sanity left when this started
its so sad
because I'm sociable
its so sad
because my desires involve being with others
its so sad
because outside is a danger now
and how i thrive is going out and seeing people
going to public areas
talking at bars
socializing at restaurants
its so sad
because i don't know when this will end
quarantine has ****** me
and its so sad

i remember this time years ago where the trees were full
i look at pictures and the trees have green beauty
now i look outside and they are naked
as my soul screeches i feel exposed,
just as the trees do
the wind blows and it goes right through them
if it's strong enough it will knock them down
a bird cannot hide
a bird cannot be protected
a bird cannot make a nest
without something disturbing it
i feel for the trees
they're ruined!
once a long time ago the trees were beautiful and full
they now sit,
barren and troubled.

****
****
****
****
i have lost myself
and i hate you so much
but i hate myself more

she was like cedar
astonishing, but delicate.
a nice mixture of things.
i'd say
but also easily dented and calloused
her eyes made of oceans
never know how deep they go
her voice,
a melody on its own
a simple song
a lullaby
she was like a doe
graceful and elegant
but easily shot down
huntee
as if i was the hunter
a treasure
worth more than the whole world in my hands
and i,
was the asteroid

its christmas and the only gift i want is to lose weight