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 Mar 2014 Alice
Et cetera
I have betrayed your trust.
You know.
Yet you say nothing.
The silence in your eyes says it all.
They’re always so animate.
Not today.
They’re blank, shielded, silent.
Do you remember, I told you…
That I hate silence?
It leaves so much unspoken.
It leaves such heavy dents.
Even though…
It weighs nothing.
But its nothingness weighs a lot.
It cuts. It strikes. It burns.
It is cold. Icy.

Remember the years we spent so close?
That was comfortable.
Our silences were warm.
They spoke.
They left nothing unsaid.
They were light. And liquid.
I loved them. They were cosy.
They exuded sincerity.
Animate silences. Expressive silences.

But I've betrayed your trust.
And this silence hangs between us.
It is cold, and it slaps me in the face.
It seeps into my veins.
It reminds me of what I did.
It rebukes me.
It lets me punish myself.
It speaks. Of betrayal. Of lies, of secrecy.
Of things left unsaid.
Of broken promises.
Our shattered trust.
Of blackened tar and burnt coal.
Of stained hands and glassy eyes.
Of smeared dirt and crushed diamonds.
Of torn clothes and broken needles.

It speaks. It is silent.
It speaks. It is trust.
It speaks. It is betrayal.
It speaks. It is sin.
It speaks. It is black.

Your eyes are silent.
Written on 11th December 2013.
 Mar 2014 Alice
ASB
star-crossed
 Mar 2014 Alice
ASB
the great love poems
are the ones
about love that's
unrequited, or
impossible.
without complications,
the dust simply
settles.
people get used to love
and it becomes a habit,
it remains but sometimes
they'll forget it's still there.
and the poets, they write
about what they'll never have,
and perhaps there is beauty in that,
in the literature of
unending desperation,
but by now I've come
to realise that most poets'd
gladly die for a chance
to write bad poetry
and the habit of
a lifetime.
 Mar 2014 Alice
Mostly numb
i simply use big words

in a pathetic attempt

to match up my love

for     you

because if you can't    love  me

than perhaps

you can love my words
maybe if i continue it'll word 10th times a charm as they say
You;
You're a postive,
creature,
with bright eyes.
You have the most amazing smile,
I've ever seen.
And you say all these pretty things,
that isn't meant for people like me.

I;
I'm a depressed,
creature,
with empty eyes.
I don't have a nice smile,
and I don't deserve all those pretty things,
you say to me.

(e.k.j.)
 Mar 2014 Alice
JM
You will not be meeting me
at the train station,
wearing nothing but a sundress and
the warm scents of
wet desire rising as
a lustful fog
from your steaming forest,
anytime soon.

The heat would **** the sun.

I will not be showing up
on your doorstep,
rigid and pulsing
with the blood of
centuries coursing through
my thick roots,
in the nearest future.

The pressure would crush the moon.

Instead,
I swim in your teacup
and warm baths
while you roam in
the smoke at the edge
of my shadow.

I feel your soft whispers
across the ocean of time
as they float on broken
spiderwebs of memory.

Our love is in the words
between the worlds;
resting in the
wet soil of
an afternoon nap,
we bloom as one.

As the fire of night
descends, destroying
the boundaries of time
and space,
we transcend all that
is cold and unforgiving,
leaving behind only
echos of wanting.
 Mar 2014 Alice
A B Perales
They gave me a
29 page pamphlet on
what I can no longer
enjoy.
There wasn't one line
on what I  could
abuse.

We all have our outs,
our ways to escape
it all for a few
needed
moments.
A purpose or a
vice.

My mother has her
wine,
my father his
faith and his guns.
My brothers all
have their futures,
my friend his
Lalo.

All I have
is this,
and if it
ever leaves
me ,
if the words stop
coming.

Then what am I
but another
empty useless
soul ,taking
up space.
Fighting off the
demons,
waiting on the
darkness to come.
 Mar 2014 Alice
ym
scars (ii)
 Mar 2014 Alice
ym
i thought you were different
when you didn’t leave any scars

but instead,
you opened up the old ones
and thought i wouldn’t notice

until i found myself lying on the floor,
wondering why i was bleeding again
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