I wonder if I tilt my head a bit on the side,
so my jaw would be angled just right,
so my nose would be touched nicely by shadows,
so my eyes would spark to lure the light-
I wonder if I walk a few steps towards, perhaps a few steps back-
I wonder if some type of arm stretch, or head rest-
will make you ask for my number.
And you- a fine sculpt of a man
do not need to do any but breathe then,
to have it.

i see things in the dark,
quick flashes in my mind.
the voices scream in my ear,
saying "you deserve to die."
maybe it wasn't real,
but i saw you here last night.
you grabbed my throat,
crushing my esophagus.
you reached inside of my chest,
ripping my heart out.

i wondered why took my heart from me when i would have given it to you, had you asked. i wondered why you stole the air from my lungs when, all along, i breathed for you.

you ripped at my skin and broke my bones.
you tore my eyes from my skull and forced them to watch as you tortured my soul;
and when you were finished, you threw the glue at my feet and demanded i fix myself.
maybe it isn't real,
but              
       i            
          am
                 fine.

these things i see so often, can you tell me if they are real?
they have been haunting me for so long.
it's almost time to say good-bye.

these things i see so often, they are coming for you too,
you better run and hide:
they will devour every inch of you.

I'm curious. How does it feel to **** up two relationships in less than two months? I bet it feels ******* fantastic. Just don't convince the next ***** that you actually love her. Give her a heads up that you're all about the *** no matter how much you say "relationships aren't about *** for me" give her a heads up for me. Let her know she doesn't mean **** to you except some nice ***** and someone to complain to. Make sure she knows that the ring you show her wasn't bought for her. Don't give her Jacks ring because that'll make her feel special. It'll make her read into it. When we both know that she isn't special. Jack gave you that ring. Stop trying to give it away. Don't tell her that she's beautiful or sing her songs. Because that'll make her think that you actually give a **** what happens to her. When you know you really could care less. Don't tell her that she calms you down or helps with your ptsd because that'll make her feel important. It'll make her feel like she means something to you. When really it's just another **** buddy that you tell "I love you" to. And for Christ's sake. Don't tell her those three words if you're not sure with all of your being that you mean it. Don't tell her that you're scared to lose her when you're gonna walk away. Don't tell her that you had ******* nightmares about her leaving, when you were planning on leaving her. Don't **** her up any more than she already is man. Say what you mean and mean what you ******* say. Don't make plans with her that are far out in the future because that'll just **** up those days for her. Next time you see a ***** that you wanna ****, make sure she knows that's all it is. Don't tell her that you don't hurt people and that you're the one who is always getting hurt, because that's complete *******. Complete and utter *******. Don't lie to her about what you believe and then decide to tell her the truth once she is invested her whole heart in you. Unless of course, you don't care how many girls you **** up in the head. Because in that case, do all of those things I just said not to do.

I'll take a bitter kiss
if it heals the pain in my chest.
Bed-sheets stink of hate and unrest;
My nostrils fill with the smell of blood.
Hers. Mine. Ours. It smells like regret.
   But all is well;
It must be for the best.

Still I'll take a bitter kiss
over a night of hateful, fierce ***
  If it heals the pain in my chest,
  If it's what you think is best,
  If it calms this weary flood.
                                            These sheets stink of blood.
                                             Cut me until I cannot heal;
                                            Steal me until I cannot feel.
           Then I will rest, alone in a field
                                  of scarlet flowers
                              and azure starlight
                                     and no regrets.

Drunk on love,
&& some cheap boxed wine.
I do this all the time;
Why do I do this all the time?

There are 37.2 trillion cells
in the human body
Yet somehow,
you're coursing through
every last one of them.

I push people away constantly,
For fear of ever
Falling in love with them.

The heart always wants
What it cannot have,
A far away lover
From a far away land.

All I'm left with are these words,
Which shall forever
remain unspoken.

I'll just carry on in denial,
Pretending I'm not
Heartbroken.

If my outer layers are perfectly
placed together,
Can anyone tell that
my insides are shattered?

Bruised && battered;
Does it really matter?
Does any of it matter,

To you?

Why is it that I go to sleep feeling lonely
But wake up to one hundred texts
People don't want me during the day time
But in the night I'm apparently a godsend

The 2 A.M. "what're you up to"?
Surely I know what that means
What you really want to know
Is if I'll satisfy your needs

When you're just a pretty face
No one cares what's on the inside
I'm the girl whom your mind jumps to
When all you want is a good time

I may not be everyone's cup of tea
But surely I'm their ninth shot of liquor
Brought up over drunken conversation
You all say "yeah, I'd stick her"

It doesn't matter what I say
It's not as if I have a choice
In this world of simple pleasures
I'm viewed as a body without a voice